Is anyone else uneasy about assisting in searches for biological parents? I understand a person's desire to know where they came from, but in many cases these people do not want to be found. I know there are mediators involved, but ONLY if both parties adheres to the process. Seems an inappropriate use of our research skills. Greg

Hi Greg, I have apologized to the list owner and the list members once already for making the mistake of which Rootsweb mailing list/message board that the original query had been posted. Also, I apologized if my posts were inappropriate for this list. I am apologizing to you for making you uneasy with this type of search. However, I don't totally agree with you on your opinion of what most people want or don't want. I agree that many don't want to be found but I have found throughout my research in this that many do want to be found. Many birth mothers have contacted the adoption agency that handled the adoption and requested that if their birth child ever came searching to please forward any contact information. Many birth mothers/fathers register at adoption sites in search of their birth children. There have been many happy reunions this way. Also, circumstances are different for each situation. From the Non-Identifying information Wendy received, it is obvious that her birth mother had no other choice at the time. Certain circumstances is what forced her to give up her child. She made sure that Wendy had a name before giving her up and so she named her Kimberly. Again, from the information received, Barbara contacted the agency many times prior to the adoption to check on her daughter. Kimberly/Wendy even had a visit at her mother's home before leaving with her new family to her new home across the mountains. As for the mediator, I mentioned in an earlier message that I am going to mediate on the behalf of this family, and ONLY if it is agreeable by Wendy's birth family. A person does not have to be a CI to mediate in these situations. As for my opinion of inappropriate use of my research skills.......if anything, my research skills have changed and grown since I began helping Wendy with this type of research. I see nothing negative in any of it. Actually, I have come to the conclusion that I am going to continue on with this type of research. As soon as I am finished with this one, I will volunteer as soon as I see another query asking for help. I have enjoyed every moment that I have given Wendy throughout this and hope one day to be rewarded by a reunion between Wendy and her birth family. Dave Hutton ----- Original Message ----- From: "Greg" <gregnordlund@hotmail.com> To: <PSRoots-L@rootsweb.com> Sent: Thursday, May 15, 2003 7:20 PM Subject: [PSRoots] Adoption searches > Is anyone else uneasy about assisting in searches for biological > parents? I understand a person's desire to know where they came from, > but in many cases these people do not want to be found. I know there are > mediators involved, but ONLY if both parties adheres to the process. > > Seems an inappropriate use of our research skills. > > Greg >