Hi folks, Since we have a lot of guys on the list and because a lot of bashing of the testostorone impaired is in circulation, I thought the men might like this for a change. Nancy > TO WOMEN EVERYWHERE > > If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. We refuse to > answer. > > Learn to work the toilet seat. If it's up, put it down. > > If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to > act like soap opera guys. > > Don't cut your hair. Ever. Long hair is always more attractive than > short hair. > > One of the big reasons guys fear getting married is that married women > always cut their hair, and by then you're stuck with her. > > Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see if we can > find the perfect present yet again! > > If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you > don't want to hear. > > Sometimes, we're not thinking about you. Live with it. Don't ask us what > we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as > navel lint, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks. > > Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. > Let it be. > > Shopping is not a sport, and no, we're never going to think of it that > way. > > When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. > Really. > > You have enough clothes. > > You have too many shoes. > > Crying is blackmail. > > Ask for what you want. Let's be clear on this one: Subtle hints don't > work. Strong hints don't work. Really obvious hints don't work. Just say > it! > > No, we don't know what day it is. We never will. Mark anniversaries on > the calendar. > > Peeing standing up is more difficult. We're bound to miss sometimes. > > Most guys own three pairs of shoes-what makes you think we'd be any good > at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress? > > Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question. > > Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what > we do. > > Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for. > > A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor. > > Foreign films are best left to foreigners. > > Check your oil. > > It is neither in your best interest nor ours to take the quiz together. > No, it doesn't matter which quiz. > > Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. All > comments become null and void after 7 days. > > If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways > makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one. > > Let us ogle. We're going to look anyway; it's genetic. > > You can either tell us to do something OR tell us how to do something > but not both. > > Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during > commercials. > > ALL men see in only 16 colors. Peach is a fruit, not a color. > > If it itches, it will be scratched. > > Beer is as exciting for us as handbags are for you. > > > >