My mother taught me to read when I was 3 years old (her first mistake). One day, I was in the bathroom and noticed one of the cabinet door was ajar. I read the box in the cabinet. I then asked my mother why she was keeping napkins in the bathroom. Didn't they belong in the kitchen? Not wanting to burden me with unnecessary facts she told me that those were for special occasions. Now fast forward a few months. It's Thanksgiving Day, and my folks are leaving to pick up the pastor and his wife for dinner. Mom had assignments for all of us while they were gone. Mine was to set the table. When they returned, the pastor came in first and immediately burst into laughter. Next came his wife who gasped, then began giggling. Next came my father, who roared with laughter. Then came mom, who almost died of embarrassment when she saw each place setting on the table with a "special occasion" napkin at each plate, with the fork carefully arranged on top. I had even tucked the little tails in so they didn't hang off the edge. My mother asked me why I used these and, of course, my response sent the other adults into further fits of laughter. "But Mom, you SAID they were for special occasions!" ...."Take time to laugh, it's the music of the soul." I didn't receive part one: ACTUAL BUMPER STICKERS (Part 2 of 2) 20. Honk If Anything Falls Off. 21. Cover Me I'm Changing Lanes. 22. He Who Hesitates Is Not Only Lost But Miles From The Next Exit. 23. I Refuse To Have A Battle Of Wits With An Unarmed Person. 24. You! Out Of The Gene Pool! 25. If Sex Is A Pain In The Butt, Then You're Doing It Wrong. 26. Fight Crime: Shoot Back! 27. Remember Folks: Stop Lights Timed For 35 m.p.h. Are Also Timed For 70 m.p.h. 28. If Walking Is So Good For You, Then Why Does My Mailman Look Like Jabba The Hut? 29. Body By Nautilus; Brain By Mattel. 30. Cat: The Other White Meat. 31. You're Just Jealous Because The Voices Are Talking To Me. 32. The Face Is Familiar But I Can't Quite Remember My Name. 33. I Do Whatever My Rice Krispies Tell Me To. 34. It's Been Lovely But I Have To Scream Now. 35. I Haven't Lost My Mind, It's Backed Up On Disk Somewhere. 36. If You Can Read This, Please Flip Me Back Over [seen upside down, on a Jeep]. 37. Boldly Going Nowhere. 38. Money Isn't Everything, But It Sure Keeps The Kids In Touch.