Attendant: Welcome aboard Ala Carte Air, sir. May I see your ticket? Passenger: Sure. Attendant: You're in seat 12B. That will be $5, please! Passenger: What for? Attendant: For telling you where to sit. Passenger: But I already knew where to sit. Attendant: Nevertheless, we are now charging a seat locator fee of $5. It's the airline's new policy. Passenger: That's the craziest thing I ever heard. I won't pay it. Attendant: Sir, do you want a seat on this flight, or not? Passenger: Yes, yes. All right, I'll pay. But the airline is going to hear about this. Attendant: Thank you. My goodness, your carry-on bag looks heavy. Would you like me to stow it in the overhead compartment for you? Passenger: That would be swell, thanks. Attendant: No problem. Up we go, and done! That will be $10, please. Passenger: What? Attendant: The airline now charges a $10 carry-on assistance fee. Passenger: This is extortion. I won't stand for it. Attendant: Actually, you're right, you can't stand. You need to sit, And fasten your seat belt. We're about to push back from the gate. But, first I need that $10. Passenger: No way! Attendant: Sir, if you don't comply, I will be forced to call the air marshal. And you really don't want me to do that. Passenger: Why not? Is he going to shoot me? Attendant: No, but there's a $50 air-marshal hailing fee. Passenger: Oh, all right, here, take the $10. I can't believe this. Attendant: Thank you for your cooperation, sir. Is there anything else I can do for you? Passenger: Yes. It's stuffy in here, and my overhead fan doesn't seem to work. Can you fix it? Attendant: Your overhead fan is not broken, sir. Just insert two quarters into the Overhead coin slot for the first five minutes. .Passenger: You mean the airline is charging me for cabin air? Attendant: Of course not, sir. Stagnant cabin air is provided free of charge. It's the circulating air that costs 50 cents. Passenger: I don't have any quarters. Can you make change for a dollar? Attendant: Certainly, sir! Here you go! Passenger: But you've given me only three quarters for my dollar. Attendant: Yes, there's a change making fee of 25 cents. Passenger: For cryin' out loud. All I have left is a lousy quarter? What the heck can I do with this? Attendant: Hang onto it. You'll need it later for the lavatory.

This is a good one. It sure makes a person not want to fly unless it's absolutely necessary. My son and his wife fly quite often in their jobs so I sure pity them. Emma ----- Original Message ----- From: Stella Roper<mailto:busmar1852@webtv.net> To: Southern-Chat@rootsweb.com<mailto:Southern-Chat@rootsweb.com> Sent: Monday, June 30, 2008 10:23 AM Subject: [SOUTHERN-CHAT] What Next????? Attendant: Welcome aboard Ala Carte Air, sir. May I see your ticket? Passenger: Sure. Attendant: You're in seat 12B. That will be $5, please! Passenger: What for? Attendant: For telling you where to sit. Passenger: But I already knew where to sit. Attendant: Nevertheless, we are now charging a seat locator fee of $5. It's the airline's new policy. Passenger: That's the craziest thing I ever heard. I won't pay it. Attendant: Sir, do you want a seat on this flight, or not? Passenger: Yes, yes. All right, I'll pay. But the airline is going to hear about this. Attendant: Thank you. My goodness, your carry-on bag looks heavy. Would you like me to stow it in the overhead compartment for you? Passenger: That would be swell, thanks. Attendant: No problem. Up we go, and done! That will be $10, please. Passenger: What? Attendant: The airline now charges a $10 carry-on assistance fee. Passenger: This is extortion. I won't stand for it. Attendant: Actually, you're right, you can't stand. You need to sit, And fasten your seat belt. We're about to push back from the gate. But, first I need that $10. Passenger: No way! Attendant: Sir, if you don't comply, I will be forced to call the air marshal. And you really don't want me to do that. Passenger: Why not? Is he going to shoot me? Attendant: No, but there's a $50 air-marshal hailing fee. Passenger: Oh, all right, here, take