How does a Quaker funeral differ from a regular Christian funeral? Do Friends allow dedications or eulogies for the departed or is it silent as they are during meeting? Would the dedication or eulogy be given by a "minister" or as in meeting, there is no "minister" and someone would just rise and begin speaking? Is there a timeframe for the length of a service, could they last 60 to 90 minutes or longer? Is there a timeframe for the actual burial? Early on many Quakers were buried in unmarked graves, so it seems they didn't want any type of recognition. Would this lack of recognition discipline prevent dedications and/or eulogies from being given? Could someone be disowned for giving one? Thank you, Robert Cooke

Hi Bob - this is an interesting question that Quakers never approved suitable guidelines for. The general rule was that funerals would be a meeting for worship that would minimize eulogizing. Those gathered would speak as they were led by the Spirit. Many members (particularly two of our current prominent ministers) remind us that the focus of worship is the transforming role of Christ Jesus, not building up of the deceased.  Having said that, however, printed journals sometimes mention that the writer attended a funeral and someone pointed out evidences of a spiritual faithfulness of the decedent. Ministers have historically shied away from autobiography while speaking, and funerals would have been the same.  My impression is that funerals had the same length as other meetings for worship - which would mean roughly 90-120 minutes in the 1700s, 60-90 minutes in the 1800s, and 60 minutes thereafter.  Most meetings appointed a funeral committee who had oversight of funerals. These committees occasionally would report to the MM, and on occasion they would complain of excesses that took place. There has always been a difference of opinion about departing from solemnity, and I would think that Friends with a solemnity concern would be more likely to be appointed to a funeral committee. Historically, the remains would be buried in the next available spot. In the mid-19th century, some Friends wanted to be buried with family members, which led to the current inefficient mode of burials that had resulted in the grave allotted not being wide enough for the casket (this happened about 25 years ago in Ohio YM). Just as a reminder, Friends call the area where remains are interred the "burial ground," sometimes the "grave yard." The word "cemetery" was brought into common use in the early 19th century as a place to re-inter remains of soldiers from the Revolution, so Quakers have avoided the use of that term.  Seth  ________________________________ From: Bob Cooke <cookerl3@aol.com> To: quaker-roots@rootsweb.com Sent: Thursday, May 23, 2013 8:23 PM Subject: [Q-R] Quaker Funerals How does a Quaker funeral differ from a regular Christian funeral? Do Friends allow dedications or eulogies for the departed or is it silent as they are during meeting? Would the dedication or eulogy be given by a "minister" or as in meeting, there is no "minister" and someone would just rise and begin speaking? Is there a timeframe for the length of a service, could they last 60 to 90 minutes or longer? Is there a timeframe for the actual burial? Early on many Quakers were buried in unmarked graves, so it seems they didn't want any type of recognition. Would this lack of recognition discipline prevent dedications and/or eulogies from being given? Could someone be disowned for giving one? Thank you, Robert Cooke