ITEMS OF INTEREST Gathered from the Four Corners of the County Personal and Social Mention --------------- A Jewelry Store to Be Opened In Beaverton --- Mr. Watts and His Extracted Beef -- Notes to Suit the Times --------------- H. C. WATTS will have the name of the party published who stole his salt beef unless the guilty one settles for it at once. His name will appear in our next issue unless a settlement is made beforehand. We admire the unmitigated gall of a man who squanders national bank funds among the "400" of Canada, but may the devil fly away with a reprobate who robs Beaverton pork barrels and hen roosts and then eats it all himself without offering us a bite to "keep mum." We'll hang his name upon the church steeple with our dirty socks to bleach out under the scorching rays of the bleak November sun, emblozon it (the name) in letters of "brass" to make the angels weep, put it in a can on a dog's tail, and wind up the entertainment by publishing his name to the four corners of the globe and then bury it in oblivion and rotten carion to preserve it (the carion) from the crows -- that is, if he doesn't divvy up next time. Friend WEATHERRED, the man at the county courthouse who writes down and keeps on the interior track of the records of our reputable people, sent us word on the back of a piece of spring poetry -- using a postage stamp paid for by our overburdened taxable citizens -- to get up something funny to correspond withthe weather or otherwise. We take it otherwise, as the weather is so far out of sight that even the prophets are nonplussed. However, worthy recorder of deeds good and evil, we think we can safely and real-estate (?) that it will be the "propah capah" for you to disrobe and prepare to be in the swim about the next issue. In the meantime, THE CHRONICLE'S "Dennis Mud" will proceed to set the machinery of his think factory in motion. A bevy of young ladies and gentlemen assembled at the residence of Mr. and Mrs. W. H. BEHARRELL at Progress on Thursday evening last as the guests of Miss Ethel BEHARRELL. The young folks had a splendid time, due to the fact that the hostess made a charming entertainer. The following were in attendance: Misses Ethel (paper has been taped together here but will try to decipher) BEHARRELL, Maggie TITUS(?), Ida FRANCIS, Lillie STEPHENS, Jessie STEPHENS, Allie KELLEY (of Beaverton), Ethel GRAVES, May KINGLEY, and Clara BROWN, Messrs. Will BEHARRELL, Robert STEPHENS, Robert BROWN, George PLAVER, Hubert KINGLEY, John GRAVES, and George and Fred DAVIES and Otis KELLEY of Beaverton. On March 30th the nine-year-old son of Alvis GASSNER, while climbing about on the loft of the schoolhouse woodshed, fell to the ground a distance of eight feet, fracturing the bone of the right thigh at the junction of the upper with the middle third. Drs. ROBINSON and PARENT reduced the fracture and the patient is as comfortable as possible under the circumstances. We mailed all correspondents envelopes, paper and stamps this week. When the material is used up please notify us and we will send you more. New correspondents from any locality will be accepted. Do not forget the ten-dollar gold-piece we offer to the one who proves the best and most faithful correspondent. H. UNTERNAHRER, the popular jeweler of Hillsboro, carries a complete line of solid and plated jewelry, diamonds, clocks, watches,optical goods, etc., and his prices are lower than in Portland. Orders sent to him will be attended to with complete satisfaction. Mr. UNTERNAHRER is making arrangements to open a branch jewelry store in Beaverton. Prof. HUBBELL needs all the sidewalk these days. A young lady arrived on an eighteen or twenty years' visit at his home on the 22d ult. The mother is doing well, while the little stranger must be healthy, judging from the fact that it brought a powerful pair of lungs into existence. The tail end of March looked like it had just escaped from the clutches of its mother-in-law. It dashed out like a roaring mad bull and was born up to its neck in water. Miss Alice DOWNING, who has been visiting her mother and brother in Beaverton, returned to Dayton, Yamhill county on Monday, to resume charge of her school near that place. Rev. A. R. OLDS of Tualatin is expected to preach in the Congregational church Sunday morning at 11 o'clock and in the evening at 7:30. Mrs. J. W. STINGLE of Portland arrived in Beaverton Monday and returned the following day. Mrs. WARREN died at Scholl's Ferry last Sunday morning and was buried Monday. ------------------------------------------- More colorful news next time. Barbara Cady cady978@aol.com