The following was sent to me by a list member. They can come forward and take the credit if they want. Although after you read it you might realize why they wouldn't want to. I found it quite funny myself. Shoot, going to school here in Union County, if I'd had fancy words like these I'd have gotten the babes in highschool! -Chip REDNECK LOVE POEM Collards is green, my dawg's name is Blue and I'm so lucky to have a sweet thang like you. Yore hair is like cornsilk a-flappin in the breeze. Softer than Blue's and without all them fleas. You move like the bass, which excite me in May. You ain't got no scales, but I luv you anyway. Yo're as satisfy'n as okry jist a-fry'n in the pan. Yo're as fragrant as "snuff" right out of the can. You have some'a yore teeth, for which I am proud; I hold my head high when we're in a crowd. On special occasions, when you shave under yore arms, Well, I'm in hawg heaven, and awed by yore charms. Still them fellers at work, they all want to know, What I did to deserve such a purdy, young doe. Like a good roll of duct tape yo're there fer yore man, To patch up life's troubles and fix what you can. Yo're as cute as a junebug a-buzzin' overhead. You ain't mean like those far ants I found in my bed. Cut from the best cloth like a plaid flannel shirt, You spark up my life more than a fresh load of dirt. When you hold me real tight like a padded gunrack. My life is complete; Ain't nuttin' I lack. Yore complexion, it's perfection, like the best vinyl sidin', Despite all the years, yore age, it keeps hidin'. Me'n' you's like a Moon Pie with a RC cold drank, We go together like a skunk goes with stank. Some men, they buy chocolate for Valentine's Day; They git it at Wal-Mart, it's romantic that way. Some men git roses on that special day From the cooler at Kroger. "That's impressive ," I say Some men buy fine diamonds from a flea market booth. Diamonds are forever," they explain, suave and couth. But for this man, honey, these won't do. Cause yor'e too special, you sweet thang you. I got you a gift, without taste nor odor, More useful than diamonds....IT'S A NEW TROLL'N MOTOR!!