I haven't noticed the naming pattern on my German side but on my Irish side it was first son after the Grand father on father's side, second son after mother's father. side with the girls. My grandfather named his sons for 2 of his brothers William and Julius. The middle son wasn't named for his oldest brother Carl. On 1/19/10, Bob <rwurtz114660mi@comcast.net> wrote: > It was a common pracdtice, at least in Germany, to name the first som after > the father. I am the first since at least 1600's to not be named George. > > bob > > ----- Original Message ----- > From: "Jann Parks" <townefabric@ispmgt.com> > To: <nyerie@rootsweb.com> > Sent: Tuesday, January 19, 2010 8:32 AM > Subject: Re: [NYERIE] our ancestors > > >> These Johns had different mothers also. I found a relative who named >> all her daughter first name as Mary and then a different middle name. >> They were call the middle name at home but not on offical papers. >> About 5 of them, That is funny also. >> >> On 1/19/10, amzgrace <amzgrace@comcast.net> wrote: >>> In a similar vein, my great-great grandfather was married twice. He >>> named a >>> son Ezra who died at age 10 then when he married wife #2, he named >>> another >>> son Ezra. Until I figured out how young the first one died, it was >>> rather >>> confusing. >>> >>> >>> ----- Original Message ----- >>> From: "Jann Parks" <townefabric@ispmgt.com> >>> To: <nyerie@rootsweb.com> >>> Sent: Monday, January 18, 2010 11:06 AM >>> Subject: Re: [NYERIE] our ancestors >>> >>> >>>> My 2great grandfather was John Putney, He had a son John Putney, my >>>> great grandfather. He had 2 sons first and last named John Putney. Tht >>>> is really fun looking for family >>>> >>>> On 1/18/10, amzgrace <amzgrace@comcast.net> wrote: >>>>> If he did what he said he was going to do, he created a genealogist's >>>>> nightmare for his descendants!! >>>>> >>>>> ----- Original Message ----- >>>>> From: "nora" <bouvx3@verizon.net> >>>>> To: <nyerie@rootsweb.com> >>>>> Sent: Saturday, January 16, 2010 2:43 PM >>>>> Subject: Re: [NYERIE] our ancestors >>>>> >>>>> >>>>>> Thought I'd share this as I am sure so many of us can appreciate it!!! >>>>>> >>>>>> /1852 NEW YEAR RESOLUTION -- SOLVE GENEALOGICAL MYSTERIES/ >>>>>> >>>>>> It is New Year's Eve 1852 and Henry HYDENWELL sits at his desk by >>>>>> candlelight. He dips his quill pen in ink and begins to writes his New >>>>>> Year's resolutions. >>>>>> >>>>>> 1. No man is truly well-educated unless he learns to spell his name >>>>>> at least three different ways within the same document. I resolve to >>>>>> give the >>>>>> appearance of being extremely well-educated in the coming year. >>>>>> >>>>>> 2. I resolve to see to it that all of my children will have the same >>>>>> names that my ancestors have used for six generations in a row. >>>>>> >>>>>> 3. My age is no one's business but my own. I hereby resolve to never >>>>>> list the same age or birth year twice on any document. >>>>>> >>>>>> 4. I resolve to have each of my children baptized in a different >>>>>> church -- either in a different faith or in a different parish. Every >>>>>> third >>>>>> child will not be baptized at all or will be baptized by an itinerant >>>>>> minister >>>>>> who keeps no records. >>>>>> >>>>>> 5. I resolve to move to a new town, new county, or new state at least >>>>>> once every 10 years -- just before those pesky enumerators come around >>>>>> asking silly questions. >>>>>> >>>>>> 6. I will make every attempt to reside in counties and towns where no >>>>>> vital records are maintained or where the courthouse burns down every >>>>>> few >>>>>> years. >>>>>> >>>>>> 7. I resolve to join an obscure religious cult that does not believe >>>>>> in record keeping or in participating in military service. >>>>>> >>>>>> 8. When the tax collector comes to my door, I'll loan him my pen, >>>>>> which has been dipped in rapidly fading blue ink. >>>>>> >>>>>> 9. I resolve that if my beloved wife Mary should die, I will marry >>>>>> another Mary. >>>>>> >>>>>> 10. I resolve not to make a will. Who needs to spend money on a >>>>>> lawyer? >>>>>> >>>>>> ------------------------------- >>>>>> To unsubscribe from the list, please send an email to >>>>>> NYERIE-request@rootsweb.com with the word 'unsubscribe' without the >>>>>> quotes >>>>>> >>>>>> in the subject and the body of the message >>>>> >>>>> >>>>> ------------------------------- >>>>> To unsubscribe from the list, please send an email to >>>>> NYERIE-request@rootsweb.com with the word 'unsubscribe' without the >>>>> quotes >>>>> in the subject and the body of the message >>>>> >>>> >>>> ------------------------------- >>>> To unsubscribe from the list, please send an email to >>>> NYERIE-request@rootsweb.com with the word 'unsubscribe' without the >>>> quotes >>>> >>>> in the subject and the body of the message >>> >>> >>> ------------------------------- >>> To unsubscribe from the list, please send an email to >>> NYERIE-request@rootsweb.com with the word 'unsubscribe' without the >>> quotes >>> in the subject and the body of the message >>> >> >> ------------------------------- >> To unsubscribe from the list, please send an email to >> NYERIE-request@rootsweb.com with the word 'unsubscribe' without the quotes >> >> in the subject and the body of the message > > > ------------------------------- > To unsubscribe from the list, please send an email to > NYERIE-request@rootsweb.com with the word 'unsubscribe' without the quotes > in the subject and the body of the message >

It was a common pracdtice, at least in Germany, to name the first som after the father. I am the first since at least 1600's to not be named George. bob ----- Original Message ----- From: "Jann Parks" <townefabric@ispmgt.com> To: <nyerie@rootsweb.com> Sent: Tuesday, January 19, 2010 8:32 AM Subject: Re: [NYERIE] our ancestors > These Johns had different mothers also. I found a relative who named > all her daughter first name as Mary and then a different middle name. > They were call the middle name at home but not on offical papers. > About 5 of them, That is funny also. > > On 1/19/10, amzgrace <amzgrace@comcast.net> wrote: >> In a similar vein, my great-great grandfather was married twice. He >> named a >> son Ezra who died at age 10 then when he married wife #2, he named >> another >> son Ezra. Until I figured out how young the first one died, it was >> rather >> confusing. >> >> >> ----- Original Message ----- >> From: "Jann Parks" <townefabric@ispmgt.com> >> To: <nyerie@rootsweb.com> >> Sent: Monday, January 18, 2010 11:06 AM >> Subject: Re: [NYERIE] our ancestors >> >> >>> My 2great grandfather was John Putney, He had a son John Putney, my >>> great grandfather. He had 2 sons first and last named John Putney. Tht >>> is really fun looking for family >>> >>> On 1/18/10, amzgrace <amzgrace@comcast.net> wrote: >>>> If he did what he said he was going to do, he created a genealogist's >>>> nightmare for his descendants!! >>>> >>>> ----- Original Message ----- >>>> From: "nora" <bouvx3@verizon.net> >>>> To: <nyerie@rootsweb.com> >>>> Sent: Saturday, January 16, 2010 2:43 PM >>>> Subject: Re: [NYERIE] our ancestors >>>> >>>> >>>>> Thought I'd share this as I am sure so many of us can appreciate it!!! >>>>> >>>>> /1852 NEW YEAR RESOLUTION -- SOLVE GENEALOGICAL MYSTERIES/ >>>>> >>>>> It is New Year's Eve 1852 and Henry HYDENWELL sits at his desk by >>>>> candlelight. He dips his quill pen in ink and begins to writes his New >>>>> Year's resolutions. >>>>> >>>>> 1. No man is truly well-educated unless he learns to spell his name >>>>> at least three different ways within the same document. I resolve to >>>>> give the >>>>> appearance of being extremely well-educated in the coming year. >>>>> >>>>> 2. I resolve to see to it that all of my children will have the same >>>>> names that my ancestors have used for six generations in a row. >>>>> >>>>> 3. My age is no one's business but my own. I hereby resolve to never >>>>> list the same age or birth year twice on any document. >>>>> >>>>> 4. I resolve to have each of my children baptized in a different >>>>> church -- either in a different faith or in a different parish. Every >>>>> third >>>>> child will not be baptized at all or will be baptized by an itinerant >>>>> minister >>>>> who keeps no records. >>>>> >>>>> 5. I resolve to move to a new town, new county, or new state at least >>>>> once every 10 years -- just before those pesky enumerators come around >>>>> asking silly questions. >>>>> >>>>> 6. I will make every attempt to reside in counties and towns where no >>>>> vital records are maintained or where the courthouse burns down every >>>>> few >>>>> years. >>>>> >>>>> 7. I resolve to join an obscure religious cult that does not believe >>>>> in record keeping or in participating in military service. >>>>> >>>>> 8. When the tax collector comes to my door, I'll loan him my pen, >>>>> which has been dipped in rapidly fading blue ink. >>>>> >>>>> 9. I resolve that if my beloved wife Mary should die, I will marry >>>>> another Mary. >>>>> >>>>> 10. I resolve not to make a will. Who needs to spend money on a >>>>> lawyer? >>>>> >>>>> ------------------------------- >>>>> To unsubscribe from the list, please send an email to >>>>> NYERIE-request@rootsweb.com with the word 'unsubscribe' without the >>>>> quotes >>>>> >>>>> in the subject and the body of the message >>>> >>>> >>>> ------------------------------- >>>> To unsubscribe from the list, please send an email to >>>> NYERIE-request@rootsweb.com with the word 'unsubscribe' without the >>>> quotes >>>> in the subject and the body of the message >>>> >>> >>> ------------------------------- >>> To unsubscribe from the list, please send an email to >>> NYERIE-request@rootsweb.com with the word 'unsubscribe' without the >>> quotes >>> >>> in the subject and the body of the message >> >> >> ------------------------------- >> To unsubscribe from the list, please send an email to >> NYERIE-request@rootsweb.com with the word 'unsubscribe' without the >> quotes >> in the subject and the body of the message >> > > ------------------------------- > To unsubscribe from the list, please send an email to > NYERIE-request@rootsweb.com with the word 'unsubscribe' without the quotes > in the subject and the body of the message

