Ok all you Okie-Rooters you asked for it, so here it is. Enjoy Bill Walsh **************************************************************************** -----Original Message----- From: Victoria Cheney <cheney@mail.utexas.edu> To: QUAKER-ROOTS@rootsweb.com <QUAKER-ROOTS@rootsweb.com> Date: Tuesday, September 15, 1998 9:07 PM Subject: Humor: old-time census >[The following humor item was forwarded by an internet genealogy friend.] > > I bought an old book dated 1888 by Artemus Ward. It was about > his adventurous journey across the United States with his > travelling show. One chapter is on taking the Federal Census. > Read on.... > > The Sences taker in our town bein taken sick, he deppertised > me to go out for him one day, and as he was too ill to giv me > informashun how to perceed, I was consekently compelled to go > it blind > > Sittin down by the road side I drawd up the follerin list of > questions which I proposed to ax the peple I visited: > > - Wat's your age? > > - Whar was you barn? > How many parents have you? > Hav you a twin brother several years older than yourself? > How many chickins hav you, on foot and in shell? > > - Air you marrid, and if so how do you like it? > How many children hav you, and do they sufficiently > resemble you as to proclood the possibility of their > belongin to any of your nabers? > > - Did you ever hav the measels, and if so how many? > Air you trubeld with biles? > State whether you air blind, deaf, idiotic or got the > heaves. > > - Do you read Watt's Hims regler? > Do you use boughten tobacker? > Wat's your fightin wate? > Is Beans a regler article of diet in your family? > > - Air you aware that Indianny whisky is used in New York? > Was you ever at Niagry Falls? Was you ever in the > Penitentiary? > > Well, I got into a row at the first house I stopt to with some > old maids. Disbeliven the answers they giv regardin their ages, > I endevered to open their mouths and look at their teeth, same as > they do with hosses, but they floo into a vilent rage and tackled > me with brooms and sich. All goes to show that takin the sences > requires experiunse, like any other bizniss > > > > > > > >==== QUAKER-ROOTS Mailing List ==== >Visit The Quaker Corner - http://www.rootsweb.com/~quakers > > > >