Here's your song: There's 4 long verses and story isn't complete without all four, so bear with me:: FOUR NIGHTS DRUNK I came home the other night as drunk as I could be, and I saw a horse in the stable where my horse ought to be. So I said to my wife, my pretty little wife, "Won't you tell me, please, What's this horse a doin' here where my horse ought to be?" She said "You darn fool, you drunken fool, Can't you ever see? It's nothin' but a milk cow that your mother gave to me." Well, I've traveled this wide world over Some crazy things I've saw, But a saddle on a milk cow, I never seen before. I came home the other night as drunk as I could be And I saw a hat on the table where my hat ought to be. So I said to my wife, my pretty little wife "Won't you tell me please What's this hat a doin' here where my hat ought to be?" She said, "You darn fool, you drunken fool, Can't you ever see? It's nothing but a bed pan that your mother gave to me." Well, I've traveled this wide world over, Some crazy things I saw, But a bedpan marked 7 3/4 I never saw before. I came home the other night as drunk as I could be And I saw a pair of pants in the closet where my pants ought to be. So I said to my wife, my pretty little wife "Won't you tell me please What's these pants a doin' where my pants ought to be?" She said, "You darn fool, you drunken fool, Can't you ever see? It's nothing but a tablecloth that your mother gave to me." Well, I've traveled this wide world over, Some crazy things I saw, But a tablecloth with a zipper I never saw before. I came home the other night as drunk as I could be And I saw a head on the pillow where my head ought to be. So I said to my wife, my pretty little wife "Won't you tell me please, What's this head a doin' where my head ought to be?" She said, "You darn fool, you drunken fool, Can't you ever see? It's nothing but a cabbage head that your mother gave to me." Well, I've traveled this wide world over, Some crazy things I saw, But a moustache on a cabbagehead I never saw before. END Tales of cuckoldry have delighted audiences since time immemorial--and this ballad of the drunken husband hoodwinked by his faithless wife has been a perennial folk favorite. (no name) Just another story/song! Pat O'Neal