This is a hoot and so true. > Subject: Fw: (Fwd) Bogus emails > > > I was on my way to the post office to pick up my case of free M&M's > > (sent to me because I forwarded an e-mail to five other people, > > celebrating the fact that the year 2000 is "MM" in Roman numerals), > > when I ran into a friend whose neighbor, a young man, was home > > recovering from having been served a rat in his bucket of Kentucky > > Fried Chicken (which is predictable, since as everyone knows, > > there's no actual chicken in Kentucky Fried Chicken, which is why > > the government made them change their name to KFC). Anyway, one day > > this guy went to sleep and when he awoke he was in his bathtub and > > it was full of ice and he was sore all over and when he got out of > > the tub he realized that HIS KIDNEY HAD BEEN STOLEN. He saw a note > > on his mirror that said "Call 911!" but he was afraid to use his > > phone because it was connected to his computer, and there was a > > virus on his computer that would destroy his hard drive if he opened > > an e-mail entitled "Join the crew!" He knew it wasn't a hoax because > > he himself was a computer programmer who was working on software to > > prevent a global disaster in which all the computers get together > > and distribute the $250.00 Neiman-Marcus cookie recipe under the > > leadership of Bill Gates. (It's true - I read it all last week in a > > mass e-mail from BILL GATES HIMSELF, who was also promising me a > > free Disney World vacation and $5,000 if I would forward the e-mail > > to everyone I know.) The poor man then tried to call 911 from a pay > > phone to report his missing kidneys, but a voice on the line first > > asked him to press #90, which unwittingly gave the bandit full > > access to the phone line at the guy's expense. Then reaching into > > the coin-return slot he got jabbed with an HIV-infected needle > > around which was wrapped a note that said, "Welcome to the world of > > AIDS." Luckily he was only a few blocks from the hospital-the one > > where that little boy who is dying of cancer is, the one whose last > > wish is for everyone in the world to send him an e-mail and the > > American Cancer Society has agreed to pay him a nickel for every > > e-mail he receives. I sent him two e-mails and one of them was a > > bunch of X's and O's in the shape of an angel (if you get it and > > forward it to more than 10 people, you will have good luck but for > > 10 people only you will only have OK luck and if you send it to > > fewer than 10 people you will have BAD LUCK FOR SEVEN YEARS). So > > anyway the poor guy tried to drive himself to the hospital, but on > > the way he noticed another car driving without its lights on. To be > > helpful, he flashed his lights at him and was promptly shot as part > > of a gang initiation. Send THIS to all the friends who send you > > their mail and you will receive 4 green M&Ms-if you don't, the owner > > of Proctor and Gamble will report you to his Satanist friends and > > you will have more bad luck: you will get sick from the Sodium > > Laureth Sulfate in your shampoo, your spouse/mate will develop a > > skin rash from using the antiperspirant which clogs the pores > under your arms, and the U.S. government will put a tax on your > e-mails > forever. > I know this is all true 'cause I read it on the > Internet. (GO FIGURE!!!) > The next time you get an obviously bogus > e-mail, be sure to forward this > to the culprit. >