These Johns had different mothers also. I found a relative who named all her daughter first name as Mary and then a different middle name. They were call the middle name at home but not on offical papers. About 5 of them, That is funny also. On 1/19/10, amzgrace <amzgrace@comcast.net> wrote: > In a similar vein, my great-great grandfather was married twice. He named a > son Ezra who died at age 10 then when he married wife #2, he named another > son Ezra. Until I figured out how young the first one died, it was rather > confusing. > > > ----- Original Message ----- > From: "Jann Parks" <townefabric@ispmgt.com> > To: <nyerie@rootsweb.com> > Sent: Monday, January 18, 2010 11:06 AM > Subject: Re: [NYERIE] our ancestors > > >> My 2great grandfather was John Putney, He had a son John Putney, my >> great grandfather. He had 2 sons first and last named John Putney. Tht >> is really fun looking for family >> >> On 1/18/10, amzgrace <amzgrace@comcast.net> wrote: >>> If he did what he said he was going to do, he created a genealogist's >>> nightmare for his descendants!! >>> >>> ----- Original Message ----- >>> From: "nora" <bouvx3@verizon.net> >>> To: <nyerie@rootsweb.com> >>> Sent: Saturday, January 16, 2010 2:43 PM >>> Subject: Re: [NYERIE] our ancestors >>> >>> >>>> Thought I'd share this as I am sure so many of us can appreciate it!!! >>>> >>>> /1852 NEW YEAR RESOLUTION -- SOLVE GENEALOGICAL MYSTERIES/ >>>> >>>> It is New Year's Eve 1852 and Henry HYDENWELL sits at his desk by >>>> candlelight. He dips his quill pen in ink and begins to writes his New >>>> Year's resolutions. >>>> >>>> 1. No man is truly well-educated unless he learns to spell his name >>>> at least three different ways within the same document. I resolve to >>>> give the >>>> appearance of being extremely well-educated in the coming year. >>>> >>>> 2. I resolve to see to it that all of my children will have the same >>>> names that my ancestors have used for six generations in a row. >>>> >>>> 3. My age is no one's business but my own. I hereby resolve to never >>>> list the same age or birth year twice on any document. >>>> >>>> 4. I resolve to have each of my children baptized in a different >>>> church -- either in a different faith or in a different parish. Every >>>> third >>>> child will not be baptized at all or will be baptized by an itinerant >>>> minister >>>> who keeps no records. >>>> >>>> 5. I resolve to move to a new town, new county, or new state at least >>>> once every 10 years -- just before those pesky enumerators come around >>>> asking silly questions. >>>> >>>> 6. I will make every attempt to reside in counties and towns where no >>>> vital records are maintained or where the courthouse burns down every >>>> few >>>> years. >>>> >>>> 7. I resolve to join an obscure religious cult that does not believe >>>> in record keeping or in participating in military service. >>>> >>>> 8. When the tax collector comes to my door, I'll loan him my pen, >>>> which has been dipped in rapidly fading blue ink. >>>> >>>> 9. I resolve that if my beloved wife Mary should die, I will marry >>>> another Mary. >>>> >>>> 10. I resolve not to make a will. Who needs to spend money on a >>>> lawyer? >>>> >>>> ------------------------------- >>>> To unsubscribe from the list, please send an email to >>>> NYERIE-request@rootsweb.com with the word 'unsubscribe' without the >>>> quotes >>>> >>>> in the subject and the body of the message >>> >>> >>> ------------------------------- >>> To unsubscribe from the list, please send an email to >>> NYERIE-request@rootsweb.com with the word 'unsubscribe' without the >>> quotes >>> in the subject and the body of the message >>> >> >> ------------------------------- >> To unsubscribe from the list, please send an email to >> NYERIE-request@rootsweb.com with the word 'unsubscribe' without the quotes >> >> in the subject and the body of the message > > > ------------------------------- > To unsubscribe from the list, please send an email to > NYERIE-request@rootsweb.com with the word 'unsubscribe' without the quotes > in the subject and the body of the message >

A lot of girls were given the first name Mary... Especially if their family followed the Catholic faith..I have a family of Germans where all the boys were named Johann. They went by their middle names; George, Peter, Michael and so forth...But if you want a conundrum why would a surname be changed from Schulz to Wodrich or from Tessier to Casey...Sure makes life interesting.. Sara Burkholder > Date: Tue, 19 Jan 2010 08:32:47 -0500 > From: townefabric@ispmgt.com > To: nyerie@rootsweb.com > Subject: Re: [NYERIE] our ancestors > > These Johns had different mothers also. I found a relative who named > all her daughter first name as Mary and then a different middle name. > They were call the middle name at home but not on offical papers. > About 5 of them, That is funny also. > > On 1/19/10, amzgrace <amzgrace@comcast.net> wrote: > > In a similar vein, my great-great grandfather was married twice. He named a > > son Ezra who died at age 10 then when he married wife #2, he named another > > son Ezra. Until I figured out how young the first one died, it was rather > > confusing. > > > > > > ----- Original Message ----- > > From: "Jann Parks" <townefabric@ispmgt.com> > > To: <nyerie@rootsweb.com> > > Sent: Monday, January 18, 2010 11:06 AM > > Subject: Re: [NYERIE] our ancestors > > > > > >> My 2great grandfather was John Putney, He had a son John Putney, my > >> great grandfather. He had 2 sons first and last named John Putney. Tht > >> is really fun looking for family > >> > >> On 1/18/10, amzgrace <amzgrace@comcast.net> wrote: > >>> If he did what he said he was going to do, he created a genealogist's > >>> nightmare for his descendants!! > >>> > >>> ----- Original Message ----- > >>> From: "nora" <bouvx3@verizon.net> > >>> To: <nyerie@rootsweb.com> > >>> Sent: Saturday, January 16, 2010 2:43 PM > >>> Subject: Re: [NYERIE] our ancestors > >>> > >>> > >>>> Thought I'd share this as I am sure so many of us can appreciate it!!! > >>>> > >>>> /1852 NEW YEAR RESOLUTION -- SOLVE GENEALOGICAL MYSTERIES/ > >>>> > >>>> It is New Year's Eve 1852 and Henry HYDENWELL sits at his desk by > >>>> candlelight. He dips his quill pen in ink and begins to writes his New > >>>> Year's resolutions. > >>>> > >>>> 1. No man is truly well-educated unless he learns to spell his name > >>>> at least three different ways within the same document. I resolve to > >>>> give the > >>>> appearance of being extremely well-educated in the coming year. > >>>> > >>>> 2. I resolve to see to it that all of my children will have the same > >>>> names that my ancestors have used for six generations in a row. > >>>> > >>>> 3. My age is no one's business but my own. I hereby resolve to never > >>>> list the same age or birth year twice on any document. > >>>> > >>>> 4. I resolve to have each of my children baptized in a different > >>>> church -- either in a different faith or in a different parish. Every > >>>> third > >>>> child will not be baptized at all or will be baptized by an itinerant > >>>> minister > >>>> who keeps no records. > >>>> > >>>> 5. I resolve to move to a new town, new county, or new state at least > >>>> once every 10 years -- just before those pesky enumerators come around > >>>> asking silly questions. > >>>> > >>>> 6. I will make every attempt to reside in counties and towns where no > >>>> vital records are maintained or where the courthouse burns down every > >>>> few > >>>> years. > >>>> > >>>> 7. I resolve to join an obscure religious cult that does not believe > >>>> in record keeping or in participating in military service. > >>>> > >>>> 8. When the tax collector comes to my door, I'll loan him my pen, > >>>> which has been dipped in rapidly fading blue ink. > >>>> > >>>> 9. I resolve that if my beloved wife Mary should die, I will marry > >>>> another Mary. > >>>> > >>>> 10. I resolve not to make a will. Who needs to spend money on a > >>>> lawyer? > >>>> > >>>> ------------------------------- > >>>> To unsubscribe from the list, please send an email to > >>>> NYERIE-request@rootsweb.com with the word 'unsubscribe' without the > >>>> quotes > >>>> > >>>> in the subject and the body of the message > >>> > >>> > >>> ------------------------------- > >>> To unsubscribe from the list, please send an email to > >>> NYERIE-request@rootsweb.com with the word 'unsubscribe' without the > >>> quotes > >>> in the subject and the body of the message > >>> > >> > >> ------------------------------- > >> To unsubscribe from the list, please send an email to > >> NYERIE-request@rootsweb.com with the word 'unsubscribe' without the quotes > >> > >> in the subject and the body of the message > > > > > > ------------------------------- > > To unsubscribe from the list, please send an email to > > NYERIE-request@rootsweb.com with the word 'unsubscribe' without the quotes > > in the subject and the body of the message > > > > ------------------------------- > To unsubscribe from the list, please send an email to NYERIE-request@rootsweb.com with the word 'unsubscribe' without the quotes in the subject and the body of the message _________________________________________________________________ Hotmail: Free, trusted and rich email service. http://clk.atdmt.com/GBL/go/196390708/direct/01/

In a similar vein, my great-great grandfather was married twice. He named a son Ezra who died at age 10 then when he married wife #2, he named another son Ezra. Until I figured out how young the first one died, it was rather confusing. ----- Original Message ----- From: "Jann Parks" <townefabric@ispmgt.com> To: <nyerie@rootsweb.com> Sent: Monday, January 18, 2010 11:06 AM Subject: Re: [NYERIE] our ancestors > My 2great grandfather was John Putney, He had a son John Putney, my > great grandfather. He had 2 sons first and last named John Putney. Tht > is really fun looking for family > > On 1/18/10, amzgrace <amzgrace@comcast.net> wrote: >> If he did what he said he was going to do, he created a genealogist's >> nightmare for his descendants!! >> >> ----- Original Message ----- >> From: "nora" <bouvx3@verizon.net> >> To: <nyerie@rootsweb.com> >> Sent: Saturday, January 16, 2010 2:43 PM >> Subject: Re: [NYERIE] our ancestors >> >> >>> Thought I'd share this as I am sure so many of us can appreciate it!!! >>> >>> /1852 NEW YEAR RESOLUTION -- SOLVE GENEALOGICAL MYSTERIES/ >>> >>> It is New Year's Eve 1852 and Henry HYDENWELL sits at his desk by >>> candlelight. He dips his quill pen in ink and begins to writes his New >>> Year's resolutions. >>> >>> 1. No man is truly well-educated unless he learns to spell his name >>> at least three different ways within the same document. I resolve to >>> give the >>> appearance of being extremely well-educated in the coming year. >>> >>> 2. I resolve to see to it that all of my children will have the same >>> names that my ancestors have used for six generations in a row. >>> >>> 3. My age is no one's business but my own. I hereby resolve to never >>> list the same age or birth year twice on any document. >>> >>> 4. I resolve to have each of my children baptized in a different >>> church -- either in a different faith or in a different parish. Every >>> third >>> child will not be baptized at all or will be baptized by an itinerant >>> minister >>> who keeps no records. >>> >>> 5. I resolve to move to a new town, new county, or new state at least >>> once every 10 years -- just before those pesky enumerators come around >>> asking silly questions. >>> >>> 6. I will make every attempt to reside in counties and towns where no >>> vital records are maintained or where the courthouse burns down every >>> few >>> years. >>> >>> 7. I resolve to join an obscure religious cult that does not believe >>> in record keeping or in participating in military service. >>> >>> 8. When the tax collector comes to my door, I'll loan him my pen, >>> which has been dipped in rapidly fading blue ink. >>> >>> 9. I resolve that if my beloved wife Mary should die, I will marry >>> another Mary. >>> >>> 10. I resolve not to make a will. Who needs to spend money on a >>> lawyer? >>> >>> ------------------------------- >>> To unsubscribe from the list, please send an email to >>> NYERIE-request@rootsweb.com with the word 'unsubscribe' without the >>> quotes >>> >>> in the subject and the body of the message >> >> >> ------------------------------- >> To unsubscribe from the list, please send an email to >> NYERIE-request@rootsweb.com with the word 'unsubscribe' without the >> quotes >> in the subject and the body of the message >> > > ------------------------------- > To unsubscribe from the list, please send an email to > NYERIE-request@rootsweb.com with the word 'unsubscribe' without the quotes > in the subject and the body of the message

