Saturday, April 17 Albert brought me home. It was a pleasant time for a ride. Did the upstairs. Washed, mended my light dress, finished my dark apron like my skirt. Called on Mrs. Whitington and on Mrs. Outwater, took some tea. Sunday, April 18 A beautiful day. Mother and Fanny rode with John Whitington, Father and self with A. Outwater. I was taken sick and could not stay in church. Went to the Water, saw 10 converts immersed. Cornelia Gifford was one. Way too sick to see the Methodists. At the Church there was 2 sprinkled and one poured and eight immersed. I took dinner at John B., then walked home. Monday, April 19 Mother went on a load of wood to Lockport. I washed the white clothes, finished Fanny's dress like Mother's. Wrote to Henry, Mother took it to town. Tuesday, April 20 Began Rachels dress, but by 9 A.M., was taken with a violent chill and I did not come out of the fever till 4 P.M. Had to send word to the girls that I was too sick to have a meeting. A verry bad day. Wednesday, April 21 Did not get up till 10 A.M. Sewed the rest of the day, but went to bed early. Thursday, April 22 I had a chill at 5 A.M., which lasted till 7 A.M., and fever and sat most of the day. Margaret Leaman and Mrs. Perry spent the afternoon with us. Martha Sheets and Eleanor O'Hara called. Friday, April 23 Pretty miserable. Made one sleave of Rachels dress and went to bed early, had Fitzer bring me a warm, flat, felt vey ill, lay awake most of the night. In earnest prayer that I might be reconciled to die, myself, I felt it would be far better. But poor Henry, just when he thinks I am his to be taken from him. I pray God to strengthen and bless all connected with me. Saturday, April 25 At one oclock P.M., the chill came on, at three, I called the boys, they light the fire and then with Mother, got me down stairs, I was very ill, sent for the Dr., he called it intermittent fever, with congestion of the bowels. I think I cannot stand many such days. Dear Father and Mother and Henry. May God support them. Elisa Fish called, it was quarterly meeting. Sunday, April 26 I slept with Mother, a poor night. Today, the fever is off, I sat up most of the day. 3 girls called and Mrs. Outwater, Mrs. Ransom, and Elisa Fish. Eleven where baptised at the school house. W. Sisson came here to dinner. Monday, April 27 I had but a slight chill, but such a fever, bad from midnight, but did not vomit this time. I told Mother I thought I was going to a better world than this, she think feared it. John McNitt staid the night and W. Bennet called. Henry has scarcely been out of my thoughts. Dear fellow, I trust he will get here before I die if that is the Lord's will that I should go now. Tuesday, April 28 I did not get up till seven, of course out of my stupor till then. Several called to see me. On the whole, I think I am better. Margaret was the only girl out this evening. She went away in tears, she thought I was going the way of all the earth. The Lord has been better to me than all my fears, and though I did not sleep much, I have had no chill, and but little fever. In the afternoon, I walked part way down the garden. I turned the heel of my stocking. Thursday, April 28 quite smart, so that Mother left me with Mrs. Perry and went to Lockport. Mrs. Peniel and Mr. Robb went to be married. By night, I was quite tired. Finished Rachels dress. It looks well. Friday, April 29 Not so well. Mrs. McNitt called. I made a few flowers but was nervous all day. Just as we where going to bed, some boys where on the veranda. Went to try and get the boys out. It was too much ecitement. I could not go to sleep for it. But at half past 12, I put in a few minutes, I was awake by the morning partly starting up before our door. I could not sleep the rest of the night. Saturday, May 1 A little better. I made a few flowers and walked down the garden. My mouth is still sore. My first thought this morning was the first of May is come, now I can took for Henry. Sunday, May 2 Sunday. I wrote to Henry to pass time for I love to write to him. I am a little better. If it was not for My Dear Parents and Henry, I could wish to Burst these bonds and fly away. To those bright and endless day, I try to commit my cares to God, but feel as though some thing unhappy waits for me. Monday, May 3 I got up quite early for me, made several flowers. Alice called and while she was here, a chill came on, it was about 6 P.M. and lasted with the fever till 1 A.M. Tuesday, May 4 5 A.M. I arose from the stupor and sat up the rest of the evening. Had a