I have resisted the urge to write to the list about  this, since my cousin Sandra is quite able to defend herself and her actions.  I knew about the problem when it happened and though I miss her visible presence on the list, I knew she was there behind the scenes since the list was running smoothly even if we were missing her wonderful information for the moment.  I work with Sandra on the Chester County PaGenweb website and have the same problem with rudeness and the sense of entitlement, if that's the way to say it,  that she has, though for some reason, she gets more of it than I do.  I expect anyone who is a list administrator or website organizer gets the same thing.  It goes something like this: You get an email from someone that says something like - "Send me all of the information on ____ family".  Even though it states plainly that we don't do research for others, and there is a section of the website with a list of volunteers and the resources they have to work with, people just don't seem to read.  After explaining that we don't do research for others and that this is not our family so we don't have any information to share, a number of emails usually follow with the writer being sure we're hiding information.  Sometimes they say that we have to help because our name was on 'the list'.  When pressed, they can never seem to remember just what list they saw our name on.  I always ask nicely just where they found my name so I can correct the information, but to date, no one has ever been able to remember where they saw my name.  This exchange of emails usually goes on for several days and in the end is a huge waste of my time (and theirs since they aren't getting any information) and often ends up with a nasty email about me not being helpful. A few of these exchanges in the week can be really frustrating.  I do like to share information - that's what this is all about, but the accusations from these rude, and frankly kind of lazy and expecting others to do their work for them people is enough to make one want to retreat from any helping at all. I hope this helps some for those who haven't had to deal with this sort of situation. Now if you want to talk about Bakers or Flavilles or Cobourns or Scotts of Engels or Calhouns or any number of other of my families who came here starting in 1683, I'd be happy to help. Jane   http://www.hootowlhollow.com http://www.hootowlhollow.blogspot.com   --- On Fri, 12/18/09, [email protected] <[email protected]> wrote: From: [email protected] <[email protected]> Subject: Re: [PaOldC] Missing Sandra To: [email protected] Date: Friday, December 18, 2009, 2:28 PM I've restrained myself long enough and now feel the need to let loose.  Yes, I noticed that Sandra was gone. I thought she'd get mad if I asked about her status on the list.  Knowing about her health issues, I hesitated asking, because frankly, I don't need any more bad news in my life.  To the people saying less than excellent things about Sandra,------you're so very wrong!  Sandra is an excellent list admin, who knows the insides and outs about a place in another state, from where she lives.  Sandra has to be the absolute best list admin in the whole of RootsWeb.  Sandra has always gone out of her way for people, although the recipients of the new info usually didn't thank her for her work.  If I'm correct, Sandra told someone to Google their name.  Well, if that's bad advice, then I'm not sure what good advice would be!   Good for Sandra, as that's where I got a lot of my family history. Sandra---if you're listening---please come back!  We need you!  You're the best list admin!  To everyone else who has less desirable things to say----lay off! Lorraine -----Original Message----- From: Dora Smith <[email protected]> To: [email protected]; [email protected] Sent: Thu, Dec 17, 2009 8:10 pm Subject: Re: [PaOldC] Missing Sandra Folks, with considerable respect, something is up with Sandra.   I don't hink her request was appropriate.   If this person did not get help, she ad owed no thanks.   No ifs, ands or buts about it.  Whether she should ave gotten help is a completely different matter.    As to whether she hould have blown up at being told only to go google it, I've blown up at hat sort of an attitude myself, many a time. Now, it sounds like Sandra is off dealing with whatever is up with her, and wish her the best of luck.   It isn't like her to be inappropriate with eople, and probably she snapped at that person out of whatever stress or llness she is suffering from.   The lot of you can't speak as well of ourselves. Now.  I got out of the hospital yesterday.   I'm getting over a ruptured ppendix.  I'm so exhausted my eyes won't stay open.   I am DELETING this ntire discussion! It shows considerable restraint on Sandra's part that she HASN'T said nything! Yours, ora Smith ustin, TX [email protected] ----- Original Message ----- rom: <[email protected]> o: <[email protected]> ent: Tuesday, December 15, 2009 2:44 PM ubject: [PaOldC] Missing Sandra I'm sorry that a simple request for a common courtesy offended this list member. Sandra has always managed the list with a wonderful degree of expertise and patience and helpfulness not found on other genealogical sites. We learn from her dedication and administrative talents, and if we need to be brought into line with a stronger rein, then, for the good of everyone participating, we need to respect her guidance. This list has had LOTS of activity which Sandra handled beautifully, sharing unselfishly her huge wealth of resources. It apparently took only one bad apple to change its character. Thanks, Sandra, and God bless. We miss your contributions and will look forward to your improved health and quick return in 2010. Frances ------------------------------- To unsubscribe from the list, please send an email to [email protected] with the word 'unsubscribe' without the quotes in the subject and the body of the message ------------------------------ o unsubscribe from the list, please send an email to [email protected] ith the word 'unsubscribe' without the quotes in the subject and the body of he message ------------------------------- To unsubscribe from the list, please send an email to [email protected] with the word 'unsubscribe' without the quotes in the subject and the body of the message