My 2great grandfather was John Putney, He had a son John Putney, my great grandfather. He had 2 sons first and last named John Putney. Tht is really fun looking for family On 1/18/10, amzgrace <amzgrace@comcast.net> wrote: > If he did what he said he was going to do, he created a genealogist's > nightmare for his descendants!! > > ----- Original Message ----- > From: "nora" <bouvx3@verizon.net> > To: <nyerie@rootsweb.com> > Sent: Saturday, January 16, 2010 2:43 PM > Subject: Re: [NYERIE] our ancestors > > >> Thought I'd share this as I am sure so many of us can appreciate it!!! >> >> /1852 NEW YEAR RESOLUTION -- SOLVE GENEALOGICAL MYSTERIES/ >> >> It is New Year's Eve 1852 and Henry HYDENWELL sits at his desk by >> candlelight. He dips his quill pen in ink and begins to writes his New >> Year's resolutions. >> >> 1. No man is truly well-educated unless he learns to spell his name >> at least three different ways within the same document. I resolve to >> give the >> appearance of being extremely well-educated in the coming year. >> >> 2. I resolve to see to it that all of my children will have the same >> names that my ancestors have used for six generations in a row. >> >> 3. My age is no one's business but my own. I hereby resolve to never >> list the same age or birth year twice on any document. >> >> 4. I resolve to have each of my children baptized in a different >> church -- either in a different faith or in a different parish. Every >> third >> child will not be baptized at all or will be baptized by an itinerant >> minister >> who keeps no records. >> >> 5. I resolve to move to a new town, new county, or new state at least >> once every 10 years -- just before those pesky enumerators come around >> asking silly questions. >> >> 6. I will make every attempt to reside in counties and towns where no >> vital records are maintained or where the courthouse burns down every few >> years. >> >> 7. I resolve to join an obscure religious cult that does not believe >> in record keeping or in participating in military service. >> >> 8. When the tax collector comes to my door, I'll loan him my pen, >> which has been dipped in rapidly fading blue ink. >> >> 9. I resolve that if my beloved wife Mary should die, I will marry >> another Mary. >> >> 10. I resolve not to make a will. Who needs to spend money on a >> lawyer? >> >> ------------------------------- >> To unsubscribe from the list, please send an email to >> NYERIE-request@rootsweb.com with the word 'unsubscribe' without the quotes >> >> in the subject and the body of the message > > > ------------------------------- > To unsubscribe from the list, please send an email to > NYERIE-request@rootsweb.com with the word 'unsubscribe' without the quotes > in the subject and the body of the message >

If he did what he said he was going to do, he created a genealogist's nightmare for his descendants!! ----- Original Message ----- From: "nora" <bouvx3@verizon.net> To: <nyerie@rootsweb.com> Sent: Saturday, January 16, 2010 2:43 PM Subject: Re: [NYERIE] our ancestors > Thought I'd share this as I am sure so many of us can appreciate it!!! > > /1852 NEW YEAR RESOLUTION -- SOLVE GENEALOGICAL MYSTERIES/ > > It is New Year's Eve 1852 and Henry HYDENWELL sits at his desk by > candlelight. He dips his quill pen in ink and begins to writes his New > Year's resolutions. > > 1. No man is truly well-educated unless he learns to spell his name > at least three different ways within the same document. I resolve to > give the > appearance of being extremely well-educated in the coming year. > > 2. I resolve to see to it that all of my children will have the same > names that my ancestors have used for six generations in a row. > > 3. My age is no one's business but my own. I hereby resolve to never > list the same age or birth year twice on any document. > > 4. I resolve to have each of my children baptized in a different > church -- either in a different faith or in a different parish. Every > third > child will not be baptized at all or will be baptized by an itinerant > minister > who keeps no records. > > 5. I resolve to move to a new town, new county, or new state at least > once every 10 years -- just before those pesky enumerators come around > asking silly questions. > > 6. I will make every attempt to reside in counties and towns where no > vital records are maintained or where the courthouse burns down every few > years. > > 7. I resolve to join an obscure religious cult that does not believe > in record keeping or in participating in military service. > > 8. When the tax collector comes to my door, I'll loan him my pen, > which has been dipped in rapidly fading blue ink. > > 9. I resolve that if my beloved wife Mary should die, I will marry > another Mary. > > 10. I resolve not to make a will. Who needs to spend money on a > lawyer? > > ------------------------------- > To unsubscribe from the list, please send an email to > NYERIE-request@rootsweb.com with the word 'unsubscribe' without the quotes > in the subject and the body of the message

Have you been with me as I research? LOL You hit the nail on the head with this one. Thanks for making me laugh at my angst! I needed that today. And I'm sure we can all relate to at least one of the items on the list at one time or another. I'm going to keep a copy of this in my "brick wall" folder as a nice reminder to laugh when I'm totally frustrated during the treasure hunt! Thanks so much for posting it. Linda -----Original Message----- From: nyerie-bounces@rootsweb.com [mailto:nyerie-bounces@rootsweb.com] On Behalf Of nora Sent: Saturday, January 16, 2010 2:43 PM To: nyerie@rootsweb.com Subject: Re: [NYERIE] our ancestors Thought I'd share this as I am sure so many of us can appreciate it!!! /1852 NEW YEAR RESOLUTION -- SOLVE GENEALOGICAL MYSTERIES/ It is New Year's Eve 1852 and Henry HYDENWELL sits at his desk by candlelight. He dips his quill pen in ink and begins to writes his New Year's resolutions. 1. No man is truly well-educated unless he learns to spell his name at least three different ways within the same document. I resolve to give the appearance of being extremely well-educated in the coming year. 2. I resolve to see to it that all of my children will have the same names that my ancestors have used for six generations in a row. 3. My age is no one's business but my own. I hereby resolve to never list the same age or birth year twice on any document. 4. I resolve to have each of my children baptized in a different church -- either in a different faith or in a different parish. Every third child will not be baptized at all or will be baptized by an itinerant minister who keeps no records. 5. I resolve to move to a new town, new county, or new state at least once every 10 years -- just before those pesky enumerators come around asking silly questions. 6. I will make every attempt to reside in counties and towns where no vital records are maintained or where the courthouse burns down every few years. 7. I resolve to join an obscure religious cult that does not believe in record keeping or in participating in military service. 8. When the tax collector comes to my door, I'll loan him my pen, which has been dipped in rapidly fading blue ink. 9. I resolve that if my beloved wife Mary should die, I will marry another Mary. 10. I resolve not to make a will. Who needs to spend money on a lawyer? ------------------------------- To unsubscribe from the list, please send an email to NYERIE-request@rootsweb.com with the word 'unsubscribe' without the quotes in the subject and the body of the message No virus found in this incoming message. Checked by AVG - www.avg.com Version: 9.0.725 / Virus Database: 270.14.144/2625 - Release Date: 01/15/10 14:35:00 No virus found in this outgoing message. Checked by AVG - www.avg.com Version: 9.0.725 / Virus Database: 270.14.144/2625 - Release Date: 01/16/10 14:35:00

Boy.....ain't that the truth : -) ----- Original Message ----- From: "nora" <bouvx3@verizon.net> To: <nyerie@rootsweb.com> Sent: Saturday, January 16, 2010 2:43 PM Subject: Re: [NYERIE] our ancestors > Thought I'd share this as I am sure so many of us can appreciate it!!! > > /1852 NEW YEAR RESOLUTION -- SOLVE GENEALOGICAL MYSTERIES/ > > It is New Year's Eve 1852 and Henry HYDENWELL sits at his desk by > candlelight. He dips his quill pen in ink and begins to writes his New > Year's resolutions. > > 1. No man is truly well-educated unless he learns to spell his name > at least three different ways within the same document. I resolve to > give the > appearance of being extremely well-educated in the coming year. > > 2. I resolve to see to it that all of my children will have the same > names that my ancestors have used for six generations in a row. > > 3. My age is no one's business but my own. I hereby resolve to never > list the same age or birth year twice on any document. > > 4. I resolve to have each of my children baptized in a different > church -- either in a different faith or in a different parish. Every > third > child will not be baptized at all or will be baptized by an itinerant > minister > who keeps no records. > > 5. I resolve to move to a new town, new county, or new state at least > once every 10 years -- just before those pesky enumerators come around > asking silly questions. > > 6. I will make every attempt to reside in counties and towns where no > vital records are maintained or where the courthouse burns down every few > years. > > 7. I resolve to join an obscure religious cult that does not believe > in record keeping or in participating in military service. > > 8. When the tax collector comes to my door, I'll loan him my pen, > which has been dipped in rapidly fading blue ink. > > 9. I resolve that if my beloved wife Mary should die, I will marry > another Mary. > > 10. I resolve not to make a will. Who needs to spend money on a > lawyer? > > ------------------------------- > To unsubscribe from the list, please send an email to > NYERIE-request@rootsweb.com with the word 'unsubscribe' without the quotes > in the subject and the body of the message >

Thought I'd share this as I am sure so many of us can appreciate it!!! /1852 NEW YEAR RESOLUTION -- SOLVE GENEALOGICAL MYSTERIES/ It is New Year's Eve 1852 and Henry HYDENWELL sits at his desk by candlelight. He dips his quill pen in ink and begins to writes his New Year's resolutions. 1. No man is truly well-educated unless he learns to spell his name at least three different ways within the same document. I resolve to give the appearance of being extremely well-educated in the coming year. 2. I resolve to see to it that all of my children will have the same names that my ancestors have used for six generations in a row. 3. My age is no one's business but my own. I hereby resolve to never list the same age or birth year twice on any document. 4. I resolve to have each of my children baptized in a different church -- either in a different faith or in a different parish. Every third child will not be baptized at all or will be baptized by an itinerant minister who keeps no records. 5. I resolve to move to a new town, new county, or new state at least once every 10 years -- just before those pesky enumerators come around asking silly questions. 6. I will make every attempt to reside in counties and towns where no vital records are maintained or where the courthouse burns down every few years. 7. I resolve to join an obscure religious cult that does not believe in record keeping or in participating in military service. 8. When the tax collector comes to my door, I'll loan him my pen, which has been dipped in rapidly fading blue ink. 9. I resolve that if my beloved wife Mary should die, I will marry another Mary. 10. I resolve not to make a will. Who needs to spend money on a lawyer?

