1999 Christmas Letter Dec. 10, 1999 Well guys, I really don't know if anything new has happened this year. To me it seems like the same old stuff. One thing I do know, it sure was hot here this summer and it lasted a long time. I nearly had a heart attack when the electric bills came. Most of them were in and about the $250 range. This is just for the pleasure of doing what I do around the house without sweat running down the crack of my back. (nice play on words, don't ya think) I am just not a heat person, I can take the cold, but not the heat. I don't even own a coat! After the first bill, I decided to tough it out and turn off the air, that lasted not too long, just about into my second batch of pomegranate jam. Here I was, stirring this steaming mass of stuff for 4 minutes straight, without missing a stroke, or it will burn, with sweat dripping off off the tips of my fingers, the ends of my hair and the bottom of my ear lobes, I said the heck with this, and the air went on for the rest of the summer. In between batches of jam, I had to wash out the pots, spoons, etc. and start again. The first day of making jam, Bob comes in and says, "How long are you gonna be using the sink?" "Why?", I ask stupidly, "I wanted to wash out the hummingbird feeder" The second day I am making jam, Bob comes in and says, "How long you gonna be using the sink?" "Why?", I ask dumfounded, "I wanted to soak some ducks for dinner tonight". The third day I am making jam, Bob comes in and says, "How long you gonna be using the sink?" This time I don't ask why, I just give him one of those god awful stares that could make you go blind, and he says. "I wanted to clean my shotgun". Dear lord in heaven give me enough strength to hold back and not kill him in his sleep. As I am finishing up the last jars of jam for the season, he says, as he sits in his recliner watching some television show 4 times louder than it needs to be, "Could you fix me a milkshake?" "Sure I can", I say "AS SOON AS I GET DONE STIRRING THIS JAM FOR 4 MINUTES WITHOUT STOPPING, AND PUTTING IT IN THESE CUTE LITTLE JARS!" Besides making jam, I also went to Disney land. Me, my son Rick, his wife Tiffani and their 2 kids Taylor 5 and Jace 2 and my daughter Jill and her husband Russell and their daughter Alix 2 all managed to survive the trip. All went well going to L.A. All the kids had a seat and they kept their belts on, that was a miracle in it's self. We had to get up at 3 a.m. to catch the plane at 6 a.m. Got to Disneyland about 9:30 a.m. Seems like we walked forever the first day, saw a lot of Disneyland but not all of it. Got up early the next day so we could get an early entrance to the park. Got there about 7:30 a.m. and got to see all the things that had horrible lines the day before. The zipper police busted son-in-law Russell. He had his daughter Alix on his shoulders and when he lifted her up to hand her to me, this cop came running over to him, we turned around just in time to see Russell zipping up his zipper. (We told him it gave a whole new meaning to "It's a small world after all." He did not see the humor in.) The 2 year olds were afraid of all the characters and wanted nothing to do with them. Taylor, the 5 year old, wanted to shop in all the shops, we couldn't pass a shop without her saying, "I just want to look at something for one minute". The Mono-Rail was only running one way, to the Disneyland Hotel and back. They had half of it torn down, because they are expanding the park. The wait was terrible, It ran every 20 minutes or so. Have you ever had to wait at the mono-rail station for 20 minutes with 3 kids, and 3 strollers that had to be folded up to get on the mono-rail? It's not pretty. 2 year old Jace got a light sword like Darth Vader's. and if he wasn't sticking it in someone's butt, he was swinging it around a whacking everyone with it. When he pushed it on someone's butt it telescoped in, when he took it off, it telescoped out. It was pretty funny to me, but then again, I have been told I have a sick side to my humor. His Dad threatened to throw it in the lagoon by the mono-rail if he didn't leave it folded up. Bought them some neon necklaces to wear at the Mulan Parade, and they took them apart and wanted to eat them. (I wondered if the kids would glow in the dark if they did) The last day there, we had to catch the bus at 7 p.m. at the Disneyland Hotel to take us to the airport, We were planning on catching the mono-rail at 6 p.m, but we were waiting for pictures of the kids with Pooh to be developed, so we sent Jill, Russell and Alix ahead to get the luggage and meet us at the bus stop. By the time we got to the Mono-rail it had just left so we had to wait another 20 minutes for it to come back. We finally got on one at 10 minutes to 7 p.m. and got to the other side of the park at 4 minutes to 7. Taylor was taking pictures on the mono-rail of people and said she wanted to save a picture so she could take one of Alix. I said, " You may never see Alix again, we may be living in Southern Calif. the rest of our lives." We had Taylor run ahead of us and push the elevator button, while we run holding 2 year Jace, (with his light sword) 2 strollers folded up and hands full of packages and cameras. We practically jumped the turnstiles, felt like O.J. doing commercials, ran all the way to the hotel, through the hotel, out to the bus stop, and just as we got there the bus pulled up. Russell and Jill were having heart attacks wondering if we were going to make it, and what to do if we didn't. Took an hour and a half to get to the airport. When we got there, we did the same run we did at the Mono-rail station, only this time we had 3 kids, 3 strollers, packages, luggage, cameras and 5 adults acting like were a few clowns short of a circus. Finally got the luggage and strollers tagged and had 2 minutes to catch the plane. We were all starving to death, but no time to eat, then a miracle happened, the plane was delayed for 10 minutes, we ran to the McDonald's in the airport and got food. Sat the kids down on the floor and passed out the happy meals, Looked like we had set up a refugee camp. Thank God it's over, can't wait until next time! When we got to the airport in Sacramento, Rick's car had a flat tire and it was starting to rain, our luck never changes. Easter came and went without much controversy, The kids from 8 months to 5 years, made so many "Cat Turd Castles" in the sand it wasn't funny. Even the babies learned to say "Cat Poop". Going to have to do something with those darn cats. The only mishap was when Taylor, 4, flushed the foil from her chocolate easter rabbit down the toilet and the toilet backed up, she had enough sense to put her darling little hand in the water and pull it out. Her grandfather about had a hemorrhage. He was worried about her hand being in the toilet. I told him not to get his underwear in a wedge, I had just scrubbed the toilet for company and it was perfectly clean. Last week we could hear a cat meow, we would go to the door and no cat was there. This went on day and night for 2 days, finally Bob went out early one morning to see where the meow was coming from. There on the top of a hollow tree was the cat's head sticking out from a hole in the tree. Nothing else, just the head. He couldn't get his body out of the hole and he couldn't back down because he was stuck. Bob spent 2 hours on a 20 foot ladder sawing with a chain saw and using his chisel and hammer it get this idiot out of the tree. I took pictures, just in case Bob fell off the ladder I didn't want to miss it on film. Just another typical week. Jill is going to have a baby in May and is quitting her job to become a stay at home Mom like I was. She and I planted Iris last week and now she has a nice case of poison oak all over her neck and I noticed today she has a few spots on her face. She can't get the shot for it because she is pregnant so it's just cream and Benadryl. See I told you nothing ever happens around here!