The same way everyone else does. As kids, my two siblings and I were dragged to a Presbyterian church. Now, one is Methodist, one Congregational and one belongs to an unprogrammed Friends meeting. My parents, disgusted with organized religion, eventually quit the Presbyterian church. (I seem to be following their insightful lead.) The Friends' original model was a family in which husband and wife were on the same page about religion -- the better to raise little Quaker children. Hence, the prohibition to marrying out. (Most other churches were the same way.) Working against that goal was the process of disownment. Erring members had to be disciplined. However, their relatives could not be disciplined for others' offenses, or for the mere fact of being relatives. So, we ended up with the checkboard you describe. Mark How could one family member retain ties to the Quaker community while a spouse or children are affiliated elsewhere?