Hi Jean I am back on line after paying $100. to get things fixed.I had to laugh when I read the attached and thougt of you.I really enjoyed talking to you.I have not heard from Kew yet .I have had a few messages bounced lately -one was mine to you but I probably covered that when talking to you. I will get to work now. love gerry ----- Original Message ----- From: <ian.phillips@ukonline.co.uk> To: <sct-isleofmull@rootsweb.com> Sent: Friday, January 12, 2007 1:38 AM Subject: [SCT-ISLEOFMULL] A Wee Bit of Genealogy Humour! > Hi, > > Just received this from the Argyll list which I thought might give you a > some help in trying to locate those illusive relatives. I'm sure each of > us > could add at least one more line to the following :- > > > It is New Year's Eve 1852 and John Smith sits at his desk by candlelight. > He dips his quill pen in ink and begins to writes his New Year's > resolutions. > > > > 1.No man is truly well-educated unless he learns to spell his name at > least three different ways within the same document. I resolve to give > the > appearance of being extremely well-educated in the coming year. > > 2. I resolve to see to it that all of my children will have the same > names > that my ancestors have used for six generations in a row. > > 3. My age is no one's business but my own. I hereby resolve to never list > the same age or birth year twice on any document. > > 4. I resolve to have each of my children baptized in a different > church -- > either in a different faith or in a different parish. Every third child > will not be baptized at all or will be baptized by an itinerant minister > who keeps no records. > > 5. I resolve to move to a new town, new county, or new state at least > once > every 10 years -- just before those pesky enumerators come around asking > silly questions. > > 6. I will make every attempt to reside in counties and towns where no > vital records are maintained or where the courthouse burns down every few > years. > > 7. I resolve to join an obscure religious cult that does not believe in > record keeping or in participating in military service. > > 8. When the tax collector comes to my door, I'll loan him my pen, which > has been dipped in rapidly fading blue ink. > > 9. I resolve that if my beloved wife Mary should die, I will marry > another > Mary. > > 10. I resolve not to make a will. Who needs to spend money on a lawyer. > > 11. I resolve to not clutter up the good farm pasture's with headstones, > that will just get broken or fade with time anyway. > > 12. I resolve to protect my family and friends privacy, by giving false > names and places for events. > > 13. I resolve to never give the correct accounts of miss deeds in the > family, so when Uncle Lem shot that guy and was tried for murder, my kids > will be told he stole a cow. > > 14. I resolve to never trim the family cemetery of brush and tangle > weed,to keep out any one doing that silly Genealogical work. > > 15. I resolve to always alternate my kids and wifes first and middle names > when the census taker comes around, just to give him practice with his > spelling. > > 16 I resolve to come from Ireland (where there are no records or if there > are they can only be examined by visiting the exact village, pleading with > the local clergy (who is hostile to anyone not of his belief which of > course you are) and/or handing over a fee equal to or exceeding your > yearly income for one hour's research which may not find anything.) > > 17. I resolve that not only shall I NOT die in my country of birth but > that > nor shall my children (yea verily) unto the sixth generation. > > 18. I resolve that I shall call my children by odd names which the > enumerator shall spell incorrectly. > > 19. I resolve that I shall be absent on the night of the census. > > 20. I resolve that if unable to be absent on census night I shall endeavor > to be enumerated twice. > > 21. I resolve that when I die my children/wife are instructed to give the > wrong details for my death certificate. > > 22. I resolve that I and most of my family shall die suddenly just before > death certification is brought in, in a parish where easy access to the > records ceases the previous year. > > > -------------------------------------------------------------------- > mail2web - Check your email from the web at > http://mail2web.com/ . > > > > > ------------------------------- > To unsubscribe from the list, please send an email to > SCT-ISLEOFMULL-request@rootsweb.com with the word 'unsubscribe' without > the quotes in the subject and the body of the message