Murphy's Law of Family History * The keeper of the vital records you need will just have been insulted by another genealogist. * Your great-grandfather's obituary states that he died, leaving no issue of record. * The town clerk you wrote in to in desperation, and finally convinced to give you the information you need, can't write legibly, and doesn't have a copying machine. * The ancient photograph of four relatives, one of whom is your progenitor, carries the names of only the other three. * Copies of old newspapers have holes which occur only on maiden names. * No one in your family tree ever did anything noteworthy, always rented property, was never sued, and was never named in wills. * You learned that great aunt Matilda's executor just sold her life's collection of family genealogy materials to a flea market dealer "somewhere in New York City." * Yours is the ONLY last name not found among the three billion in the world famous Mormon archives in Salt Lake City. * Ink fades and paper deteriorates at a rate inversely proportional to the value of the data record. * The critical link in your famly tree is named "Smith."