Dear Luis B. (Prazer em falar consigo de novo). I understand perfectly what your wrote. I know some people that behave exactly as you described, nowadays (i'm talking about people in the 30's, not about old people). So, I understand they didn't want to talk about their dead family. But, shouldn't one be proud of his nationality? Most emigrants we are talking about (those who didn't like to talk about their roots), went to the States in the turn of the (19-20) century. "Nationality" was a very important issue in Europe. Millions died for it... Hmmm...! Probably THAT was the reason. :-) Luis K W Lisboa-Portugal ---------- > From: Luis Beal > > It wasn't just the emigrants, it was just the way they were back in those days. And not just portuguese but all other nacionalities too. For some reason when someone in a family died the rest of the family no longer talked about that person. It was as if they never existed. The "let the dead rest" or " "leave the dead alone" is something older people truly believed in. My grandmother, for example, was one of 16 kids and yet when we would ask her her siblings names she would only list 5, because she was too young when the others died and her parents never told her anything about them. As I have helped people research their families I have found a lot of that happened to them too. Another reason was if they no longer were friends with someone in the family they treated them as if they had died. I find that in spouses that separated or children who ran away from home because of an argument of some sort. When couples split or the father ran away, especially if the father was a ! > jerk, > then he was as good as dead, and neither the mother or the kids would talk about him ever again. > Go figure, I could never understand it myself but for our ancestors that was the way it was supposed to be. > Luis Beal >

Luis, Yes, one should be proud of his/her nationality. But also when people immigrate they worry about being treated differently because they don't talk or act like everyone else. The way many dealt with the situation, and are are still dealing with nowadays here in the US, was by either not talking about their roots or not speaking or teaching their native language to their children. This way when the kids grew up speaking like everyone else they were supposedly treated the same and had as many chances in life as all other kids. We see this with Mexican, Asians, Portuguese, and other nationalities. There is a fear of being treated like minorities. Being foreign myself I understand the feeling and need but I do not agree that hidding the origins or not teaching their children their native language helps. On the contrary, I believe that by teaching children a second language we are opening more doors and oportunities to them than trying to make them grow up like everyone else. B! ut that is just my opinion. On the other hand, these children who are now grown up, and their children, are usually very proud of their roots. I have met many women and men who told me they were portuguese, and silly me thinking that being portuguese meant you were born in portugal and spoke the language, and I find out that they are grand-children or great grand children of native portuguese people. Usually they do not speak the language, or if the do it is just a little bit and it is because they are interested and love the language and made an effort to learn. They are wonderful. So, what the portuguese immigrants lacked in pride their descendants more than make up for it. That is why we have so many wonderful people on this list. Luis Beal PS- E' verdade que nevou ai no fim de semana passado? Tinha um artigo ontem online que disse isso. Ta' aqui: http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20060130/sc_nm/environment_portugal_dc Luis K W <luis_k_w@clix.pt> wrote: Dear Luis B. (Prazer em falar consigo de novo). I understand perfectly what your wrote. I know some people that behave exactly as you described, nowadays (i'm talking about people in the 30's, not about old people). So, I understand they didn't want to talk about their dead family. But, shouldn't one be proud of his nationality? Most emigrants we are talking about (those who didn't like to talk about their roots), went to the States in the turn of the (19-20) century. "Nationality" was a very important issue in Europe. Millions died for it... Hmmm...! Probably THAT was the reason. :-) Luis K W Lisboa-Portugal ---------- > From: Luis Beal > > It wasn't just the emigrants, it was just the way they were back in those days. And not just portuguese but all other nacionalities too. For some reason when someone in a family died the rest of the family no longer talked about that person. It was as if they never existed. The "let the dead rest" or " "leave the dead alone" is something older people truly believed in. My grandmother, for example, was one of 16 kids and yet when we would ask her her siblings names she would only list 5, because she was too young when the others died and her parents never told her anything about them. As I have helped people research their families I have found a lot of that happened to them too. Another reason was if they no longer were friends with someone in the family they treated them as if they had died. I find that in spouses that separated or children who ran away from home because of an argument of some sort. When couples split or the father ran away, especially if the father was a ! > jerk, > then he was as good as dead, and neither the mother or the kids would talk about him ever again. > Go figure, I could never understand it myself but for our ancestors that was the way it was supposed to be. > Luis Beal > ============================== Search the US Census Collection. Over 140 million records added in the last 12 months. Largest online collection in the world. Learn more: http://www.ancestry.com/s13965/rd.ashx __________________________________________________ Do You Yahoo!? Tired of spam? Yahoo! Mail has the best spam protection around http://mail.yahoo.com