Hi Vee and Evelyn My mother's generation did not show affection the way we do today. As I became older and found people hugging more frequently I began to wonder why that was. My mother lived with us the last six months of her life. She loved to read and the night before she died she asked me to find a specific book for her. As I recall the name was "Laddie" written about 1917 I think. A few weeks later I sat down to read the book. In it Laddie was leaving by train for the army. He was so proud of his mother because she did not cry as he left. It spoke to me, making me realize that in that era keeping your emotions in check was a sign of self-control and maturity. Nevertheless, I certainly knew my mother and dad loved me. Recently my bother had some old movies_about 1935 I think_put on a DVD. Here are all the family in Pennsylvania shaking hands with us as we are leaving to go back to Niagara Falls. No hugging. (As my grandfather shook the hands of my brother and I there was always a fifty cent piece in his hand for us.) Well, times have changed for the better I think. My family, children, grandchildren and great grandchildren gets hugs and kisses from us as we receive hugs from them. It did take my husband awhile to start hugging his adult sons but it is comfortable now and warmly received by them. Barbara

Vee, Evelyn, Barbara, and All, The not crying "thing" is what got me. When I was 15, we had to put our much-loved, 18-year-old dog down. Mother loved the dog as much as I, but she had been taught that one should not cry in front of anyone else. I knew how much she loved him and could not figure out why she didn't care that he was dead. Years later, we discussed this difficult time. She then explained that she did cry, but that she did it all in private. When my father died, I saw only a few tears drip from Mother's eyes. By this time, I was in my late 30's, and I understood how she felt even though I saw so few tears. When I was in my late 40's, my only sibling (and her husband) were killed by a drunk driver. Once again, my mother held the "stiff upper lip". I understood, but I cried a lot. I am thankful that she had never succeeded in getting me to not show my feelings. In 2000, Mother and I found out that she would die of cancer. Early on, during the one month that we had left together, she said to me, "Please don't cry in front of me. If you do, I will start and not be able to quit." I told her that I would follow her wishes.... **after** I got to tell her how much I loved having her as my mother. I cried a lot during those few minutes while I was curled up in bed with her spewing out all about how much I loved her. Then, I put on the "stiff upper lip"...... for her sake. Although it was extremely difficult for me, I never cried around her for that one month. But, as soon as she had taken her last breath, I let loose big-time! Leslie (Bridges) Kohler

My dear family of folks - Not everyone is comfortable with showing emotions even today. I know because my second daughter is that way, and now that the subject has been brought up, she's getting a hug when she gets home tonight. I had done this when I first moved here and some how got away from this. I remember giving her a hug many years ago (when she was an adult) and it was like hugging a telephone pole. That can change, no that must change. You know where I learned about hugs and how healing they are? Alanon. That was back in the late 1980s. I went there to understand my mom better as she had married and lived with my dad (an alcoholic) until 1956. Eventually I learned I really went there for myself and one thing was to learn about "hugs". Thank you Leslie and Barbara for sharing such personal memories. Isn't it wonderful what Vee is doing for us. Sending ((hugs )) out to each of you. Evelyn in sunny, Spring like Maine