I apologize for it taking me so long to get back to you all with my Annual Christmas foolishness. I have several excuses, but the largest of which, the newspaper didn't print my material last week. Last year I shared my Rudolph story, this year I thought I'd do something different. It will be in two parts with this being the first. This year I would like to read to you from some of the Letters to Santa myself (Maynardville.Com) and the Union Newsleader processed for ol' Saint Nick. Believe me, if he can decipher some of these he really is a Saint. I swear to you these were all either sent to Santa through my Maynardville.Com or sent to our Newsleader Office. Now, for the winner in the most Bizarre Santa Letter this year: Dear Santa, I want a teddy bear, Barbie, Cat Dog, Horse, Porn, Pokemon. Your friend (Name deleted) If you didn't see it read that one again. Yes indeed this kid has asked Santa for some porn. I hope it was something else that was misspelled, but it really says porn. I can see my kid pulling a stunt like this one day. What gets me is that our newspaper didn't catch it. There it is printed on page 8 for all the world to see. Don't run out and buy one either, I already sent a copy to Jay leno. There was a close runner up in this category by a kid who simply asked Santa for a pair of wings. Now, I don't know who this Wilbur and Orville wanna-be is, but I hope his mom and dad have good health insurance. I'm pretty sure Santa won't get him any wings, so he'll probably make his own. I see a broken arm in his future. The winner for the most undecipherable letter: Dear Santa, I would like it if you would bring me a Barbie cash register. (Chip's note: so far so good) And a Diva star, and a mowahe. (Chip's note: anybody have any idea what a mowahe is? I know this kid's parents and Santa needs a little help on this one) And a grich getaway car. And a one herd doles doll. (Chip's note: A one herd doles doll? This kid seems to want a herd of Bob Dole dolls) The runner up for this category was: Dear Santa, I wot a big clat for Christmas. I wot a hblk for Christmas. Satclos my bast fren n I wot a big truc. The saddest letter award goes to: Dear Santa, I would like my daddy to call sometimes and spend time with me. (Chip's note: That one is for real folks it was from a little girl) Runner up in this category goes to: Dear Santa, You are a nice Santa. I won't for people as in orphanage to have more kids off the streets, and some shoes for them and some blankets and toys for them. Thank you all. There are tons more great ones, that we received. If you get a chance buy this week's newsleader and read them for yourself. You can order a copy from them at: http://www.maynardville.com/newsleader And this weekend when you're out trying to buy last minute presents at Walmart and people run into you and scream and curse. Remember this last little kid's letter to Santa. For what he lost in diction, he certainly made up for in sentiment. May we all remember the spirit of the season as he did. We took a minute to create you all a Christmas Card. To view it go to www.maynardville.com and enter this number in the slot and click GET MY CARD: b56b4e205 God Bless you all and Merry Christmas. Chip