To Sherry Chapman...I'm so sorry to hear about your son. I can't imagine what would life would be like if I lost any of my children. As to the Find-A-Grave memorial, if the contributor has the compassion you related, may I suggest you request that he transfers the "management" of the memorial to you. Then you'd have control of the content including being able to delete it. The choice would be yours as it should be. Dave Robison Old Bones Genealogy -----Original Message----- From: transitional-genealogists-forum-bounces@rootsweb.com [mailto:transitional-genealogists-forum-bounces@rootsweb.com] On Behalf Of transitional-genealogists-forum-request@rootsweb.com Sent: Monday, October 15, 2012 3:01 AM To: transitional-genealogists-forum@rootsweb.com Subject: TRANSITIONAL-GENEALOGISTS-FORUM Digest, Vol 6, Issue 554 The Transitional Genealogists List was created to provide a supportive environment for genealogists to learn best practices as they transition to professional level work. Please respect the kind intentions of this list. Today's Topics: 1. Re: Find a grave (Sherry Chapman) 2. Re: Innappropriate listings on Find a grave or elsewhere. (Dana E.) ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Message: 1 Date: Sun, 14 Oct 2012 20:37:31 -0700 (PDT) From: Sherry Chapman <sherry1chapman@yahoo.com> Subject: Re: [TGF] Find a grave To: Michele Lewis <ancestoring@gmail.com>, "'Suzanne '" <t4tsinda@bigpond.com> Cc: 'TGF' <TRANSITIONAL-GENEALOGISTS-FORUM-L@rootsweb.com> Message-ID: <1350272251.65942.YahooMailNeo@web113305.mail.gq1.yahoo.com> Content-Type: text/plain; charset=iso-8859-1 I was stunned when I found my son's monument uploaded by someone I don't know on FAG. My heart just plunged to my stomach. I actually felt a sense of terror I cannot explain. It was?reminiscent?of being absolutely unable to bring Ryan back, no matter how much I bargained with God. It felt like that total lack of control. I feel very proprietary of Ryan's grave site, tending to the landscaping and keeping candles lit... weeding surrounding graves. ?It was a shock that someone I don't know owns Ryan's entry on FAG when I didn't want it up there at all. But I do see that Ryan's information was added by someone with compassion. So I just let it sit. ? Sherry www.1StopGenealogy.net ________________________________ From: Michele Lewis <ancestoring@gmail.com> To: 'Suzanne ' <t4tsinda@bigpond.com> Cc: 'TGF' <TRANSITIONAL-GENEALOGISTS-FORUM-L@rootsweb.com> Sent: Sunday, October 14, 2012 10:04 PM Subject: Re: [TGF] Innappropriate listings on Find a grave or elsewhere. I will say that someone posted a photo request in my area of a 16 year old boy that had died in a car wreck about 2 weeks earlier.? I just couldn't do it.? I didn't claim the request.? The boy was the son of the pastor of the church down the road from me. Michele The Transitional Genealogists List was created to provide a supportive environment for genealogists to learn best practices as they transition to professional level work. Please respect the kind intentions of this list. ------------------------------- To unsubscribe from the list, please send an email to TRANSITIONAL-GENEALOGISTS-FORUM-request@rootsweb.com with the word 'unsubscribe' without the quotes in the subject and the body of the message ------------------------------ Message: 2 Date: Sun, 14 Oct 2012 21:49:36 -0700 From: "Dana E." <genealady@gmail.com> Subject: Re: [TGF] Innappropriate listings on Find a grave or elsewhere. Cc: TGF <TRANSITIONAL-GENEALOGISTS-FORUM-L@rootsweb.com> Message-ID: <CAARHKxrQAwHuR90g7Xue4JzyewnSsZy+FmQ82_XxXetyWNsNng@mail.gmail.com> Content-Type: text/plain; charset=ISO-8859-1 I just wanted to let everyone know that I appreciate their condolences on my brother's loss and that I'm not overly angered by the placement of this memorial. I just didn't understand it, really. FAG is about burials, not memorials - my brother wasn't buried and even if he was, this contributor clearly has no further information about it. I don't know this person at all, so I assume they just found the notice in the paper. It's not even the obituary, as that wasn't published in that state and nothing from the obituary is included. Why put someone who has no grave on FAG? I am mystified. At any rate, my family and I asked the person to remove it, and I hope they will comply. Dana ------------------------------ End of TRANSITIONAL-GENEALOGISTS-FORUM Digest, Vol 6, Issue 554 ***************************************************************

