I am aware of at least three folks who apparently are flaming each other. At least they are doing it privately and not on the list, for which I thank them. My suggestion to all is consider that email has no sound, no word inflections, no body language as does voice speech. It's real easy to misunderstand something as toe-stepping when really what had been said was in the spirit of constructive criticism. Everyone gets excited now and then. And no one is perfect. Sometimes certain words hit another person on a personal raw spot even tho no offense was meant. I also have sounded abrasive in some emails at times, which makes me more careful now because I have slowed down and I take the time to reread everything before hitting SEND. If we can view every message for the information it contains, not for what attitude or mood we preceive the sender was in when they were in front of their keyboard, much unnecessary stress can be avoided. We are exchanging data. There are bound to be discrepancies, but be pleased that others are turning loose of sometimes hard-fought for information. Log conflicts in your notes as such and move on. Pertaining to takers who refuse to share ... I got them in my family also. Instead of dumping your entire GEDCOM on an unknown person, learn to send out feelers. Exchange bits of data in the beginning if you are worried about maybe not receiving anythng back. I got a message this week which said: "I'm researching _______ surname. Send everything you got". For me that is an obvious good use of my delete button. There are soft answers that can be used .... such as: I don't agree (instead of : You numbskull ! ) Please (instead of : I want, send all ) My documentation is ... (instead of : You don't know what you're taking about). Bob Schimmel, listowner