Thanks!!! I do need it. The dust did get stirred up many decades ago. No surprise to anyone but us youngsters.   laurie Researching: Ancestor Activist- Amico,Asciutto,Arico,Galbo,Giambrone,Mistretta,Frisa, Ortalano,Lazarra,Piacenti Van Ausdale,(Van Oesdale,Vanosdale,Van Arsdale, Van Arsdalen)Hendrickson Hartman,Mikuszewski,Szulc. --- On Sat, 1/9/10, B P POWELL <betts34@bellsouth.net> wrote: From: B P POWELL <betts34@bellsouth.net> Subject: Re: [NYERIE] Sensitive question for Findagrave memorial To: nyerie@rootsweb.com Date: Saturday, January 9, 2010, 12:02 PM I would think that this deep kept secret got out when the father died as you said both wives applied for benefits. Must be decedents did not want to "accept" the facts. Good luck. Betty ________________________________ From: LAURIE <laurieg14120@yahoo.com> To: nyerie@rootsweb.com Sent: Sat, January 9, 2010 7:25:32 AM Subject: Re: [NYERIE] Sensitive question for Findagrave memorial Thanks Linda!   All immediate family is dead. It is only cousins on our side and we are much younger. Anyone around at that time is gone. Our immediate family are the researchers and all of us were born many years after these events. I am sure this all came to a head when the "father" died. I have his military papers and there was activity from both wives for his benefits. But I am still thinking, everyone has given such good advice. I have a saying "if in doubt,don't".   Laurie     Researching: Ancestor Activist- Amico,Asciutto,Arico,Galbo,Giambrone,Mistretta,Frisa, Ortalano,Lazarra,Piacenti Van Ausdale,(Van Oesdale,Vanosdale,Van Arsdale, Van Arsdalen)Hendrickson Hartman,Mikuszewski,Szulc. --- On Thu, 1/7/10, Historic Linda <historic@tampabay.rr.com> wrote: From: Historic Linda <historic@tampabay.rr.com> Subject: Re: [NYERIE] Sensitive question for Findagrave memorial To: nyerie@rootsweb.com Date: Thursday, January 7, 2010, 8:13 PM Perhaps you should "Let sleeping dogs lie."  Instead of looking at how your tree would be correct by incorporating the information on the 2nd family, or how it would help the Findagrave memorial, take a step back and try looking at what harm it might cause - especially since you stated that the immediate family members may not be aware.  Maybe there was a reason it was a secret all these years (1900's ??).  Or perhaps you might ask those involved for their opinion (both sides) and abide by their mutual decision. I've been waiting for someone to answer your query in this vein, but maybe I'm the only one who feels this way.  Sorry Laurie, but in my opinion, if you are not one of the immediate family (wife, child, etc) then I suggest you leave it alone.  Keep it as a note in your private file but don't share it with others without the express permission of those directly involved.  Linda -----Original Message----- From: nyerie-bounces@rootsweb.com [mailto:nyerie-bounces@rootsweb.com] On Behalf Of LAURIE Sent: Thursday, January 07, 2010 8:47 AM To: nyerie@rootsweb.com Subject: Re: [NYERIE] Sensitive question for Findagrave memorial Bob   Yowza! Difficult at the time but for the genealogists,yes much easier!   Thank you for sharing that story.   laurie Researching: Ancestor Activist- Amico,Asciutto,Arico,Galbo,Giambrone,Mistretta,Frisa, Ortalano,Lazarra,Piacenti Van Ausdale,(Van Oesdale,Vanosdale,Van Arsdale, Van Arsdalen)Hendrickson Hartman,Mikuszewski,Szulc. --- On Wed, 1/6/10, Bob <rwurtz114660mi@comcast.net> wrote: From: Bob <rwurtz114660mi@comcast.net> Subject: Re: [NYERIE] Sensitive question for Findagrave memorial To: nyerie@rootsweb..com Date: Wednesday, January 6, 2010, 12:02 PM My wife had it easier. After one of her earlier distant cousins went to Australia , he worked on ships, serving Australian ports.  When he died, both widows appeared at the funeral, all children in tow.  Nice to be remembered by all of your children and all grieving widows. B ----- Original Message ----- From: "LAURIE" <laurieg14120@yahoo.com> To: <nyerie@rootsweb.com> Sent: Wednesday, January 06, 2010 9:44 AM Subject: Re: [NYERIE] Sensitive question for Findagrave memorial Carol, thank you for the advice.It is all true! Everything everyone has posted has been thought provoking! And i agree with everyone's comments! I am still pondering this. Laurie Researching: Ancestor Activist- Amico,Asciutto,Arico,Galbo,Giambrone,Mistretta,Frisa, Ortalano,Lazarra,Piacenti Van Ausdale,(Van Oesdale,Vanosdale,Van Arsdale, Van Arsdalen)Hendrickson Hartman,Mikuszewski,Szulc. --- On Sun, 1/3/10, Carol Stevens <lashbrooke5@yahoo.com> wrote: From: Carol Stevens <lashbrooke5@yahoo.com> Subject: Re: [NYERIE] Sensitive question for Findagrave memorial To: nyerie@rootsweb.com Date: Sunday, January 3, 2010, 8:28 PM It is not necessarily true that if they don't know about FAG that they won't find the memorial. Try googling a few names of people you have memorialized on FAG. I typed in my grandfather's name on Google. First I just used given and surname. over 2900 hits, but something I had done for him on my blog showed up on the second page of hits. then, I tried a search for him and included his middle name. now there are 90 hits and the FAG memorial I built for him is on the very first page of hits. so, if someone is out there snooping around and doing google searches, they may find FAG even if they have NO idea what it is. Just another point of view for you to consider. As far as the first question. I don't have an answer, I personally do not like family secrets, because they usually come out (like you found out, etc.) and they usually are painful. Funny thing, when found out, they often have a positive outcome after the initial screaming and hooping is over. Truth can be "freeing" (horrible choice of words, but, I think you get the drift.) Good luck with your final decision. Carol Aging With Attitude Memory Is More Indelible Than Ink... Chinese proverb: "To forget one's ancestors is to be a brook without a source, a tree without a root." My blog: http://www.reflectionsfromthefence.com/ ________________________________ From: Ruth Madar <deerhardt@verizon.net> To: nyerie@rootsweb.com Sent: Sun, January 3, 2010 7:16:52 PM Subject: Re: [NYERIE] Sensitive question for Findagrave memorial How many in your family know about Findagrave and do they actually use it? I, also, contribute to Findagrave but I don't think anybody in my family or my husband's family know that it exists. However, I am a private type of person and do things without others knowing about it. If it wasn't for genealogy, I wouldn't know it exists. I agree with you that they all should be included in the memorial. From what you wrote, it sounds like you aren't sure who knows and who doesn't. My opinion: put it the way you feel it should be.........that way you'll find out who knows about the situation and who uses Findagrave. If someone comes along with questions, tell them the truth and explain that you didn't know who knew about the situation and who didn't.. After all, if they have the same blood running through their veins, I feel they should know (remember....my opinion). My biggest concern in these situations is 'in-breeding' when no one is around to explain. Let's face it, it's like planning a wedding........you can't please everybody but you do your best. Ruth ------------------------------- To unsubscribe from the list, please send an email to NYERIE-request@rootsweb.com with the word 'unsubscribe' without the quotes in the subject and the body of the message ------------------------------- To unsubscribe from the list, please send an email to NYERIE-request@rootsweb.com with the word 'unsubscribe' without the quotes in the subject and the body of the message ------------------------------- To unsubscribe from the list, please send an email to NYERIE-request@rootsweb.com with the word 'unsubscribe' without the quotes in the subject and the body of the message ------------------------------- To unsubscribe from the list, please send an email to NYERIE-request@rootsweb.com with the word 'unsubscribe' without the quotes in the subject and the body of the message       ------------------------------- To unsubscribe from the list, please send an email to NYERIE-request@rootsweb.com with the word 'unsubscribe' without the quotes in the subject and the body of the message No virus found in this incoming message. Checked by AVG - www.avg.com Version: 9.0.725 / Virus Database: 270.14.129/2606 - Release Date: 01/07/10 14:35:00 No virus found in this outgoing message. Checked by AVG - www.avg.com Version: 9..0.725 / Virus Database: 270.14.129/2606 - Release Date: 01/07/10 14:35:00 ------------------------------- To unsubscribe from the list, please send an email to NYERIE-request@rootsweb.com with the word 'unsubscribe' without the quotes in the subject and the body of the message       ------------------------------- To unsubscribe from the list, please send an email to NYERIE-request@rootsweb.com with the word 'unsubscribe' without the quotes in the subject and the body of the message ------------------------------- To unsubscribe from the list, please send an email to NYERIE-request@rootsweb.com with the word 'unsubscribe' without the quotes in the subject and the body of the message

