source: The Spirit of the Times, Batavia-NY March 28-1843 Genesee County Jail, March 27th, 1843. Mr. Seaver:--If you will permit me, through the medium of your paper, to make a few remarks to all those who may feel interested in the question of my sanity or insanity, I would feel very grateful for the favor--as it would be very satisfactory to my feelings to try to undeceive those who have imbibed erroneous conclusions respecting a derangement of my intellect. I hope all that will be necessary to undeceive them is for me to point out the cause of their mistake. I will first speak of the maniac laugh that some think they have observed in me. And as they are positively mistaken in that respect. It is as follows:--I have discovered in myself two very strong propensities, or feelings, that are diametrically opposite in their qualities to each other. Those propensities are a strong mirthfulness, and turns of excessive melancholy, which latter feeling has been caused by disappointed affection, and years of other troubles too numerous to mention at this time. And a person possessed of each opposite qualities in their extremes, would appear a strange being to many who happened to be differently constituted. As, for instance: when I happened to have the blues most horribly, if I saw or heard something that was very laughable, my mirthfulness would be suddenly excited, and I would commence to laugh very heartily, but instantly recollecting any troubles I would stop short, my countenance would suddenly fall, and immediately assume th! e expression of sorrow and despair; hence, I would appear to laugh, without being pleased. I could not be very pleased under such circumstances and enjoy a good laugh, my mirthfulness being active would make an attempt to kick up a frolic, but the blues being cock of the walk at that time (as the boys say) would jump on and put it down. Such kind of freaks of feeling, acted out, is what I suppose some have taken for crazy or maniac laughs. The rattle snake affair, and my being chained up to a tree was all a matter of sport on my part at the time it occurred notwithstanding Mr. Merrill and others that I was in company with might have thought me serious. Likewise the affair of making my fortune by converting a christian church [with all its deep rooted prejudices] to atheism, by means of a small pamphlet I had written and compiled [against the divine authenticity of the Bible, and advocating the doctrine of materialism] in order to have a certain piece of land revert back to me, that was formerly given to the Baptist Church in Waterville, Oneida County, N.Y. by Deacon White. This affair was all a matter of sport on my part; and I am quite a little surprised that Mr. Pendill should have taken me in earnest. The shingle factory affair, and my observing that it would be a good place for a man to cut off his own head, and of my jerking down the lever &c. was also said and done for sport on my part. And my conduct at the school district lyceum was in consequence of my feeling very much embarrassed about speaking at that time. I could go on very regular, as Mr. Beecher observed, until I read what I had previously prepared; but as soon as I had got through with that my feelings became very much embarrassed, in consequence of which I made very bad work in trying to advance my arguments. And so I might go through with every particular that was brought up in court to prove me insane; but I think that what I have already written on the subject is sufficient to convince any reasonable person that my intellect has never been deranged. I would here observe, that I was enable dot make my remarks in the court, at the time of receiving my sentence, without feeling embarrassed, partly by preparing my feelings for that purpose throughout the whole course of the trial, and partly from being inspired with the importance of my situation. Respectfully &c. BENJAMIN D. WHITE. * submitted by Linda Web-Page Editor~BETHANY: Its Past and Present ~ http://www.arkwebshost.com/family/bluebird/TownOfBethany.shtml