Mildred Thank you for sharing this beautiful love letter. Even though I enjoyed reading this letter, I feel as if I invaded their privacy by reading it. I could have been written by any of a million men that was in service to his county, during any war, and facing death each day. I know Sarah must have cherished this letter to her death. My husband has been dead for 18 years, I still have ever letter he wrote me during the time he served our county. Doris ----- Original Message ----- From: "Mildred Venitucci" <emvee@kingwoodcable.com> To: <SCMARION-L@rootsweb.com> Sent: Tuesday, July 24, 2001 1:59 PM Subject: [SCMARION-L] The Sullivan Ballou Letter > This came from a friend, and I wanted to share it. Mildred > > The Sullivan Ballou Letter > ------------------------------------------------------------------------ > > > My very dear Sarah: > > The indications are very strong that we will move in a few days - > perhaps tomorrow. Lest I should not be able to write you again, I feel > impelled to write a few lines that may fall under your eye when I shall be > no more. > > Our movement may be one of a few days duration and full of pleasure - > or it may be one of sever conflict and death to me. Not my will, but thine, > O God, be done. If it is necessary that I should fall on the battlefield for > my country, I am ready. I have no misgivings about, or lack of confidence > in, the cause in which I am engaged, and my courage does not halt or falter. > I know how strongly American Civilization now leans upon the triumph of the > government, and how great a debt we owe to those who went before us through > the blood and suffering of the Revolution. And I am willing - perfectly > willing - to lay down all my joys in this life to help maintain this > government, and to pay that debt. > > But, my dear wife, when I know that with my own joys I lay down nearly > all of yours, and replace them in this life with cares and sorrows - when, > after having eaten for long years the bitter fruit of orphanage myself, I > must offer it as their only sustenance to my dear little children - is it > weak or dishonorable, while the banner of my purpose floats calmly and > proudly in the breeze, that my unbounded love for you, my darling wife and > children, should struggle in fierce, though useless, contest with my love of > country? > > I cannot describe to you my feelings on this calm summer night, when > two thousand men are sleeping around me, many of them enjoying > the last, perhaps, before that of death - and I, suspicious that Death is > creeping behind me with his fatal dart, am communing with God, my country, > and thee. > > I have sought most closely and diligently, and often in my breast, for > a wrong motive in thus hazarding the happiness of those I loved, and I could > not find one. A pure love of my country and the principles I have often > advocated before the people and "the name of honor that I love more than I > fear death" have called upon me, and I have obeyed. > > Sarah, my love for you is deathless, it seems to bind me to you with > mighty cables that nothing but Omnipotence could break; and yet my love of > Country comes over me like a strong wind and bears me irresistibly on, with > all these chains, to the battlefield. > > The memories of the blissful moments I have spent with you come > creeping over me, and I feel most gratified to God and to you that I have > enjoyed them so long. And hard for me it is to give them up and burn to > ashes the hopes of future years when, God willing, we might still have lived > and loved together, and seen our sons grow up to honorable manhood around > us. I have, I know, but few and small claims upon Divine Providence, but > something whispers to me - perhaps it is the wafted prayer of my little > Edgar - that I shall return to my loved ones unharmed. If I do not, my dear > Sarah, never forget how much I love you, and when my last breath escapes me > on the battlefield, it will whisper your name. > > Forgive my many faults, and the many pains I have caused you. How > thoughtless and foolish I have often times been! How gladly would I wash out > with my tears every little spot upon your happiness, and struggle with all > the misfortune of this world, to shield you and my children from harm. But I > cannot. I must watch you from the spirit land and hover near you, while you > buffet the storms with your precious little freight, and wait with sad > patience till we meet to part no more. > > But, O Sarah! If the dead can come back to this earth and flit unseen > around those they loved, I shall always be near you; in the garish day and > in the darkest night - amidst your happiest scenes and gloomiest hours - > always, always; and if there be a soft breeze upon your cheek, it shall be > my breath; or the cool air fans your throbbing temple, it shall be my spirit > passing by. > > Sarah, do not mourn me dead; think I am gone and wait for thee, for we > shall meet again. > > As for my little boys, they will grow as I have done, and never know a > father's love and care. Little Willie is too young to remember me long, and > my blue-eyed Edgar will keep my frolics with him among the dimmest memories > of his childhood. Sarah, I have unlimited confidence in your maternal care > and your development of their characters. Tell our mothers I call God's > blessing upon them. > > O Sarah, I wait for you there! Come to me, and lead thither my > children. > - Sullivan > > ------------------------------------------------------------------------ > Major Sullivan Ballou of the 2nd Rhode Island Infantry was killed at the > first battle of Bull Run on the 21st of July, 1861. > > > > > ==== SCMARION Mailing List ==== > To search the SCMARION-L Archives: > http://searches.rootsweb.com/cgi-bin/listsearch.pl > Enter SCMARION >