MURPHY'S LAW OF GENEALOGY 1. The public ceremony in which your distinguished ancestor participated and at which the platform collapsed under him turned out to be a hanging. 2. When at last after much hard work you have evolved the mystery that you have been working on for two years, your aunt says, "I could have told you that." 3. You search ten years for your grandmother's maiden name to eventually find it on a letter in a box in the attic. 4. You never asked your father about his family when he was alive because you weren't interested in genealogy then. 5. The will you need is in the safe on board the Titanic. 6. Copies of old newspapers have holes occurring only on the surnames. 7. John, son of Thomas the immigrant whom your relatives claim as the family progenitor, died on board ship at the age of 10. 8. Your great grandfather's newspaper obituary states that he died leaving no issue of record. 9. Another genealogist has just insulted the keeper of the vital records you need. 10. The relative who had all the family photographs gave them all to her daughter who has no interest in genealogy and no inclination to share. 11. The only record you find for your great grandfather is that his property was sold at a sheriff's sale of insolvency. 12. The one document that would supply the missing link in your dead end line has been lost due to fire, flood, or war. 13. The town clerk to whom you wrote for the information sends you a long handwritten letter which is totally illegible. 14. The spelling of your European ancestor's name bears no relationship to its current spelling or pronunciation. 15. None of the pictures in your recently deceased grandmother's photo album have names written on them. 16. No one in your family tree ever did anything noteworthy, owned property, was sued or was named in a will. 17. You learn that your great aunt's executor just sold her life's collection of family genealogical materials to a flea market dealer "Somewhere in New York City." 18. Ink fades and paper deteriorates at a rate inversely proportional to the value of the data recorded. 19. The 37 volume, 16,000 page history of your county of origin isn't indexed. 20. You finally find your great grandparents' wedding record and discover that the bride's father was named John Smith. YOU KNOW YOU'RE AN ADDICTED GENEALOGIST- ..when you brake for libraries. ..if you get locked in a library overnight and you never even notice. ..when you hyperventilate at the sight of an old cemetery. ..if you'd rather browse in a cemetery than a shopping mall. ..when you think every home should have a microfilm reader. ..if you'd rather read census schedules than a good book. ..when you know every town clerk in your state by name. ..if town clerks lock the doors when they see you coming. ..when you're more interested in what happened in 1697 than 1997. ..if you store clothes under the bed and your closet is carefully stacked with notebooks and journals. ..when Stewart, Taylor, and Rose are household names, but you can't remember what you call your dog. ..if you can pinpoint Harrietsham, Hawkhurst and Kent on a map of England, but can't locate Topeka, Kansas. ..when all your correspondence begins, "Dear Cousin," ..if you've traced every one of your ancestral lines back to Adam and Eve, have it fully documented, and still don't want to quit. The Genealogy Prayer... Genealogy is my pastime. I shall not stray. It maketh me to lie down and examine half-buried tombstones. It leadeth me into still Court houses. It restoreth my Ancestral Knowledge. It leadeth me into the paths of Census Records and Ships' Passenger lists for my surnames sake Yea though I wade through the Shadows of Research Libraries and Microfilm readers, I shall fear no discouragement, for a strong urge is with me. The Curiosity and Motivation, they comfort me. It demandest preparation of Storage Space for the acquisition of countless documents. It anointeth my head with burning Midnight Oil; my family group sheets runneth over. Surely Birth, Marriage and Death records shall follow me all the days of my life; and I shall dwell in the house of the Family History Center forever. _________________________________________________________________ MSN 8 with e-mail virus protection service: 2 months FREE* http://join.msn.com/?page=features/virus