Judy, My 2 cents says its still worth a try to set her straight, it can happen.  I had a similar experience which turned out to be more of a disappointment for the other party when he came to realize I was right and he was wrong; he had a whole branch of a tree to change, while I never had it in my tree to start with.  It did take me several attempts and cited sources to make him realize he had the wrong parents for our mutual ggg grandparents (which was my brick wall that I thought he knocked down).    The only suggestion I have for you is 1) Be patient  2) Don't simply repeat your self, cause if they don't get it the 1st time they won't get the same thing the 2nd time. 3)  Do share facts that disprove their assumption  4) When all else fails, don't get frustrated just walk away.  Sometimes that's all you can do.   DO Please keep sharing, because anyone who follows you knows you are a careful researcher and your information is priceless.   --- On Mon, 11/29/10, J.A. Florian <[email protected]> wrote: From: J.A. Florian <[email protected]> Subject: Re: [PAWASHIN] regarding ornaments on the wrong tree To: "Cyclex" <[email protected]> Cc: [email protected] Date: Monday, November 29, 2010, 1:52 PM That's exactly how I felt nacs to hear from this lady.  After 30+ years I thought "Oh WOW, finally someone else knows this line!"  I was excited.  I thought I'd hear facts we were missing.  Just one generation back, we've been stuck-stuck for quite a while.  So I thought, as I always do, "I share-you share" just as I've done for years through phone calls, correspondence, emails, and when I was younger also in-person. But then....  what she was saying just didn't fit.  I couldn't shut off the logic my grandma enforced through our years of research.  When I first started helping her, I'd call her about every "So&So LANE" I found.... and she'd explain why So&So couldn't possibly fit our line.  "What was that date?" she'd ask.  She'd ask in such a way that after a while, I caught on to her point:  "Match dates carefully before calling me."  It wasn't that she didn't want me to bother her; instead, she had a keen mind, a quick mind, an analytical mind and she was re-enforcing that point with me.  She just wanted me to get the lesson, "Not every Lane is ours, even if he/she has the right first name." We had a DAR Application that Grandma semi-revered, yet also questioned.  It was the only "lead" we had to supposedly "our" Revolutionary Soldier, and she'd read & re-read it, write it out long-hand on tablet paper, comparing dates we knew to what the App said.  "Something isn't right," she'd conclude (time and again) and then, she'd re-write the names and dates to compare (again).  I had just gotten my first car and my first out-of-town trip was to Bedford Co PA to research that DAR App.  The hardest task I had was to tell her, "He isn't ours; it doesn't fit."  I knew what it would take to pass her "consistency" test of "facts" for dates; she knew I knew the lessons she'd taught.  So when I said, "Grandma, it can't be that soldier" it was disappointing but she just went on to ask new sets of questions. Though I never proved/disproved some items listed, some "clues" that might be true, I disproved the major facts:  That Rev Soldier & Son was not our John & son, and none of the siblings fit "our" family.  That man was someone's family--just not ours. The lesson of right line, right family, right parents, right siblings, right person, right date(s), right age(s), right spouse(s), right child(dren) with all dates explained is key to research.  Without those pieces lining up, you have no line or family -- just people's names without the most important thing:  relationship. I'm going to try again with this lady, but I don't hold much hope of changing her mind. Judy On Mon, Nov 29, 2010 at 11:40 AM, Cyclex <[email protected]> wrote: > And, yes, there are those who will even mistreat you if you have the right > doc'd info and refuse to budge without obtaining something different - just > because of their own impatience about the whole thing.  Such people serve > the purpose of hardening your skin. > Sometimes, they have to understand that true genealogy research is just > that - it just takes years, even decades or life times before you can find > something concrete to move to the next square on.  But, if you want to make > sure you have the right people, you have to be able to prove it.  Purpose? > Increases your patience with all kinds and everything else. > > Due to one small thing re: my particular birth line, it has taken > multi-years (I've actually forgotten how many!) to find the connections > back > (and it was from researching the maternal side!) to the generation of my > family in the Philadelphia area - but much of it is slowly getting on-line > now - even on-the ground-efforts did not pan out much where I finally found > who I was looking for - but sometimes that is all you can do - shore up > what > you have, get everything greatly organized, look at other branches, leaves, > re-sorting for more (any) clues .... and continue to wait for those gold > nuggets .... like relatives who are looking for the same thing that you > are! > Purpose?  Increased perseverence/determination and mission minded! > > Then you can join forces and keep searching together and sharing what you > find.  Teamwork toward the same goal can only help!  And WOW! some of the > interesting stories along the way .... > > Bottom line, its important to use common sense, learn from mistakes, and > only go by what can be proven - as false leads and false information only > and usually lead to dead ends. > > But even the dead ends can be filed under that and set aside as something > that is not worthy in the future and you can pass onto those who are > confused.  Veterans, unite!  After all, that is what experience is all > about > .... helping the newbies and those who are in need of correction along the > way.  Have a good one, ya all! > > Merry Christ-mas & God willing, Happy New Year! > nacs > > **** > Please visit http://www.chartiers.com/pages-new/pawashin.html for list > information, particularly the bottom of the page. > ------------------------------- > To unsubscribe from the list, please send an email to > [email protected] with the word 'unsubscribe' without the > quotes in the subject and the body of the message > -- -- WASHINGTON COUNTY PA WEBSITES::: http://freepages.misc.rootsweb.com/~florian/ Coordinator of the Washington County PAGenWeb: http://www.rootsweb.com/~pawashin/ **** Please visit http://www.chartiers.com/pages-new/pawashin.html for list information, particularly the bottom of the page. ------------------------------- To unsubscribe from the list, please send an email to [email protected] with the word 'unsubscribe' without the quotes in the subject and the body of the message