This was just posted on another list and it's too good not to post here also. Emma > > *S**outhern women appreciate their natural* > > * assets:* > > > > > Clean skin. > > A winning smile. > > That unforgettable Southern drawl.. > > > > > *Southern women know their manners:* > > 'Yes, ma'am.' > > 'Yes, sir.' > > 'Why, no, Billy!' > > > > > *Southern women have a distinct way with fond expressions* : > > 'Y'all come back!' > > 'Well, bless your heart.' > > 'Drop by when you can.' > > 'How's your Momma?' > > > > > *Southern women know their summer weather report:* > > Humidity > > Humidity > > Humidity > > > > > *Southern women know their vacation spots:* > > The beach > > The rivuh > > The crick > > > > > *Southern women know the joys of June, July, and August:* > > Colorful hi-heel sandals > > Strapless sun dresses > > Iced sweet tea with mint > > Straw hats and big sunglasses > > > > > *Southern women know everybody's first name:* > > Honey > > Darlin' > > Shugah > > > > > *Southern women know the movies that speak to their hearts:* > > Fried Green Tomatoes > > Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood > > Steel Magnolias > > Gone With The Wind > > > > > > *Southern women know their religions:* > > Baptist > > Methodist > > Catholic > > Football > > > > > *Southern women know their country breakfasts:* > > Red-eye gravy > > Grits > > Eggs > > Country ham > > Mouth-watering homemade biscuits with momma's homemade jelly > > > > > *Southern women know their cities dripping with Southern charm:* > > Chawl'stn > > S'vanah > > Foat Wuth > > N'awlins > > Addlanna > > > > > *Southern women know their elegant gentlemen:* > > Men in uniform. > > Men in tuxedos > > Rhett Butler > > > > > *Southern girls know their prime real estate:* > > The Mall > > The Country Club > > The Beauty Salon > > > > > *Southern girls know the 3 deadly sins:* > > Having bad hair and nails > > Having bad manners > > Cooking bad food > > > > *More Suth en-ism's:* > > Only a Southerner knows the difference between a* hissie fit* and a* > **conniption > fit*, and that you don't 'HAVE' them, you 'PITCH' them. > > _____ > > Only a Southerner knows how many fish, collard greens, turnip greens, peas, > beans, etc, make up* 'a mess.'* > > _____ > > Only a Southerner can show or point out to you the general direction of* ** > 'yonder.'* > > _____ > > Only a Southerner knows exactly how long* 'directly'* is, as in: 'Going to > town, be back directly.' > > _____ > > Even Southern babies know that *'Gimme some sugar'* is not a request for the > white, granular sweet substance that sits in a pretty little bowl in the > middle of the table. > > _____ > > All Southerners know exactly when *'by and by'* is. They might not use the > term, but they know the concept well. > > _____ > > Only a Southerner knows instinctively that the best gesture of solace for a > neighbor who's got trouble is a plate of hot fried chicken and a big bowl of > *cold potato salad*. If the neighbor's trouble is a real crisis, they also > know to add a large banana puddin! > > _____ > > Only Southerners grow up knowing the difference between* 'right near' *and* 'a > right far piece.'* They also know that* **'just down the road'* > > can be 1 mile or 20.. > > _____ > > Only a Southerner both knows and understands the difference between a > redneck, a good ol' boy, and po' white trash. > > _____ > > No true Southerner would ever assume that the car with the flashing turn > signal is actually going to make a turn. > > _____ > > A Southerner knows that* 'fixin'* can be used as a noun, a verb, or an > adverb. > > _____ > > Only Southerners make friends while standing in lines, and when we're 'in > line,' we talk to everybody! > > _____ > > Put 100 Southerners in a room and half of them will discover they're > related, even if only by marriage. > > _____ > > In the South,* y'all* is singular,* all y'all* is plural. > > _____ > > Southerners know grits come from corn and how to eat them. > > _____ > > Every Southerner knows tomatoes with eggs, bacon, grits, and coffee are > perfectly wonderful; that red eye gravy is also a breakfast food; and that > fried green tomatoes are not a breakfast food. > > _____ > > When you hear someone say, 'Well, I caught myself lookin',' you know you are > in the presence of a genuine Southerner! > > _____ > > Only true Southerners say* 'sweet tea, ''sweet milk,' and 'light bread'*. Sweet > tea indicates the need for sugar and lots of it we do not like our tea > unsweetened. 'Sweet milk' means you don't want buttermilk. And 'Light > bread' is white bread. > > _____ > > And a true Southerner knows you don't scream obscenities at little old > ladies who drive 30 MPH on the freeway. You just say*,'Bless her > heart'......* > > and go your own way. > > _____ > > To those of you who are still a little embarrassed by your Southernness: > Take two tent revivals and a dose of sausage gravy and call me in the > morning. Bless your heart! > > _____ > > And to those of you who are still having a hard time understanding all this > Southern stuff, .. bless your hearts, I hear they are fixin' to have classes > on Southernness as a second language! > > _____ > > And for those that are not from the South but have lived here for a long > time, all y'all need a sign to hang on y'alls front porch that reads 'I > ain't from the South, but I got here as fast as I could.' > > > > > *Southern girls know men may come and go, but friends are fahevah* ! > > > > *Now....... Shugah, send this to someone who** **was raised in the South or > wish they had** **been!* > > *If you're a Northern transplant, Bless your** **little heart, fake it..* > > *We know you got** **here as fast as you could.* > > > ------------------------------ > > > > <h@aol.com> > > > > > > > > <http://www.incredimail.com/index.asp?id=109095&rui=61774397> > > No virus found in this incoming message. > Checked by AVG - www.avg.com > > > > > > -- > "If you don't get outside every day, even for a minute, you have not > appreciated what God has done. It makes you grateful for our surroundings, > and it starts your day differently." > > Johnny Cash > > > > > > http://freepages.genealogy.rootsweb.com/~mbousman1/memory.htm > > > > ------------------------------- > To unsubscribe from the list, please send an email to MEMORY-LANE-request@rootsweb.com with the word 'unsubscribe' without the quotes in the subject and the body of the message