Replace the words as fitting for that place you know. I grew up, the first time, in NW Colorado and sometimes I still "warsh" my clothes. In the local bar you ordered a "Curs with" (Coors with a glass), 99% just ordered a "Curs". The only filling station in the next town upriver had a sign in the restroom that said "Flush the toilet, Craig needs the water". You had to drive 42 miles to get your braces on/adjusted/off. You could not have a white car, that was for the law. You have to leave class in high school to take your pet home, because your lamb did follow you to school and was sitting outside the class room calling you..Baaa..Baaa. Where you get in trouble with mom because you were shooting rabbits from the back yard. The kids in the neighborhood had a funeral for your pet bobcat, who's mother had been killed by a sheepherder you know. You made your money to buy a bike by docking sheep in the spring. This paid 25 cents a hour plus a great lunch of bologna on white bread, the fixins were spread out on one of the broken fence boards. The bologna was cut off the tube (call by a very discriptive name) with the cleanest docking knive. Where you enjoyed watching the city people eat the rocky mountian oysters and then, find out what they really were. Were your grandmother really had an ice box. Where Coke was any thing in a bottle or at the fountain in the only drug store. "You must be an IOWAN if...": > > > *You've never met any celebrities. > >> > > > > >> > > > *Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to > >> > > > pass a tractor on the > >> > > > highway. > >> > > > > >> > > > "Vacation" means driving through the Amanas, going > >> > > > to Adventureland or > >> > > > Okoboji. > >> > > > > >> > > > *You've seen all the biggest bands ten years after > >> > > > they were popular. > >> > > > > >> > > > *Snow tires are standard on your car. > >> > > > > >> > > > *You think Cookies BBQ Sauce is good. > >> > > > > >> > > > *You "go into town" > >> > > > > >> > > > *The local bar has Busch Light and Milwaukee's Best > >> > > > on Tap. > >> > > > > >> > > > *You have no concept of public transportation. > >> > > > > >> > > > *The only reason you go to Missouri is for fireworks > >> > > > > >> > > > *You wear shorts when it's 50 degrees out in March, > >> > > > but bundle up and > >> > > > complain in August when it goes below 60 degrees. > >> > > > > >> > > > *You have gone trick-or-treating in 2 feet of snow. > >> > > > > >> > > > *You "warsh" your clothes. > >> > > > > >> > > > *State Wresting was a big deal at your high school > >> > > > > >> > > > *You measure distance in minutes > >> > > > > >> > > > *Down south to you means Missouri > >> > > > > >> > > > *You know several people who have hit a deer > >> > > > > >> > > > *You were allowed to get a "school permit" to drive > >> > > > at age 14 if you lived > >> > > > more than a mile from school > >> > > > > >> > > > *You have no problem spelling or pronouncing "Des > >> > > > Moines" > >> > > > > >> > > > *You could play "Iowa Bingo" with county road names > >> > > > when traveling from town > >> > > > to town (C65, D15, P36, N19, etc.) > >> > > > > >> > > > *You know the answer to the question, "Is this > >> > > > Heaven?" > >> > > > > >> > > > *Your school classes were canceled because of cold > >> > > > > >> > > > *Your school classes were canceled because of heat > >> > > > > >> > > > *You know what "Hawks" and "Clones" are > >> > > > > >> > > > *You've ridden the school bus for an hour each way > >> > > > > >> > > > *You've ever had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" in > >> > > > the same day > >> > > > > >> > > > *You think ethanol makes your truck "run a lot > >> > > > better." > >> > > > > >> > > > *Stores don't have bags, they have sacks > >> > > > > >> > > > *You see people wear bib overalls at funerals. > >> > > > > >> > > > *You see a car running in the parking lot at the > >> > > > store with no one in it no > >> > > > matter what time of the year. > >> > > > > >> > > > *You end your sentences with an unnecessary > >> > > > preposition. Example: "Where's my > >> > > > coat at?" or "If you go to the mall I wanna go > >> > > > with." > >> > > > > >> > > > *All the festivals across the state are named after > >> > > > a fruit or vegetable > >> > > > > >> > > > *You can locate Iowa on the United States map > >> > > > > >> > > > *Your arrival somewhere has been delayed by a train. > >> > > > > >> > > > *Detassling was your first job > >> > > > > >> > > > *You've ever been on a "Snipe Hunt" > >> > > > > >> > > > *Your idea of a really great tenderloin is when the > >> > > > meat is twice as big as > >> > > > the bun and accompanied only by ketchup and a dill > >> > > > pickle slice > >> > > > > >> > > > *You learn your pickup will run without a muffler > >> > > > > >> > > > *You install security lights on your house and > >> > > > garage and leave both unlocked > >> > > > > >> > > > *You think of the major four food groups as beef, > >> > > > pork, beer, and Jell-O > >> > > > salad with marshmallows > >> > > > > >> > > > *You drink "pop." > >> > > > > >> > > > *When asked how your trip was to any foreign, exotic > >> > > > place, you say, "It was > >> > > > different." > >> > > > > >> > > > *Going to Target is your idea of FUN > >> > > > > >> > > > *Being a bit younger, you remember Terry Branstad as > >> > > > governor the whole time > >> > > > you were growing up. > >> > > > > >> > > > *You consider being called a "Pork Queen" an honor. > >> > > > > >> > > > *People from other states love to hear you say > >> > > > "Iowa" and other words with > >> > > > "Os" in them. > >> > > > > >> > > > *You carry jumper cables in your car. > >> > > > > >> > > > *You know what the numbers I-80, 280 and 380 mean > >> > > > > >> > > > *You know what "cow tipping" is > >> > > > > >> > > > *You've painted a cow prior to judging at the fair > >> > > > > >> > > > *Main Street is the only street > >> > > > > >> > > > *You skip church and by the end of the day receive get well > > cards > >> > > > > >> > > > *You write a counter check on the wrong bank; and they cover you for > >> > it. > >> > > > > >> > > > *You still know what a counter check is. > >> > > > > >> > > > *You give directions not by names of streets; rather by telling > >> > > > which big white house to turn at. > >> > > > > >> > > > *Main street is terraced. > >> > > > > >> > > > *Nobody asks you how you're doing because they already know. > >> > > > > >> > > > *You know the word "combine" is supposed to have the first > > syllable stressed. > >> > > > > >> > > > *At least once you've seen traincars full of grain derailed. > >> > > > > >> > > > *You've been to a pickup/tractor pull. > >> > > > > >> > > > *You know what a pickup/tractor pull is. > > > > > >