> A CONVERSATION > ``````````` > Moses -- "Excuse me, sir." > > God -- "Is that you again, Moses?" > > Moses -- "I'm afraid it is, sir." > > God --"What is it this time, Moses. More computer problems?" > > Moses -- "How did you guess?" > > God -- "I don't have to guess, Moses. Remember?" > > Moses -- "Oh, yeah. I forgot." > > God -- "Tell me what you want, Moses." > > Moses -- "But you already know. Remember?" > > God -- "Moses!" > > Moses -- "Sorry, sir." > > God -- "Well, go ahead, Moses. Spit it out!" > > Moses -- question, sir. You know those ten things you sent me." > > God -- "You mean the commandments, Moses?" > > Moses -- "That's it. I was wondering if they were important." > > God -- "What do you mean 'were important,' Moses? Of course, > they are important. Otherwise I wouldn't have sent them to you." > > Moses -- "Well, sorry, but I lost them. I could say the dog ate > them, but of course you would see right through that." > > God -- "What do you mean 'you lost them'! Are you trying to tell > me you didn't save them, Moses?" > > Moses -- "No, sir. I forgot." > > God -- "Well, my son always saves, Moses." > > Moses -- "Yeah, I know. You told me that before. I was going to, but > I forgot. I did send them to some people before I lost them though." > > God -- "And did you hear back from any of them?" > > Moses -- "You already know I did. > > God --"What about the one guy who said he never uses 'shalt not?' > > Moses -- "Can he change the words a little bit?" > > God -- "Yes, Moses. As long as he doesn't change the meaning." > > Moses -- "And what about the guy who thought your stance was a > little harsh and recommended calling them the Ten Suggestions or > letting people pick one or two to try for a while?" > > God -- "Moses, I'll act like I didn't hear that." > > Moses -- "I think that means,'no' Well, what about the guy who > said said I was scamming him?" > > God -- "I think that is spamming, Moses." > > Moses -- "Oh, yeah. I e-mailed him back and told him I don't even > eat that stuff and I have no idea how you can send it to someone > through a computer." > > God -- "And what he did say?" > > Moses -- "You know what he said. He used your name in vain. You > don't think he might have sent me one of those plagues and that's > the reason I lost those ten things, do you?" > > God -- "They're called viruses, Moses." > > Moses -- "Whatever! This computer stuff is just too much for me. > Can we just go back to those stone tablets? It was hard on my back > taking them out and reading them each day, but I never lost them." > > God -- "We'll do it the new way, Moses." > > Moses -- "I was afraid you would say that, sir." > > God -- "Moses, what did I tell you to do if you messed up?" > > Moses -- "You told me to hold up this rat and stretch it out > toward the computer." > > God -- "It's a mouse, Moses. Mouse! Mouse! And did you do that?" > > Moses -- "No, I decided to try the technical support first. After all > all, who knows more about this stuff than you and I really like your > hours. By the way, sir, did Noah have two of these mice on the ark?" > > God -- "No, Moses." > > Moses -- "One other thing. Why didn't you name them frogs instead > of mice, because didn't you tell me the thing they sit on is a pad?" > > God --"I didn't name them, Moses. Man did, and you can call yours a > beatnik if you want to." > > Moses -- "Oh, that explains it. Kind of like Adam, huh, sir? I bet > some woman told him to call it a mouse. After all, wasn't it a woman > who named one of the computers Apple?" > > God -- "Say goodnight, Moses." > > Moses -- "Wait a minute, sir. I am stretching out the mouse and it > seems to be working. Yes, a couple of the ten things have come back." > > God -- "Which ones are they, Moses?" > > Moses -- "Let's see. 'Thou shalt not steal from any grave an image' > and 'Thou shalt not uncover thy neighbor's wife.'" > > God -- "Turn the computer off, Moses. I'm sending you another set > of stone tablets. How does 'Same Day Air' sound?"