Hi,Susan, You wouldn't happen to have a SLOWEY in your NI line, would you?  This is the line that my brother and I have been searching for for over ten years.  Our approaches have been polite, but most of them have been ignored; a couple of replies have been hostile.  We've approached people about other national lines (in Germany, France, England, and Spain) and usually we've at least had polite responses.  NI seems to be an entity in and of itself. Carol ________________________________ From: SUSAN BR <susanbrown7777@sympatico.ca> To: scotch-irish@rootsweb.com Sent: Monday, December 12, 2011 6:28 AM Subject: Re: [S-I] Thoughts on replying to an American/ Canadian/ Australian/ New Zealand/ Argentinian/ South African/ Englih/ Scots/ letter Linde I want to respond to this email with my perspective on some things I've found while visiting NI. Let me begin by thanking you for taking the time at such a busy time of year to explain your original email clearer.  I too didn't completed understand what you were trying to convey so again thank you for this clarification. We are all guilty of opening emails, putting them aside for later, and totally forgetting to respond.  These days we are all too busy it seems but of course we don't do it intentionally at all. As a Canadian who spends a lot of time in the US and having been in Ireland a couple of times I know what you are saying about the Scots-Irish.  I've observed that people over there, and for their own reasons as you suggest, are more reluctant to open up to complete strangers.  We are in their territory and they're extremely protective of their territory.  In Canada and the US we tend to be more open with complete strangers but to a safe level and comfort zone.  My experience with people in NI is that they are very very aware of their neighbours religion which I find very fascinating.  I can honestly say I don't have a clue what religion my neighbours are unless they tell me nor am I really interested in knowing.  And again, it is for obvious reasons over the years to know who you feel safe with and who you don't feel safe with I'm sure.  History definitely dictates who we become and how we feel about things. The researchers I've had the pleasure of meeting are ALL extremely helpful and more than willing to drive you around all over to help you find your ancestors properties But they aren't prepared to go to their door for you.  We Canadians and Americans would do it after traveling so far with no hesitation.  When you do knock on a strangers door they aren't always willing and receptive so people need to be prepared for that and tread lightly.  I've run into this a few times. As for DNA, you've answered a question I've had.  Over the years I've been perplexed at the unwillingness of a male in Co. Antrim who could really answer a lot of questions if we could just get his DNA but he absolutely is unwilling to participate. I've corresponded with the family a number of times, even had them over for tea while staying there but nope, he is not interested.  Maybe with more advertising over there locally it might give more insight to the advantages of doing DNA.  Here in US and Canada I know a lot of people who are thrilled with DNA results and comparing these results on familytreedna.  Having said that, people over there are quite settled in their world and just are not interested or maybe there's a safety factor involved for them too. You mention your personal connection to genealogy.  I too feel exactly the same way.  I've had the pleasure and luck of getting back to 1560 with my McCaw lineage and back even further to Isle of Bute with the expertise of many researchers from Co. Antrim.  It is my goal to give that same gift to as many as I can now and it's in my blood too, I love it.   Over the years doing Loyalist research in Canada, mostly from Co. Antrim I've identified peoples ancestors just by surname association from headstones I've seen over there.  The inter-connection you refer to over there, I see here too.  People travelled and settled with their neighbours which can be found on ships lists, land registrations and cemetery lists over here.   I encourage people to try to get over to Northern Ireland if they can.  There's no feeling in this world like the feeling of stepping on the same ground your gr gr gr grandparents living on.  It is a very unusual feeling and I can't wait to do it again. People might be interested in looking into this event too.  It is well worth the money.   http://nalil.blogspot.com/2009/04/route-back-home-ballymoney-2010.html  Take time to look at the files on this blog too.  