First, Phyllis I agree with you. I have been watching this issue for several days and decided to put in my two cents and just did a reply on your message because it was the next one I read. I too use Find a Grave and have found it very helpful. In fact I found a very distant cousin in Arizona through a listing for a Philadelphia, PA cemetery who I suspect I might never have found. I just want to point out that many newspapers place their obituaries online in addition to printing them in the newspapers. I read the obituaries from two newspapers from where I grew up every morning. It is how I find out about people I knew in the past now that my parents are gone and my sisters do not read the local papers. I often know about people we knew growing up who have died, before they know about them. How long the opbituaries are on line differs. Even after they are no longer available though the newspaper website, you can Google the person's name and have a fifty fifty chance that the obituary will come up. I know that in the past it was usually the funeral director or someone who worked at the funeral home who wrote the obituary and sent it to the newspaper. Today family members are often writing the obituaries and either having the funeral director send them to the newspapers or sending them in themselves depending on the policy of the newspaper. In the last ten years I have written my father's, my mother's, and an uncle's obituaries and had the funeral director send them to the newspaper. The papers did not accept them from family members directly. I hold the copyright to the obituaries, just as I would an article that I wrote for a magazine. I have allowed the newspapers to publish the obituaries, just as I have allowed magazines to publish my articles. I wrote my father's obituary while he was in the hospital that last time. He was telling the nurse one night about all of his arrangements being made and that I was the one that pushed he and my mother to do so. At one point he said about the only thing we would have to do was write his obituary and turned to me and said unless you have written it already. I had not done so, although I had scribbled down some notes. Two days later I took him his obituary for his approval. It was only after his funeral was over that we realized I had left out his being president of the schools band parents association when my youngest sisters were in high school. As a result of writing the three obituaries a local genealogy group had me do a class on writing obituaries. I have presented it to several other organizations. Having had my parents make their own funeral arrangements and my writing their obituaries ahead of time, sure made what is a difficult time a lot easier. All we had to do was select the day for the viewing and funereal, what we wanted on the memorial cards, and the flowers. Just some additional thoughts to add to the thread. Chuck Mason -----Original Message----- From: transitional-genealogists-forum-bounces@rootsweb.com [mailto:transitional-genealogists-forum-bounces@rootsweb.com] On Behalf Of Phyllis Garratt Sent: Monday, October 15, 2012 11:40 PM To: transitional-genealogists-forum@rootsweb.com Subject: Re: [TGF] Find a Grave I too am very grateful for the work volunteers do adding to the Findagrave database to memorialize and honor those who have passed. I have recently lost both my parents so understand the pain. However, more regulations and rules are not necessary. If you've recently lost someone and it would bother you to see their information posted, then don't go looking for it. And if someone points it out to you, just don't go there. It's easier (and makes more sense) for each of us individually to control our own choices then to impose restrictions on everybody else. We can each make our own decision. And if you don't like obituary information posted on the internet then discuss with family members what to include or exclude in the obituary. Phyllis The Transitional Genealogists List was created to provide a supportive environment for genealogists to learn best practices as they transition to professional level work. Please respect the kind intentions of this list. ------------------------------- To unsubscribe from the list, please send an email to TRANSITIONAL-GENEALOGISTS-FORUM-request@rootsweb.com with the word 'unsubscribe' without the quotes in the subject and the body of the message