Thank you Dave and others who have responded privately. I may do that. It is important to add that, aside from my son's entry, I do appreciate the Find-A-Grave site and others like it. I am grateful to the volunteers who take the time to photograph cemeteries and upload the photos.  In fact, I have benefited both personally and professionally from the generosity of many contributors to these sites. Although I have many relatives represented on Find-A-Grave, it is only my son's memorial being managed by a stranger that bothers me.   Sherry www.1StopGenealogy.net ________________________________ From: Dave Robison <dave@oldbones.co> To: transitional-genealogists-forum@rootsweb.com Sent: Monday, October 15, 2012 10:07 AM Subject: Re: [TGF] TRANSITIONAL-GENEALOGISTS-FORUM Digest, Vol 6, Issue 554 To Sherry Chapman...I'm so sorry to hear about your son.  I can't imagine what would life would be like if I lost any of my children. As to the Find-A-Grave memorial, if the contributor has the compassion you related, may I suggest you request that he transfers the "management" of the memorial to you.  Then you'd have control of the content including being able to delete it.  The choice would be yours as it should be. Dave Robison Old Bones Genealogy -----Original Message----- From: transitional-genealogists-forum-bounces@rootsweb.com [mailto:transitional-genealogists-forum-bounces@rootsweb.com] On Behalf Of transitional-genealogists-forum-request@rootsweb.com Sent: Monday, October 15, 2012 3:01 AM To: transitional-genealogists-forum@rootsweb.com Subject: TRANSITIONAL-GENEALOGISTS-FORUM Digest, Vol 6, Issue 554 The Transitional Genealogists List was created to provide a supportive environment for genealogists to learn best practices as they transition to professional level work. Please respect the kind intentions of this list. Today's Topics:   1. Re:  Find a grave (Sherry Chapman)   2. Re:  Innappropriate listings on Find a grave or elsewhere.       (Dana E.) ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Message: 1 Date: Sun, 14 Oct 2012 20:37:31 -0700 (PDT) From: Sherry Chapman <sherry1chapman@yahoo.com> Subject: Re: [TGF] Find a grave To: Michele Lewis <ancestoring@gmail.com>, "'Suzanne '"     <t4tsinda@bigpond.com> Cc: 'TGF' <TRANSITIONAL-GENEALOGISTS-FORUM-L@rootsweb.com> Message-ID:     <1350272251.65942.YahooMailNeo@web113305.mail.gq1.yahoo.com> Content-Type: text/plain; charset=iso-8859-1 I was stunned when I found my son's monument uploaded by someone I don't know on FAG. My heart just plunged to my stomach. I actually felt a sense of terror I cannot explain. It was?reminiscent?of being absolutely unable to bring Ryan back, no matter how much I bargained with God. It felt like that total lack of control. I feel very proprietary of Ryan's grave site, tending to the landscaping and keeping candles lit... weeding surrounding graves. ?It was a shock that someone I don't know owns Ryan's entry on FAG when I didn't want it up there at all. But I do see that Ryan's information was added by someone with compassion. So I just let it sit. ? Sherry www.1StopGenealogy.net ________________________________ From: Michele Lewis <ancestoring@gmail.com> To: 'Suzanne ' <t4tsinda@bigpond.com> Cc: 'TGF' <TRANSITIONAL-GENEALOGISTS-FORUM-L@rootsweb.com> Sent: Sunday, October 14, 2012 10:04 PM Subject: Re: [TGF] Innappropriate listings on Find a grave or elsewhere. I will say that someone posted a photo request in my area of a 16 year old boy that had died in a car wreck about 2 weeks earlier.? I just couldn't do it.? I didn't claim the request.? The boy was the son of the pastor of the church down the road from me. Michele The Transitional Genealogists List was created to provide a supportive environment for genealogists to learn best practices as they transition to professional level work. Please respect the kind intentions of this list. ------------------------------- To unsubscribe from the list, please send an email to TRANSITIONAL-GENEALOGISTS-FORUM-request@rootsweb.com with the word 'unsubscribe' without the quotes in the subject and the body of the message ------------------------------ Message: 2 Date: Sun, 14 Oct 2012 21:49:36 -0700 From: "Dana E." <genealady@gmail.com> Subject: Re: [TGF] Innappropriate listings on Find a grave or     elsewhere. Cc: TGF <TRANSITIONAL-GENEALOGISTS-FORUM-L@rootsweb.com> Message-ID:     <CAARHKxrQAwHuR90g7Xue4JzyewnSsZy+FmQ82_XxXetyWNsNng@mail.gmail.com> Content-Type: text/plain; charset=ISO-8859-1 I just wanted to let everyone know that I appreciate their condolences on my brother's loss and that I'm not overly angered by the placement of this memorial. I just didn't understand it, really. FAG is about burials, not memorials - my brother wasn't buried and even if he was, this contributor clearly has no further information about it. I don't know this person at all, so I assume they just found the notice in the paper. It's not even the obituary, as that wasn't published in that state and nothing from the obituary is included. Why put someone who has no grave on FAG? I am mystified. At any rate, my family and I asked the person to remove it, and I hope they will comply. Dana ------------------------------ End of TRANSITIONAL-GENEALOGISTS-FORUM Digest, Vol 6, Issue 554 *************************************************************** The Transitional Genealogists List was created to provide a supportive environment for genealogists to learn best practices as they transition to professional level work. Please respect the kind intentions of this list. ------------------------------- To unsubscribe from the list, please send an email to TRANSITIONAL-GENEALOGISTS-FORUM-request@rootsweb.com with the word 'unsubscribe' without the quotes in the subject and the body of the message