-----Original Message----- From: PMEDSON@aol.com [mailto:PMEDSON@aol.com] Sent: Saturday, June 04, 2005 11:09 PM To: PERKINS-L@rootsweb.com Subject: [PERKINS] JOKES AND THINGS PEDRO Pedro was trying to get into the U.S.legally through Immigration. The Officer said "Pedro, you have passed all the tests, except there is one more test. Unless you pass it you cannot enter the U.S." Pedro said, " I am ready." The officer said "Make a sentence using Yellow, Pink and Green." Pedro thought for a few minutes and said "Mister Officer, I am ready." The Officer said "Go ahead." Pedro said "The telephone goes green, green, green, and I pink it up,and say, 'Yellow, this is Pedro.'" Needless to say, Pedro now lives in a neighborhood near you. **************************** A LESSON FOR ALL EMPLOYEES WHO WORK WITH RUDE CUSTOMERS!!! Indeed, an award should go to the Virgin Airlines gate attendant in Sydney some months ago for being customer focused, while making her point, when confronted with a passenger who probably deserved to fly as cargo. A crowded Virgin flight was cancelled after Virgin's 767s had been withdrawn from service. A single attendant was re-booking a long line of inconvenienced travellers. Suddenly an angry passenger pushed his way to the desk. He slapped his ticket down on the counter and said, I HAVE to be on this flight and it HAS to be NOW". The attendant replied, "I'm sorry sir. I'll be happy to try to help you, but I've got to help these people first, and I'm sure we'll be able to work something out." The passenger was unimpressed. He asked loudly, so that the passengers behind him could hear, "DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHO I AM?" Without hesitating, the attendant smiled and grabbed her public address mike May I have your attention please, may I have your attention please," she began - her voice heard clearly throughout the terminal. We have a person at gate 14 who doesn't know who he is , If anyone can help him find his identity, please come to Gate 14h The folks behind him in line laughing hysterically. The man glared at the Virgin attendant, gritted his teeth and said, " F...You!" Without flinching, she smiled and said, "I'm sorry sir, but you'll have to get in line for that too." ********************* Little Grace was not the best student in parochial school. Usually she slept thru her classes. One day the Nun called on her while she was napping and asked, "Tell me Grace, who created the universe?" When Grace didn't stir, little Johnny, seated behind her, took a pencil and jabbed her in the rear. "God Almighty" shouted Grace The Nun said, "very good". Soon Grace fell back to sleep. A while later the Nun called on Grace and asked, "Who is our Lord and Saviour?" Little Johnny came to rescue and stuck her with his pencil. "Jesus Christ" shouted Grace. Very good said the Nun. Grace started to fall back to sleep when the Nun asked her a third question, "What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?" This time Grace was just awake enough to hear the question---and she knew what was coming from Johnny, so she jumped up and shouted, "If you stick that thing in me one more time, I'll break it in half!" The Nun fainted. ==== PERKINS Mailing List ==== Don't forget to tell the Perkins List about your HOME PAGE! A Connection might be made with the very next e-mail Have a Great PERKINS Day! ============================== Find your ancestors in the Birth, Marriage and Death Records. New content added every business day. Learn more: http://www.ancestry.com/s13964/rd.ashx This document is sent on behalf of Ames True Temper, Inc. ("AMES TRUE TEMPER") and is strictly confidential and intended solely for the addressee(s). Any views or opinions expressed within are those of the author, and do not necessarily represent those of AMES TRUE TEMPER. If you are not the intended recipient of this document you must: (i) not disclose, copy, or distribute its contents to any other person nor use its contents in any way; (ii) please contact AMES TRUE TEMPER immediately at (717) 730-2565 option 1, quoting the name of the sender and the addressee then delete it from your systems and records.