Thank you Annette, More good thoughts to think abt..     laurie Researching: Ancestor Activist- Amico,Asciutto,Arico,Galbo,Giambrone,Mistretta,Frisa, Ortalano,Lazarra,Piacenti Van Ausdale,(Van Oesdale,Vanosdale,Van Arsdale, Van Arsdalen)Hendrickson Hartman,Mikuszewski,Szulc. --- On Sun, 1/10/10, fredandjp@aol.com <fredandjp@aol.com> wrote: From: fredandjp@aol.com <fredandjp@aol.com> Subject: Re: [NYERIE] Sensitive question for Findagrave memorial (LAURIE) To: nyerie@rootsweb.com Date: Sunday, January 10, 2010, 9:38 AM I have a similar touchy situation, *BUT* some of the people involved are still alive. I'm also in the process of assembling all the information into a book. Long story short, I asked the person who was alive what they wanted. They said in the book, they just wanted the adoption listed, in my private notes, the whole sordid story because future generations would want to know. As far as find a grave is concerned, I'd put something in to the effect of he married twice, here are the two families, but we are still looking for divorce paperwork from the first marriage. For all you know, they went to Mexico or went some place else and got a quicky divorce where people wouldn't know who they were. To be divorced was an embarrassing thing then, so people tended to hide it, especially since that information got printed in the local newspaper. Annette Message: 1 Date: Sat, 9 Jan 2010 05:25:32 -0800 (PST) From: LAURIE <laurieg14120@yahoo.com> Subject: Re: [NYERIE] Sensitive question for Findagrave memorial To: nyerie@rootsweb.com Message-ID: <204153.58646.qm@web55401.mail.re4.yahoo.com> Content-Type: text/plain; charset=iso-8859-1 Thanks Linda! ? All immediate family is dead. It is only cousins on our side and we are much younger. Anyone around at that time is gone. Our immediate family are the researchers and all of us were born many years after these events. I am sure this all came to a head when the "father" died. I have his military papers and there was activity from both wives for his benefits. But I am still thinking, everyone has given such good advice. I have a saying "if in doubt,don't". ? Laurie ? ? Researching: Ancestor Activist- Amico,Asciutto,Arico,Galbo,Giambrone,Mistretta,Frisa, Ortalano,Lazarra,Piacenti Van Ausdale,(Van Oesdale,Vanosdale,Van Arsdale, Van Arsdalen)Hendrickson Hartman,Mikuszewski,Szulc. ------------------------------- To unsubscribe from the list, please send an email to NYERIE-request@rootsweb.com with the word 'unsubscribe' without the quotes in the subject and the body of the message ------------------------------- To unsubscribe from the list, please send an email to NYERIE-request@rootsweb.com with the word 'unsubscribe' without the quotes in the subject and the body of the message ? ? ? ------------------------------- To unsubscribe from the list, please send an email to NYERIE-request@rootsweb.com with the word 'unsubscribe' without the quotes in the subject and the body of the message No virus found in this incoming message. Checked by AVG - www.avg.com Version: 9.0.725 / Virus Database: 270.14.129/2606 - Release Date: 01/07/10 14:35:00 No virus found in this outgoing message. Checked by AVG - www.avg.com Version: 9.0.725 / Virus Database: 270.14.129/2606 - Release Date: 01/07/10 14:35:00 ------------------------------- To unsubscribe from the list, please send an email to NYERIE-request@rootsweb.com with the word 'unsubscribe' without the quotes in the subject and the body of the message       ------------------------------ Message: 2 Date: Sat, 9 Jan 2010 09:02:36 -0800 (PST) From: B P POWELL <betts34@bellsouth.net> Subject: Re: [NYERIE] Sensitive question for Findagrave memorial To: nyerie@rootsweb.com Message-ID: <293781.75201.qm@web180512.mail.gq1.yahoo.com> Content-Type: text/plain; charset=iso-8859-1 I would think that this deep kept secret got out when the father died as you said both wives applied for benefits. Must be decedents did not want to "accept" the facts. Good luck. Betty ________________________________ From: LAURIE <laurieg14120@yahoo.com> To: nyerie@rootsweb.com Sent: Sat, January 9, 2010 7:25:32 AM Subject: Re: [NYERIE] Sensitive question for Findagrave memorial Thanks Linda! ? All immediate family is dead. It is only cousins on our side and we are much younger. Anyone around at that time is gone. Our immediate family are the researchers and all of us were born many years after these events. I am sure this all came to a head when the "father" died. I have his military papers and there was activity from both wives for his benefits. But I am still thinking, everyone has given such good advice. I have a saying "if in doubt,don't". ? Laurie ? ? Researching: Ancestor Activist- Amico,Asciutto,Arico,Galbo,Giambrone,Mistretta,Frisa, Ortalano,Lazarra,Piacenti Van Ausdale,(Van Oesdale,Vanosdale,Van Arsdale, Van Arsdalen)Hendrickson Hartman,Mikuszewski,Szulc. --- On Thu, 1/7/10, Historic Linda <historic@tampabay.rr.com> wrote: From: Historic Linda <historic@tampabay.rr.com> Subject: Re: [NYERIE] Sensitive question for Findagrave memorial To: nyerie@rootsweb.com Date: Thursday, January 7, 2010, 8:13 PM Perhaps you should "Let sleeping dogs lie."? Instead of looking at how your tree would be correct by incorporating the information on the 2nd family, or how it would help the Findagrave memorial, take a step back and try looking at what harm it might cause - especially since you stated that the immediate family members may not be aware.? Maybe there was a reason it was a secret all these years (1900's ??).? Or perhaps you might ask those involved for their opinion (both sides) and abide by their mutual decision. I've been waiting for someone to answer your query in this vein, but maybe I'm the only one who feels this way.? Sorry Laurie, but in my opinion, if you are not one of the immediate family (wife, child, etc) then I suggest you leave it alone.? Keep it as a note in your private file but don't share it with others without the express permission of those directly involved.? Linda -----Original Message----- From: nyerie-bounces@rootsweb.com [mailto:nyerie-bounces@rootsweb.com] On Behalf Of LAURIE Sent: Thursday, January 07, 2010 8:47 AM To: nyerie@rootsweb.com Subject: Re: [NYERIE] Sensitive question for Findagrave memorial Bob ? Yowza! Difficult at the time but for the genealogists,yes much easier! ? Thank you for sharing that story. ? laurie Researching: Ancestor Activist- Amico,Asciutto,Arico,Galbo,Giambrone,Mistretta,Frisa, Ortalano,Lazarra,Piacenti Van Ausdale,(Van Oesdale,Vanosdale,Van Arsdale, Van Arsdalen)Hendrickson Hartman,Mikuszewski,Szulc. --- On Wed, 1/6/10, Bob <rwurtz114660mi@comcast.net> wrote: From: Bob <rwurtz114660mi@comcast.net> Subject: Re: [NYERIE] Sensitive question for Findagrave memorial To: nyerie@rootsweb..com Date: Wednesday, January 6, 2010, 12:02 PM My wife had it easier. After one of her earlier distant cousins went to Australia , he worked on ships, serving Australian ports.? When he died, both widows appeared at the funeral, all children in tow.? Nice to be remembered by all of your children and all grieving widows. B ----- Original Message ----- From: "LAURIE" <laurieg14120@yahoo.com> To: <nyerie@rootsweb.com> Sent: Wednesday, January 06, 2010 9:44 AM Subject: Re: [NYERIE] Sensitive question for Findagrave memorial Carol, thank you for the advice.It is all true! Everything everyone has posted has been thought provoking! And i agree with everyone's comments! I am still pondering this. Laurie Researching: Ancestor Activist- Amico,Asciutto,Arico,Galbo,Giambrone,Mistretta,Frisa, Ortalano,Lazarra,Piacenti Van Ausdale,(Van Oesdale,Vanosdale,Van Arsdale, Van Arsdalen)Hendrickson Hartman,Mikuszewski,Szulc. --- On Sun, 1/3/10, Carol Stevens <lashbrooke5@yahoo.com> wrote: From: Carol Stevens <lashbrooke5@yahoo.com> Subject: Re: [NYERIE] Sensitive question for Findagrave memorial To: nyerie@rootsweb.com Date: Sunday, January 3, 2010, 8:28 PM It is not necessarily true that if they don't know about FAG that they won't find the memorial. Try googling a few names of people you have memorialized on FAG. I typed in my grandfather's name on Google. First I just used given and surname. over 2900 hits, but something I had done for him on my blog showed up on the second page of hits. then, I tried a search for him and included his middle name. now there are 90 hits and the FAG memorial I built for him is on the very first page of hits. so, if someone is out there snooping around and doing google searches, they may find FAG even if they have NO idea what it is. Just another point of view for you to consider. As far as the first question. I don't have an answer, I personally do not like family secrets, because they usually come out (like you found out, etc.) and they usually are painful. Funny thing, when found out, they often have a positive outcome after the initial screaming and hooping is over. Truth can be "freeing" (horrible choice of words, but, I think you get the drift.) Good luck with your final decision. Carol Aging With Attitude Memory Is More Indelible Than Ink... Chinese proverb: "To forget one's ancestors is to be a brook without a source, a tree without a root." My blog: http://www.reflectionsfromthefence.com/ ________________________________ From: Ruth Madar <deerhardt@verizon.net> To: nyerie@rootsweb.com Sent: Sun, January 3, 2010 7:16:52 PM Subject: Re: [NYERIE] Sensitive question for Findagrave memorial How many in your family know about Findagrave and do they actually use it? I, also, contribute to Findagrave but I don't think anybody in my family or my husband's family know that it exists. However, I am a private type of person and do things without others knowing about it. If it wasn't for genealogy, I wouldn't know it exists. I agree with you that they all should be included in the memorial. From what you wrote, it sounds like you aren't sure who knows and who doesn't. My opinion: put it the way you feel it should be.........that way you'll find out who knows about the situation and who uses Findagrave. If someone comes along with questions, tell them the truth and explain that you didn't know who knew about the situation and who didn't.. After all, if they have the same blood running through their veins, I feel they should know (remember....my opinion). My biggest concern in these situations is 'in-breeding' when no one is around to explain. Let's face it, it's like planning a wedding........you can't please everybody but you do your best. Ruth ------------------------------- To unsubscribe from the list, please send an email to NYERIE-request@rootsweb.com with the word 'unsubscribe' without the quotes in the subject and the body of the message ------------------------------- To unsubscribe from the list, please send an email to NYERIE-request@rootsweb.com with the word 'unsubscribe' without the quotes in the subject and the body of the message ------------------------------- To unsubscribe from the list, please send an email to NYERIE-request@rootsweb.com with the word 'unsubscribe' without the quotes in the subject and the body of the message ------------------------------- To unsubscribe from the list, please send an email to NYERIE-request@rootsweb.com with the word 'unsubscribe' without the quotes in the subject and the body of the message ? ? ? ------------------------------- To unsubscribe from the list, please send an email to NYERIE-request@rootsweb.com with the word 'unsubscribe' without the quotes in the subject and the body of the message No virus found in this incoming message. Checked by AVG - www.avg.com Version: 9.0.725 / Virus Database: 270.14.129/2606 - Release Date: 01/07/10 14:35:00 No virus found in this outgoing message. Checked by AVG - www.avg.com Version: 9..0.725 / Virus Database: 270.14.129/2606 - Release Date: 01/07/10 14:35:00 ------------------------------- To unsubscribe from the list, please send an email to NYERIE-request@rootsweb.com with the word 'unsubscribe' without the quotes in the subject and the body of the message ? ? ? ------------------------------- To unsubscribe from the list, please send an email to NYERIE-request@rootsweb.com with the word 'unsubscribe' without the quotes in the subject and the body of the message ------------------------------ To contact the NYERIE list administrator, send an email to NYERIE-admin@rootsweb.com. To post a message to the NYERIE mailing list, send an email to NYERIE@rootsweb.com. __________________________________________________________ To unsubscribe from the list, please send an email to NYERIE-request@rootsweb.com with the word "unsubscribe" without the quotes in the subject and the body of the email with no additional text. End of NYERIE Digest, Vol 5, Issue 6 ************************************ ------------------------------- To unsubscribe from the list, please send an email to NYERIE-request@rootsweb.com with the word 'unsubscribe' without the quotes in the subject and the body of the message

