When my mom got sick in 1996 I was the one who took care of  her.  She moved in with us and I stayed with her when she was in the hospital too, sleeping on the floor because the nurses didn't want me there (mom was on the geriatric ward and there was one RN for 30 patients, plus 1 LPN and 2 aides).  When she died I went through the whole guilt thing, thinking I hadn't done enough and I nearly ended up in the psych ward. About a week after her funeral I received what appeared to be a condolence card.  It was from the monument company across the street from the cemetery.  Along with their "so sorry for your loss" was a bid for a headstone to match my dad's - with a picture of his enclosed.  Of course, you could see her flower covered grave next to his. I was so angry that I called them and said that hell would freeze over before they would get any business from me.  I couldn't fathom why they would be that uncaring.  It was just so shocking to see that picture, so I can understand how any "announcement" or memorial would cut someone so deep.   Cathy Champion in Fenton, MO 63026 (near St. Louis)   "When a man loves cats, I am his friend and comrade without further introduction" - Mark Twain ________________________________ From: Michele Lewis ancestoring@gmail.com I will say that someone posted a photo request in my area of a 16 year old boy that had died in a car wreck about 2 weeks earlier.  I just couldn't do it.  I didn't claim the request.  The boy was the son of the pastor of the church down the road from me.