Hello, I don't want to make light of "spousal abuse" as I was a victim of it with my first marriage (mostly emotional / verbal). And, my mother was a victim of "emotional / verbal abuse" for the whole 50 yrs. of my parents' marriage. * But, in 2007, I was looking for an old newspaper article about my great-grandfather in a newspaper for Stoneham, MA. And, I found an article about "spousal abuse" which was somewhat amusing to read but not amusing to think about. I posted it on the MA List at the time: http://archiver.rootsweb.ancestry.com/th/read/genmassachusetts/2007-10/1192101108 1890 newspaper article: "Divided by a Skunk -- 17 Charges Specified in a Suit for Divorce" Sara E. GOULD of Leeds, Maine, divorcing Chessman D. GOULD specifies 17 charges among which is that, to annoy her, her husband placed a dead skunk in her clothes closet. Other charges are that he threw a spittoon at her; that he seized the dishes upon the table and violently broke them, that he turned the flour barrel bottom side up in the pantry and the flour upon the floor, that he angrily broke the sewing machine; that he shoveled the dirt on the floor she was washing, that at times he instead of buying sugar for the family he bought it for himself and kept it locked up and brought it to the table for his own use, that while the family were without the soap, he kept soap for himself locked up in his own room, that he told her it would be the happiest day in his life when he could dance on her grave, that he habitually kept his room locked up so she could not enter it. " FYI: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spousal_abuse Betty (near Lowell, MA) * My father was a Dr. Jekyl and Mr. Hyde, or, when he was good, he was very good, but, when he was bad, he was horrid. My "EX" was just an unpleasant person - from day one, but, when children arrived, he became horrid. Being a single-parent for 20 yrs., with my children having an abusive and non-participating father - "I could write a book." And, then, as a single-parent, I started dating a man who started stalking me when I stopped dating him. Very fortunately, I met the man who would later become my current husband.

On 2/27/2011 8:15 AM, Ms Betty Fredericks wrote: > Hello, > > I don't want to make light of "spousal abuse" as I was a victim of it with my first marriage (mostly emotional / verbal). And, my mother was a victim of "emotional / verbal abuse" for the whole 50 yrs. of my parents' marriage. * [snip] Betty: There are without question forms of abuse which do not involve physical attacks upon the person of the victim. Some are reprehensible in the extreme, in some cases doing more lasting damage than a blow with a fist. To say this, excuses neither kind of abuse. However, let us look back at the actual question that was asked. We need to do this in the light of this being, after all, a genealogical forum. There was a statement in a formal legal document, by a doctor, that used the word "murder" regarding a man's death. This leaves us with only two possibilities. Either the doctor who wrote it was irresponsible; or, someone took actions which in the doctor's medical opinion led to the deceased person's death. Calling verbal and/or psychological abuse grounds for divorce, even calling it a criminal act, is one thing (and in my opinion, if serious enough, is justified); calling it murder is another. Genealogically, I think it is enough to state the facts as they appear in the record, and let them speak for themselves. Darrell