the $10. I can't believe this. Attendant: Thank you for your cooperation, sir. Is there anything else I can do for you? Passenger: Yes. It's stuffy in here, and my overhead fan doesn't seem to work. Can you fix it? Attendant: Your overhead fan is not broken, sir. Just insert two quarters into the Overhead coin slot for the first five minutes. .Passenger: You mean the airline is charging me for cabin air? Attendant: Of course not, sir. Stagnant cabin air is provided free of charge. It's the circulating air that costs 50 cents. Passenger: I don't have any quarters. Can you make change for a dollar? Attendant: Certainly, sir! Here you go! Passenger: But you've given me only three quarters for my dollar. Attendant: Yes, there's a change making fee of 25 cents. Passenger: For cryin' out loud. All I have left is a lousy quarter? What the heck can I do with this? Attendant: Hang onto it. You'll need it later for the lavatory. ------------------------------- To unsubscribe from the list, please send an email to SOUTHERN-CHAT-request@rootsweb.com<mailto:SOUTHERN-CHAT-request@rootsweb.com> with the word 'unsubscribe' without the quotes in the subject and the body of the message

oh me oh my...... and that's just how our taxes are too!!! paulette in sw fla usa....... now I suppose I must pay a $5.00 "reply to email" fee.... like in the old Popeye movie with Robin williams. On Mon, Jun 30, 2008 at 1:23 PM, Stella Roper <busmar1852@webtv.net> wrote: > Attendant: Welcome aboard Ala Carte Air, sir. May I see your ticket? > Passenger: Sure. > Attendant: You're in seat 12B. That will be $5, please! > Passenger: What for? > Attendant: For telling you where to sit. > Passenger: But I already knew where to sit. > Attendant: Nevertheless, we are now charging a seat locator fee of $5. > It's the airline's new policy. > Passenger: That's the craziest thing I ever heard. I won't pay it. > Attendant: Sir, do you want a seat on this flight, or not? > Passenger: Yes, yes. All right, I'll pay. But the airline is going to > hear about this. > Attendant: Thank you. My goodness, your carry-on bag looks heavy. > Would you like me to stow it in the overhead compartment for you? > Passenger: That would be swell, thanks. Attendant: No problem. Up we go, > and done! That will be $10, please. Passenger: What? Attendant: The > airline now charges a $10 carry-on assistance fee. Passenger: This is > extortion. I won't stand for it. Attendant: Actually, you're right, you > can't stand. You need to sit, And fasten your seat belt. We're about to > push back from the gate. But, first I need that $10. Passenger: No way! > Attendant: Sir, if you don't comply, I will be forced to call the air > marshal. > And you really don't want me to do that. Passenger: Why not? Is he going > to shoot me? Attendant: No, but there's a $50 air-marshal hailing fee. > Passenger: Oh, all right, here, take the $10. I can't believe this. > Attendant: Thank you for your cooperation, sir. Is there anything else I > can do for you? > Passenger: Yes. It's stuffy in here, and my overhead fan doesn't seem > to work. Can you fix it? > Attendant: Your overhead fan is not broken, sir. Just insert two > quarters into the > Overhead coin slot for the first five minutes. > .Passenger: You mean the > airline is charging me for cabin air? Attendant: Of course not, sir. > Stagnant cabin air is provided free of charge. > It's the circulating air that costs 50 cents. Passenger: I don't have > any quarters. Can you make change for a dollar? Attendant: Certainly, > sir! Here you go! Passenger: But you've given me only three quarters for > my dollar. Attendant: Yes, there's a change making fee of 25 cents. > Passenger: For cryin' out loud. All I have left is a lousy quarter? What > the heck can I do with this? Attendant: Hang onto it. You'll need it > later for the lavatory. > > > ------------------------------- > To unsubscribe from the list, please send an email to > SOUTHERN-CHAT-request@rootsweb.com with the word 'unsubscribe' without the > quotes in the subject and the body of the message >