I have a similar touchy situation, *BUT* some of the people involved are still alive. I'm also in the process of assembling all the information into a book. Long story short, I asked the person who was alive what they wanted. They said in the book, they just wanted the adoption listed, in my private notes, the whole sordid story because future generations would want to know. As far as find a grave is concerned, I'd put something in to the effect of he married twice, here are the two families, but we are still looking for divorce paperwork from the first marriage. For all you know, they went to Mexico or went some place else and got a quicky divorce where people wouldn't know who they were. To be divorced was an embarrassing thing then, so people tended to hide it, especially since that information got printed in the local newspaper. Annette Message: 1 Date: Sat, 9 Jan 2010 05:25:32 -0800 (PST) From: LAURIE <laurieg14120@yahoo.com> Subject: Re: [NYERIE] Sensitive question for Findagrave memorial To: nyerie@rootsweb.com Message-ID: <204153.58646.qm@web55401.mail.re4.yahoo.com> Content-Type: text/plain; charset=iso-8859-1 Thanks Linda! ? All immediate family is dead. It is only cousins on our side and we are much younger. Anyone around at that time is gone. Our immediate family are the researchers and all of us were born many years after these events. I am sure this all came to a head when the "father" died. I have his military papers and there was activity from both wives for his benefits. But I am still thinking, everyone has given such good advice. I have a saying "if in doubt,don't". ? Laurie ? ? Researching: Ancestor Activist- Amico,Asciutto,Arico,Galbo,Giambrone,Mistretta,Frisa, Ortalano,Lazarra,Piacenti Van Ausdale,(Van Oesdale,Vanosdale,Van Arsdale, Van Arsdalen)Hendrickson Hartman,Mikuszewski,Szulc. ------------------------------- To unsubscribe from the list, please send an email to NYERIE-request@rootsweb.com with the word 'unsubscribe' without the quotes in the subject and the body of the message ------------------------------- To unsubscribe from the list, please send an email to NYERIE-request@rootsweb.com with the word 'unsubscribe' without the quotes in the subject and the body of the message ? ? ? ------------------------------- To unsubscribe from the list, please send an email to NYERIE-request@rootsweb.com with the word 'unsubscribe' without the quotes in the subject and the body of the message No virus found in this incoming message. Checked by AVG - www.avg.com Version: 9.0.725 / Virus Database: 270.14.129/2606 - Release Date: 01/07/10 14:35:00 No virus found in this outgoing message. Checked by AVG - www.avg.com Version: 9.0.725 / Virus Database: 270.14.129/2606 - Release Date: 01/07/10 14:35:00 ------------------------------- To unsubscribe from the list, please send an email to NYERIE-request@rootsweb.com with the word 'unsubscribe' without the quotes in the subject and the body of the message ------------------------------ Message: 2 Date: Sat, 9 Jan 2010 09:02:36 -0800 (PST) From: B P POWELL <betts34@bellsouth.net> Subject: Re: [NYERIE] Sensitive question for Findagrave memorial To: nyerie@rootsweb.com Message-ID: <293781.75201.qm@web180512.mail.gq1.yahoo.com> Content-Type: text/plain; charset=iso-8859-1 I would think that this deep kept secret got out when the father died as you said both wives applied for benefits. Must be decedents did not want to "accept" the facts. Good luck. Betty ________________________________ From: LAURIE <laurieg14120@yahoo.com> To: nyerie@rootsweb.com Sent: Sat, January 9, 2010 7:25:32 AM Subject: Re: [NYERIE] Sensitive question for Findagrave memorial Thanks Linda! ? All immediate family is dead. It is only cousins on our side and we are much younger. Anyone around at that time is gone. Our immediate family are the researchers and all of us were born many years after these events. I am sure this all came to a head when the "father" died. I have his military papers and there was activity from both wives for his benefits. But I am still thinking, everyone has given such good advice. I have a saying "if in doubt,don't". ? Laurie ? ? Researching: Ancestor Activist- Amico,Asciutto,Arico,Galbo,Giambrone,Mistretta,Frisa, Ortalano,Lazarra,Piacenti Van Ausdale,(Van Oesdale,Vanosdale,Van Arsdale, Van Arsdalen)Hendrickson Hartman,Mikuszewski,Szulc. --- On Thu, 1/7/10, Historic Linda <historic@tampabay.rr.com> wrote: From: Historic Linda <historic@tampabay.rr.com> Subject: Re: [NYERIE] Sensitive question for Findagrave memorial To: nyerie@rootsweb.com Date: Thursday, January 7, 2010, 8:13 PM Perhaps you should "Let sleeping dogs lie."? Instead of looking at how your tree would be correct by incorporating the information on the 2nd family, or how it would help the Findagrave memorial, take a step back and try looking at what harm it might cause - especially since you stated that the immediate family members may not be aware.? Maybe there was a reason it was a secret all these years (1900's ??).? Or perhaps you might ask those involved for their opinion (both sides) and abide by their mutual decision. I've been waiting for someone to answer your query in this vein, but maybe I'm the only one who feels this way.? Sorry Laurie, but in my opinion, if you are not one of the immediate family (wife, child, etc) then I suggest you leave it alone.? Keep it as a note in your private file but don't share it with others without the express permission of those directly involved.? Linda -----Original Message----- From: nyerie-bounces@rootsweb.com [mailto:nyerie-bounces@rootsweb.com] On Behalf Of LAURIE Sent: Thursday, January 07, 2010 8:47 AM To: nyerie@rootsweb.com Subject: Re: [NYERIE] Sensitive question for Findagrave memorial Bob ? Yowza! Difficult at the time but for the genealogists,yes much easier! ? Thank you for sharing that story. ? laurie Researching: Ancestor Activist- Amico,Asciutto,Arico,Galbo,Giambrone,Mistretta,Frisa, Ortalano,Lazarra,Piacenti Van Ausdale,(Van Oesdale,Vanosdale,Van Arsdale, Van Arsdalen)Hendrickson Hartman,Mikuszewski,Szulc. --- On Wed, 1/6/10, Bob <rwurtz114660mi@comcast.net> wrote: From: Bob <rwurtz114660mi@comcast.net> Subject: Re: [NYERIE] Sensitive question for Findagrave memorial To: nyerie@rootsweb..com Date: Wednesday, January 6, 2010, 12:02 PM My wife had it easier. After one of her earlier distant cousins went to Australia , he worked on ships, serving Australian ports.? When he died, both widows appeared at the funeral, all children in tow.? Nice to be remembered by all of your children and all grieving widows. B ----- Original Message ----- From: "LAURIE" <laurieg14120@yahoo.com> To: <nyerie@rootsweb.com> Sent: Wednesday, January 06, 2010 9:44 AM Subject: Re: [NYERIE] Sensitive question for Findagrave memorial Carol, thank you for the advice.It is all true! Everything everyone has posted has been thought provoking! And i agree with everyone's comments! I am still pondering this. Laurie Researching: Ancestor Activist- Amico,Asciutto,Arico,Galbo,Giambrone,Mistretta,Frisa, Ortalano,Lazarra,Piacenti Van Ausdale,(Van Oesdale,Vanosdale,Van Arsdale, Van Arsdalen)Hendrickson Hartman,Mikuszewski,Szulc. --- On Sun, 1/3/10, Carol Stevens <lashbrooke5@yahoo.com> wrote: From: Carol Stevens <lashbrooke5@yahoo.com> Subject: Re: [NYERIE] Sensitive question for Findagrave memorial To: nyerie@rootsweb.com Date: Sunday, January 3, 2010, 8:28 PM It is not necessarily true that if they don't know about FAG that they won't find the memorial. Try googling a few names of people you have memorialized on FAG. I typed in my grandfather's name on Google. First I just used given and surname. over 2900 hits, but something I had done for him on my blog showed up on the second page of hits. then, I tried a search for him and included his middle name. now there are 90 hits and the FAG memorial I built for him is on the very first page of hits. so, if someone is out there snooping around and doing google searches, they may find FAG even if they have NO idea what it is. Just another point of view for you to consider. As far as the first question. I don't have an answer, I personally do not like family secrets, because they usually come out (like you found out, etc.) and they usually are painful. Funny thing, when found out, they often have a positive outcome after the initial screaming and hooping is over. Truth can be "freeing" (horrible choice of words, but, I think you get the drift.) Good luck with your final decision. Carol Aging With Attitude Memory Is More Indelible Than Ink... Chinese proverb: "To forget one's ancestors is to be a brook without a source, a tree without a root." My blog: http://www.reflectionsfromthefence.com/ ________________________________ From: Ruth Madar <deerhardt@verizon.net> To: nyerie@rootsweb.com Sent: Sun, January 3, 2010 7:16:52 PM Subject: Re: [NYERIE] Sensitive question for Findagrave memorial How many in your family know about Findagrave and do they actually use it? I, also, contribute to Findagrave but I don't think anybody in my family or my husband's family know that it exists. However, I am a private type of person and do things without others knowing about it. If it wasn't for genealogy, I wouldn't know it exists. I agree with you that they all should be included in the memorial. From what you wrote, it sounds like you aren't sure who knows and who doesn't. My opinion: put it the way you feel it should be.........that way you'll find out who knows about the situation and who uses Findagrave. If someone comes along with questions, tell them the truth and explain that you didn't know who knew about the situation and who didn't.. After all, if they have the same blood running through their veins, I feel they should know (remember....my opinion). My biggest concern in these situations is 'in-breeding' when no one is around to explain. Let's face it, it's like planning a wedding........you can't please everybody but you do your best. Ruth ------------------------------- To unsubscribe from the list, please send an email to NYERIE-request@rootsweb.com with the word 'unsubscribe' without the quotes in the subject and the body of the message ------------------------------- To unsubscribe from the list, please send an email to NYERIE-request@rootsweb.com with the word 'unsubscribe' without the quotes in the subject and the body of the message ------------------------------- To unsubscribe from the list, please send an email to NYERIE-request@rootsweb.com with the word 'unsubscribe' without the quotes in the subject and the body of the message ------------------------------- To unsubscribe from the list, please send an email to NYERIE-request@rootsweb.com with the word 'unsubscribe' without the quotes in the subject and the body of the message ? ? ? ------------------------------- To unsubscribe from the list, please send an email to NYERIE-request@rootsweb.com with the word 'unsubscribe' without the quotes in the subject and the body of the message No virus found in this incoming message. Checked by AVG - www.avg.com Version: 9.0.725 / Virus Database: 270.14.129/2606 - Release Date: 01/07/10 14:35:00 No virus found in this outgoing message. Checked by AVG - www.avg.com Version: 9..0.725 / Virus Database: 270.14.129/2606 - Release Date: 01/07/10 14:35:00 ------------------------------- To unsubscribe from the list, please send an email to NYERIE-request@rootsweb.com with the word 'unsubscribe' without the quotes in the subject and the body of the message ? ? ? ------------------------------- To unsubscribe from the list, please send an email to NYERIE-request@rootsweb.com with the word 'unsubscribe' without the quotes in the subject and the body of the message ------------------------------ To contact the NYERIE list administrator, send an email to NYERIE-admin@rootsweb.com. To post a message to the NYERIE mailing list, send an email to NYERIE@rootsweb.com. __________________________________________________________ To unsubscribe from the list, please send an email to NYERIE-request@rootsweb.com with the word "unsubscribe" without the quotes in the subject and the body of the email with no additional text. End of NYERIE Digest, Vol 5, Issue 6 ************************************