leter from Henry,who in the most sumnary manner bids me farewell, I wrote to him directly. I was calm but I wrote plain and with affection. Dear fellow, he still thinks how much, but he is throwing away, but I do not think he is engaged to another yet. Wednesday, May 5 I got up quite early wrote another sheet today. Fitzer took it to Olcott. In the evening I had a chill. The fever was very bad. I had slept but one hour the night before so was very tired. I have lade my burden before the Lord, and feel that he will guide me. Thursday, May 6 Lay in a stupor most of the day. At night the Dr. came and pronounced it typhoid. He left something to make me sleep. Many people call every day and show great interest. My mind is at ease. The Lord will guide me. If I only knew that Henry was directed, help him as he was once, I should be happy. Friday, May 7 The Dr. called and hoped I was better. I was in a fever then but it did not last so long, or my head will ache so badly as it has. My thoughts have been with my letter. I feel I have done write. I have prayed to be directed and I think I shall. Saturday, May 8 I was stupid most of the day. The Dr. thinks he has it upon the right course of medicine for me, but I cannot take any tonic. Dear Mother is almost worn down, I fear for her she looks badly. I hope my letter has reached Henry. If he is in a happy state of mind, I know he will feel differently towards me. I was notout of bed, in all today. Sunday, May 9 I kept to my bed all day. At night I had a chill but it was more of an in(?). A good many called to see me. My head was very painful. Mother did not rest much. Mr. Solviance called and enquired of the state of my mind. Monday, May 10 Mother washed. I lay quite still all day. Simeon tried to run away and take all his things, but was found out before he left the farm. I only sat up long enough to have my bed made. Tuesday, May 11 I was very sick most of the evening, the Dr. called and said I must keep on the Amonia. Mother was very sick, too, we both vomited a good deal. At night I got Fitzer to take me into the parlor and he lay on the floor. Wednesday, May 12 Lay in a stupor till 3 P.M., no appetite after that. I got up and changed my clothes and sat in the big chair afterwards. Mother is better, around today. I hope it is not chill fever she has. Thursday, May 13 I had another chill. When will the last be. I look forward with dread of a chill and with joy to. Saturday because then I hope Henry will be here. Friday, May 14 The Dr. came say he will change my medicin and try a t(?) with dobens powders. The boys are still hunting the cave. What will tomorrow bring. His Henry on the way, I hope I shall be free from a chill so as to give him a free greeting. Saturday, May 15 Lay in a stupor till 3 P.M., but thought when I could of Henry, then I got up. Though I feared a chill yet I wished to watch for him. I missed my chill the first time. Brother Henry came. Sunday, May 16 Henry and Fanny went with Father to Warren's. Fitzer went on foots. Philip to Charlotte. I had very bad pains in my limbs and could not lie down, they jumped so. Margaret Leamon called to see me. Henry went home in the afternoon. I felt as though I had done right by H.L.J. though he has done me very wrong. I trust he will be guided in all his ways. Monday, May 17 The boys in search of the cow. The ox very sick, a rainy day. I have a load on my mind that I cannot shake off. I have had no chill but I am in a good deal of pain. Tuesday, May 18 All the neighbors turned out to scour the woods for Duffy, the ox very sick. I had a letter from Henry L.J. in which he desires to be free. Of course I have no wish to hold a man to his promise when he wishes to be free. I love as clearly as ever the night I promised to love but Henry is so changed an he never would write to me as he does. I can hardly fancy he is the man I promised. May God not lay sin to his change for breaking a promise as we made. Wednesday, May 19 I felt badly but ran some pleat in Fitzer's shirt, also knit some. I slept upstairs for the first time with. Elsia Fish, Fanny taken with the hooping cough. Thursday, May 20 Sewed and knit on Fanny's stocking and finished the cloak of my own. Two girls called in the evening, they staid verry late. I can hardly realise that Henry has proved so faultless to his vows. It seems strange not to pray for him as the one in whoom I had the most trust in. Friday, May 21 Finished my own yarn, doubled some more, did not sew any. Cut out two peticoats. Made the 3 beds upstairs.