They do a great job. Linda Merle keep up the great work here,  Susan    > From: jglunney@eircom.net > Date: Mon, 12 Dec 2011 10:01:58 +0000 > To: scotch-irish@rootsweb.com > Subject: Re: [S-I] Thoughts on replying to an American/ Canadian/ Australian/ New Zealand/ Argentinian/ South African/ Englih/ Scots/ letter > > I've had a couple of emails about this message which have made me > think that in trying to be amusing, I didn't manage to strike the > notes I meant to. I wanted to say to descendants that if they don't > always get a reply to an initial contact, there might be several > reasons why, and to point out that things might look different from > this side of the Atlantic > > 1. Sometimes the recipient of your letter might mean to reply, but > things just make it difficult, and once you don't reply to a message > for a few weeks then it gets embarrassing to pick it up again > > 2. After years of research, you might well feel that you have > established kinship with the folk in Ireland, that you already know > them, but your letter comes out of the blue to them; they don't know > anything at all about you, and if it is hard for you to imagine their > lives in co. Antrim, so different from yours in Arizona, it is > equally hard for them to imagine you. People in Ulster might well > feel reluctant to write a letter which might have to discuss > potentially upsetting topics like illegitimacy, money, land, to > someone they don't know in the slightest > > 3. When all is said and done, most people in Ulster don't know that > much about distant ancestors; most people in rural areas know a lot > about recent connections, say back to their great grandparents and > may know generally who was related to their family within the last 50 > or 60 years, but before that, there is in general very little exact > knowledge. People in the towns, may often know less than people on > farms. And thus they don't want to have to write back and disappoint > someone, who is keen to know about people who left 200 years ago. > they might not want to have to write a letter saying, "no, sorry, I > don't know anything" when they instinctively know how disappointing > that will be for the recipient > > 4. Mention of DNA links might be a bit offputting for many people in > Ireland; almost no-one understands it or wants to get tangled with > it. If they have heard of DNA at all, it would be in connection with > crime investigations and paternity cases. Much better not to mention > DNA in a first approach. > > 5. I failed especially badly to get my message across in the > section where I was talking about the kind of "Oirish-American" lingo > which is a turn-off for many people in Northern Ireland (for obvious > political and historical reasons; and of course I realize that the > group who read and write Scotch-Irish Rootsweb postings wouldn't make > such an egregious mistake as to use such language in writing to > Ulster relatives!), and so I want to make it clearer to you all that > many people in Ulster very often do feel very strongly the connection > with a place and with a lineage. I personally hope that what I have > been doing in genealogy on the internet will help others make that > connection for themselves. This is something which is a vital part of > my heritage, and I realize how lucky I am that I do know who I am and > where I came from. Knowledge of ancestral places is a wonderful > personal strength for me; everyone who wants to, should be able to > find that knowledge of who and where. I would suggest to everyone > that even if you can't make direct contact with distant kin relatives > in Ireland, that it can be almost as satisfying to make contact with > the place itself; to see the same horizon that your ancestors saw. > And also to make contact with descendants of other families from > there, that your ancestor would have known. People interested in > Ulster Scots ancestry should be aware of how inter-connected all the > families in a given area of several townlands would have been; if not > related, everyone in a five mile radius would have been known. It can > be immensely satisfying to make contact with people whose ancestors > were from the same area. > > 6. And finally to say; don't take it personally! there might be > reasons why they didn't reply. If your initial contact doesn't get a > response, wait a while and try again, maybe with a Christmas card, or > a postcard from your hometown. And make sure it too has your return > address; I really have heard of several enthusiastic "American > letters" which didn't have return addresses on the letter itself > > I hope this clarifies what I was saying in my post of a week ago; I > hope no one has been offended. > > Linde L > > ------------------------------- > To unsubscribe from the list, please send an email to SCOTCH-IRISH-request@rootsweb.com with the word 'unsubscribe' without the quotes in the subject and the body of the message                         ------------------------------- To unsubscribe from the list, please send an email to SCOTCH-IRISH-request@rootsweb.com with the word 'unsubscribe' without the quotes in the subject and the body of the message