I would think that this deep kept secret got out when the father died as you said both wives applied for benefits. Must be decedents did not want to "accept" the facts. Good luck. Betty ________________________________ From: LAURIE <laurieg14120@yahoo.com> To: nyerie@rootsweb.com Sent: Sat, January 9, 2010 7:25:32 AM Subject: Re: [NYERIE] Sensitive question for Findagrave memorial Thanks Linda!   All immediate family is dead. It is only cousins on our side and we are much younger. Anyone around at that time is gone. Our immediate family are the researchers and all of us were born many years after these events. I am sure this all came to a head when the "father" died. I have his military papers and there was activity from both wives for his benefits. But I am still thinking, everyone has given such good advice. I have a saying "if in doubt,don't".   Laurie     Researching: Ancestor Activist- Amico,Asciutto,Arico,Galbo,Giambrone,Mistretta,Frisa, Ortalano,Lazarra,Piacenti Van Ausdale,(Van Oesdale,Vanosdale,Van Arsdale, Van Arsdalen)Hendrickson Hartman,Mikuszewski,Szulc. --- On Thu, 1/7/10, Historic Linda <historic@tampabay.rr.com> wrote: From: Historic Linda <historic@tampabay.rr.com> Subject: Re: [NYERIE] Sensitive question for Findagrave memorial To: nyerie@rootsweb.com Date: Thursday, January 7, 2010, 8:13 PM Perhaps you should "Let sleeping dogs lie."  Instead of looking at how your tree would be correct by incorporating the information on the 2nd family, or how it would help the Findagrave memorial, take a step back and try looking at what harm it might cause - especially since you stated that the immediate family members may not be aware.  Maybe there was a reason it was a secret all these years (1900's ??).  Or perhaps you might ask those involved for their opinion (both sides) and abide by their mutual decision. I've been waiting for someone to answer your query in this vein, but maybe I'm the only one who feels this way.  Sorry Laurie, but in my opinion, if you are not one of the immediate family (wife, child, etc) then I suggest you leave it alone.  Keep it as a note in your private file but don't share it with others without the express permission of those directly involved.  Linda -----Original Message----- From: nyerie-bounces@rootsweb.com [mailto:nyerie-bounces@rootsweb.com] On Behalf Of LAURIE Sent: Thursday, January 07, 2010 8:47 AM To: nyerie@rootsweb.com Subject: Re: [NYERIE] Sensitive question for Findagrave memorial Bob   Yowza! Difficult at the time but for the genealogists,yes much easier!   Thank you for sharing that story.   laurie Researching: Ancestor Activist- Amico,Asciutto,Arico,Galbo,Giambrone,Mistretta,Frisa, Ortalano,Lazarra,Piacenti Van Ausdale,(Van Oesdale,Vanosdale,Van Arsdale, Van Arsdalen)Hendrickson Hartman,Mikuszewski,Szulc. --- On Wed, 1/6/10, Bob <rwurtz114660mi@comcast.net> wrote: From: Bob <rwurtz114660mi@comcast.net> Subject: Re: [NYERIE] Sensitive question for Findagrave memorial To: nyerie@rootsweb..com Date: Wednesday, January 6, 2010, 12:02 PM My wife had it easier. After one of her earlier distant cousins went to Australia , he worked on ships, serving Australian ports.  When he died, both widows appeared at the funeral, all children in tow.  Nice to be remembered by all of your children and all grieving widows. B ----- Original Message ----- From: "LAURIE" <laurieg14120@yahoo.com> To: <nyerie@rootsweb.com> Sent: Wednesday, January 06, 2010 9:44 AM Subject: Re: [NYERIE] Sensitive question for Findagrave memorial Carol, thank you for the advice.It is all true! Everything everyone has posted has been thought provoking! And i agree with everyone's comments! I am still pondering this. Laurie Researching: Ancestor Activist- Amico,Asciutto,Arico,Galbo,Giambrone,Mistretta,Frisa, Ortalano,Lazarra,Piacenti Van Ausdale,(Van Oesdale,Vanosdale,Van Arsdale, Van Arsdalen)Hendrickson Hartman,Mikuszewski,Szulc. --- On Sun, 1/3/10, Carol Stevens <lashbrooke5@yahoo.com> wrote: From: Carol Stevens <lashbrooke5@yahoo.com> Subject: Re: [NYERIE] Sensitive question for Findagrave memorial To: nyerie@rootsweb.com Date: Sunday, January 3, 2010, 8:28 PM It is not necessarily true that if they don't know about FAG that they won't find the memorial. Try googling a few names of people you have memorialized on FAG. I typed in my grandfather's name on Google. First I just used given and surname. over 2900 hits, but something I had done for him on my blog showed up on the second page of hits. then, I tried a search for him and included his middle name. now there are 90 hits and the FAG memorial I built for him is on the very first page of hits. so, if someone is out there snooping around and doing google searches, they may find FAG even if they have NO idea what it is. Just another point of view for you to consider. As far as the first question. I don't have an answer, I personally do not like family secrets, because they usually come out (like you found out, etc.) and they usually are painful. Funny thing, when found out, they often have a positive outcome after the initial screaming and hooping is over. Truth can be "freeing" (horrible choice of words, but, I think you get the drift.) Good luck with your final decision. Carol Aging With Attitude Memory Is More Indelible Than Ink... Chinese proverb: "To forget one's ancestors is to be a brook without a source, a tree without a root." My blog: http://www.reflectionsfromthefence.com/ ________________________________ From: Ruth Madar <deerhardt@verizon.net> To: nyerie@rootsweb.com Sent: Sun, January 3, 2010 7:16:52 PM Subject: Re: [NYERIE] Sensitive question for Findagrave memorial How many in your family know about Findagrave and do they actually use it? I, also, contribute to Findagrave but I don't think anybody in my family or my husband's family know that it exists. However, I am a private type of person and do things without others knowing about it. If it wasn't for genealogy, I wouldn't know it exists. I agree with you that they all should be included in the memorial. From what you wrote, it sounds like you aren't sure who knows and who doesn't. My opinion: put it the way you feel it should be.........that way you'll find out who knows about the situation and who uses Findagrave. If someone comes along with questions, tell them the truth and explain that you didn't know who knew about the situation and who didn't.. After all, if they have the same blood running through their veins, I feel they should know (remember....my opinion). My biggest concern in these situations is 'in-breeding' when no one is around to explain. Let's face it, it's like planning a wedding........you can't please everybody but you do your best. Ruth ------------------------------- To unsubscribe from the list, please send an email to NYERIE-request@rootsweb.com with the word 'unsubscribe' without the quotes in the subject and the body of the message ------------------------------- To unsubscribe from the list, please send an email to NYERIE-request@rootsweb.com with the word 'unsubscribe' without the quotes in the subject and the body of the message ------------------------------- To unsubscribe from the list, please send an email to NYERIE-request@rootsweb.com with the word 'unsubscribe' without the quotes in the subject and the body of the message ------------------------------- To unsubscribe from the list, please send an email to NYERIE-request@rootsweb.com with the word 'unsubscribe' without the quotes in the subject and the body of the message       ------------------------------- To unsubscribe from the list, please send an email to NYERIE-request@rootsweb.com with the word 'unsubscribe' without the quotes in the subject and the body of the message No virus found in this incoming message. Checked by AVG - www.avg.com Version: 9.0.725 / Virus Database: 270.14.129/2606 - Release Date: 01/07/10 14:35:00 No virus found in this outgoing message. Checked by AVG - www.avg.com Version: 9..0.725 / Virus Database: 270.14.129/2606 - Release Date: 01/07/10 14:35:00 ------------------------------- To unsubscribe from the list, please send an email to NYERIE-request@rootsweb.com with the word 'unsubscribe' without the quotes in the subject and the body of the message       ------------------------------- To unsubscribe from the list, please send an email to NYERIE-request@rootsweb.com with the word 'unsubscribe' without the quotes in the subject and the body of the message

Thanks Linda!   All immediate family is dead. It is only cousins on our side and we are much younger. Anyone around at that time is gone. Our immediate family are the researchers and all of us were born many years after these events. I am sure this all came to a head when the "father" died. I have his military papers and there was activity from both wives for his benefits. But I am still thinking, everyone has given such good advice. I have a saying "if in doubt,don't".   Laurie     Researching: Ancestor Activist- Amico,Asciutto,Arico,Galbo,Giambrone,Mistretta,Frisa, Ortalano,Lazarra,Piacenti Van Ausdale,(Van Oesdale,Vanosdale,Van Arsdale, Van Arsdalen)Hendrickson Hartman,Mikuszewski,Szulc. --- On Thu, 1/7/10, Historic Linda <historic@tampabay.rr.com> wrote: From: Historic Linda <historic@tampabay.rr.com> Subject: Re: [NYERIE] Sensitive question for Findagrave memorial To: nyerie@rootsweb.com Date: Thursday, January 7, 2010, 8:13 PM Perhaps you should "Let sleeping dogs lie."  Instead of looking at how your tree would be correct by incorporating the information on the 2nd family, or how it would help the Findagrave memorial, take a step back and try looking at what harm it might cause - especially since you stated that the immediate family members may not be aware.  Maybe there was a reason it was a secret all these years (1900's ??).  Or perhaps you might ask those involved for their opinion (both sides) and abide by their mutual decision. I've been waiting for someone to answer your query in this vein, but maybe I'm the only one who feels this way.  Sorry Laurie, but in my opinion, if you are not one of the immediate family (wife, child, etc) then I suggest you leave it alone.  Keep it as a note in your private file but don't share it with others without the express permission of those directly involved.  Linda -----Original Message----- From: nyerie-bounces@rootsweb.com [mailto:nyerie-bounces@rootsweb.com] On Behalf Of LAURIE Sent: Thursday, January 07, 2010 8:47 AM To: nyerie@rootsweb.com Subject: Re: [NYERIE] Sensitive question for Findagrave memorial Bob   Yowza! Difficult at the time but for the genealogists,yes much easier!   Thank you for sharing that story.   laurie Researching: Ancestor Activist- Amico,Asciutto,Arico,Galbo,Giambrone,Mistretta,Frisa, Ortalano,Lazarra,Piacenti Van Ausdale,(Van Oesdale,Vanosdale,Van Arsdale, Van Arsdalen)Hendrickson Hartman,Mikuszewski,Szulc. --- On Wed, 1/6/10, Bob <rwurtz114660mi@comcast.net> wrote: From: Bob <rwurtz114660mi@comcast.net> Subject: Re: [NYERIE] Sensitive question for Findagrave memorial To: nyerie@rootsweb.com Date: Wednesday, January 6, 2010, 12:02 PM My wife had it easier. After one of her earlier distant cousins went to Australia , he worked on ships, serving Australian ports.  When he died, both widows appeared at the funeral, all children in tow.  Nice to be remembered by all of your children and all grieving widows. B ----- Original Message ----- From: "LAURIE" <laurieg14120@yahoo.com> To: <nyerie@rootsweb.com> Sent: Wednesday, January 06, 2010 9:44 AM Subject: Re: [NYERIE] Sensitive question for Findagrave memorial Carol, thank you for the advice.It is all true! Everything everyone has posted has been thought provoking! And i agree with everyone's comments! I am still pondering this. Laurie Researching: Ancestor Activist- Amico,Asciutto,Arico,Galbo,Giambrone,Mistretta,Frisa, Ortalano,Lazarra,Piacenti Van Ausdale,(Van Oesdale,Vanosdale,Van Arsdale, Van Arsdalen)Hendrickson Hartman,Mikuszewski,Szulc. --- On Sun, 1/3/10, Carol Stevens <lashbrooke5@yahoo.com> wrote: From: Carol Stevens <lashbrooke5@yahoo.com> Subject: Re: [NYERIE] Sensitive question for Findagrave memorial To: nyerie@rootsweb.com Date: Sunday, January 3, 2010, 8:28 PM It is not necessarily true that if they don't know about FAG that they won't find the memorial. Try googling a few names of people you have memorialized on FAG. I typed in my grandfather's name on Google. First I just used given and surname. over 2900 hits, but something I had done for him on my blog showed up on the second page of hits. then, I tried a search for him and included his middle name. now there are 90 hits and the FAG memorial I built for him is on the very first page of hits. so, if someone is out there snooping around and doing google searches, they may find FAG even if they have NO idea what it is. Just another point of view for you to consider. As far as the first question. I don't have an answer, I personally do not like family secrets, because they usually come out (like you found out, etc.) and they usually are painful. Funny thing, when found out, they often have a positive outcome after the initial screaming and hooping is over. Truth can be "freeing" (horrible choice of words, but, I think you get the drift.) Good luck with your final decision. Carol Aging With Attitude Memory Is More Indelible Than Ink... Chinese proverb: "To forget one's ancestors is to be a brook without a source, a tree without a root." My blog: http://www.reflectionsfromthefence.com/ ________________________________ From: Ruth Madar <deerhardt@verizon.net> To: nyerie@rootsweb.com Sent: Sun, January 3, 2010 7:16:52 PM Subject: Re: [NYERIE] Sensitive question for Findagrave memorial How many in your family know about Findagrave and do they actually use it? I, also, contribute to Findagrave but I don't think anybody in my family or my husband's family know that it exists. However, I am a private type of person and do things without others knowing about it. If it wasn't for genealogy, I wouldn't know it exists. I agree with you that they all should be included in the memorial. From what you wrote, it sounds like you aren't sure who knows and who doesn't. My opinion: put it the way you feel it should be........that way you'll find out who knows about the situation and who uses Findagrave. If someone comes along with questions, tell them the truth and explain that you didn't know who knew about the situation and who didn't. After all, if they have the same blood running through their veins, I feel they should know (remember....my opinion). My biggest concern in these situations is 'in-breeding' when no one is around to explain. Let's face it, it's like planning a wedding........you can't please everybody but you do your best. Ruth ------------------------------- To unsubscribe from the list, please send an email to NYERIE-request@rootsweb.com with the word 'unsubscribe' without the quotes in the subject and the body of the message ------------------------------- To unsubscribe from the list, please send an email to NYERIE-request@rootsweb.com with the word 'unsubscribe' without the quotes in the subject and the body of the message ------------------------------- To unsubscribe from the list, please send an email to NYERIE-request@rootsweb.com with the word 'unsubscribe' without the quotes in the subject and the body of the message ------------------------------- To unsubscribe from the list, please send an email to NYERIE-request@rootsweb.com with the word 'unsubscribe' without the quotes in the subject and the body of the message       ------------------------------- To unsubscribe from the list, please send an email to NYERIE-request@rootsweb.com with the word 'unsubscribe' without the quotes in the subject and the body of the message No virus found in this incoming message. Checked by AVG - www.avg.com Version: 9.0.725 / Virus Database: 270.14.129/2606 - Release Date: 01/07/10 14:35:00 No virus found in this outgoing message. Checked by AVG - www.avg.com Version: 9.0.725 / Virus Database: 270.14.129/2606 - Release Date: 01/07/10 14:35:00 ------------------------------- To unsubscribe from the list, please send an email to NYERIE-request@rootsweb.com with the word 'unsubscribe' without the quotes in the subject and the body of the message

