Evelyn, I'm like your daughter, I don't like to be hugged. My husband's sister is always hugging me when she comes to visit and I am very uncomfortable with this. I can't help it, it's the way I was raised, my Mom was not a hugger either. I remember one time going out to lunch at a restaurant with some cousins of my grandmother's. I was about 12 at the time. I reached out and touched one of these ladies on the arm and my grandmother immediately pulled my hand away saying, "We don't touch other people, it's not polite." This was NOT my Mother's mother, so I got it from both sides of the family. Both of these fine ladies came from a long line of restrained, stoic New England stock and hugging and touching just wasn't done. As for crying, my grandmother never really cried in my presence but, sometimes, when the subject of my grandfather was brought up she would shed a tear or two. My Mother did cry at my uncle's funeral and I was so embarrassed. I just can't help it. Ruth At 9:47 AM -0400 4/19/05, evelyn wrote: >My dear family of folks - > >Not everyone is comfortable with showing emotions even today. I know >because my second daughter is that way, and now that the subject has been >brought up, she's getting a hug when she gets home tonight. >I had done this when I first moved here and some how got away from this. I >remember giving her a hug many years ago (when she was an adult) and it was >like hugging a telephone pole. That can change, no that must change. > >You know where I learned about hugs and how healing they are? Alanon. That >was back in the late 1980s. I went there to understand my mom better as she >had married and lived with my dad (an alcoholic) until 1956. Eventually I >learned I really went there for myself and one thing was to learn about >"hugs". > >Thank you Leslie and Barbara for sharing such personal memories. Isn't it >wonderful what Vee is doing for us. > >Sending ((hugs )) out to each of you. > >Evelyn in sunny, Spring like Maine -- Ruth Barton mrgjb@sover.net Dummerston, VT