Perhaps you should "Let sleeping dogs lie." Instead of looking at how your tree would be correct by incorporating the information on the 2nd family, or how it would help the Findagrave memorial, take a step back and try looking at what harm it might cause - especially since you stated that the immediate family members may not be aware. Maybe there was a reason it was a secret all these years (1900's ??). Or perhaps you might ask those involved for their opinion (both sides) and abide by their mutual decision. I've been waiting for someone to answer your query in this vein, but maybe I'm the only one who feels this way. Sorry Laurie, but in my opinion, if you are not one of the immediate family (wife, child, etc) then I suggest you leave it alone. Keep it as a note in your private file but don't share it with others without the express permission of those directly involved. Linda -----Original Message----- From: nyerie-bounces@rootsweb.com [mailto:nyerie-bounces@rootsweb.com] On Behalf Of LAURIE Sent: Thursday, January 07, 2010 8:47 AM To: nyerie@rootsweb.com Subject: Re: [NYERIE] Sensitive question for Findagrave memorial Bob   Yowza! Difficult at the time but for the genealogists,yes much easier!   Thank you for sharing that story.   laurie Researching: Ancestor Activist- Amico,Asciutto,Arico,Galbo,Giambrone,Mistretta,Frisa, Ortalano,Lazarra,Piacenti Van Ausdale,(Van Oesdale,Vanosdale,Van Arsdale, Van Arsdalen)Hendrickson Hartman,Mikuszewski,Szulc. --- On Wed, 1/6/10, Bob <rwurtz114660mi@comcast.net> wrote: From: Bob <rwurtz114660mi@comcast.net> Subject: Re: [NYERIE] Sensitive question for Findagrave memorial To: nyerie@rootsweb.com Date: Wednesday, January 6, 2010, 12:02 PM My wife had it easier. After one of her earlier distant cousins went to Australia , he worked on ships, serving Australian ports.  When he died, both widows appeared at the funeral, all children in tow.  Nice to be remembered by all of your children and all grieving widows. B ----- Original Message ----- From: "LAURIE" <laurieg14120@yahoo.com> To: <nyerie@rootsweb.com> Sent: Wednesday, January 06, 2010 9:44 AM Subject: Re: [NYERIE] Sensitive question for Findagrave memorial Carol, thank you for the advice.It is all true! Everything everyone has posted has been thought provoking! And i agree with everyone's comments! I am still pondering this. Laurie Researching: Ancestor Activist- Amico,Asciutto,Arico,Galbo,Giambrone,Mistretta,Frisa, Ortalano,Lazarra,Piacenti Van Ausdale,(Van Oesdale,Vanosdale,Van Arsdale, Van Arsdalen)Hendrickson Hartman,Mikuszewski,Szulc. --- On Sun, 1/3/10, Carol Stevens <lashbrooke5@yahoo.com> wrote: From: Carol Stevens <lashbrooke5@yahoo.com> Subject: Re: [NYERIE] Sensitive question for Findagrave memorial To: nyerie@rootsweb.com Date: Sunday, January 3, 2010, 8:28 PM It is not necessarily true that if they don't know about FAG that they won't find the memorial. Try googling a few names of people you have memorialized on FAG. I typed in my grandfather's name on Google. First I just used given and surname. over 2900 hits, but something I had done for him on my blog showed up on the second page of hits. then, I tried a search for him and included his middle name. now there are 90 hits and the FAG memorial I built for him is on the very first page of hits. so, if someone is out there snooping around and doing google searches, they may find FAG even if they have NO idea what it is. Just another point of view for you to consider. As far as the first question. I don't have an answer, I personally do not like family secrets, because they usually come out (like you found out, etc.) and they usually are painful. Funny thing, when found out, they often have a positive outcome after the initial screaming and hooping is over. Truth can be "freeing" (horrible choice of words, but, I think you get the drift.) Good luck with your final decision. Carol Aging With Attitude Memory Is More Indelible Than Ink... Chinese proverb: "To forget one's ancestors is to be a brook without a source, a tree without a root." My blog: http://www.reflectionsfromthefence.com/ ________________________________ From: Ruth Madar <deerhardt@verizon.net> To: nyerie@rootsweb.com Sent: Sun, January 3, 2010 7:16:52 PM Subject: Re: [NYERIE] Sensitive question for Findagrave memorial How many in your family know about Findagrave and do they actually use it? I, also, contribute to Findagrave but I don't think anybody in my family or my husband's family know that it exists. However, I am a private type of person and do things without others knowing about it. If it wasn't for genealogy, I wouldn't know it exists. I agree with you that they all should be included in the memorial. From what you wrote, it sounds like you aren't sure who knows and who doesn't. My opinion: put it the way you feel it should be........that way you'll find out who knows about the situation and who uses Findagrave. If someone comes along with questions, tell them the truth and explain that you didn't know who knew about the situation and who didn't. After all, if they have the same blood running through their veins, I feel they should know (remember....my opinion). My biggest concern in these situations is 'in-breeding' when no one is around to explain. Let's face it, it's like planning a wedding........you can't please everybody but you do your best. Ruth ------------------------------- To unsubscribe from the list, please send an email to NYERIE-request@rootsweb.com with the word 'unsubscribe' without the quotes in the subject and the body of the message ------------------------------- To unsubscribe from the list, please send an email to NYERIE-request@rootsweb.com with the word 'unsubscribe' without the quotes in the subject and the body of the message ------------------------------- To unsubscribe from the list, please send an email to NYERIE-request@rootsweb.com with the word 'unsubscribe' without the quotes in the subject and the body of the message ------------------------------- To unsubscribe from the list, please send an email to NYERIE-request@rootsweb.com with the word 'unsubscribe' without the quotes in the subject and the body of the message ------------------------------- To unsubscribe from the list, please send an email to NYERIE-request@rootsweb.com with the word 'unsubscribe' without the quotes in the subject and the body of the message No virus found in this incoming message. Checked by AVG - www.avg.com Version: 9.0.725 / Virus Database: 270.14.129/2606 - Release Date: 01/07/10 14:35:00 No virus found in this outgoing message. Checked by AVG - www.avg.com Version: 9.0.725 / Virus Database: 270.14.129/2606 - Release Date: 01/07/10 14:35:00

Bob   Yowza! Difficult at the time but for the genealogists,yes much easier!   Thank you for sharing that story.   laurie Researching: Ancestor Activist- Amico,Asciutto,Arico,Galbo,Giambrone,Mistretta,Frisa, Ortalano,Lazarra,Piacenti Van Ausdale,(Van Oesdale,Vanosdale,Van Arsdale, Van Arsdalen)Hendrickson Hartman,Mikuszewski,Szulc. --- On Wed, 1/6/10, Bob <rwurtz114660mi@comcast.net> wrote: From: Bob <rwurtz114660mi@comcast.net> Subject: Re: [NYERIE] Sensitive question for Findagrave memorial To: nyerie@rootsweb.com Date: Wednesday, January 6, 2010, 12:02 PM My wife had it easier. After one of her earlier distant cousins went to Australia , he worked on ships, serving Australian ports.  When he died, both widows appeared at the funeral, all children in tow.  Nice to be remembered by all of your children and all grieving widows. B ----- Original Message ----- From: "LAURIE" <laurieg14120@yahoo.com> To: <nyerie@rootsweb.com> Sent: Wednesday, January 06, 2010 9:44 AM Subject: Re: [NYERIE] Sensitive question for Findagrave memorial Carol, thank you for the advice.It is all true! Everything everyone has posted has been thought provoking! And i agree with everyone's comments! I am still pondering this. Laurie Researching: Ancestor Activist- Amico,Asciutto,Arico,Galbo,Giambrone,Mistretta,Frisa, Ortalano,Lazarra,Piacenti Van Ausdale,(Van Oesdale,Vanosdale,Van Arsdale, Van Arsdalen)Hendrickson Hartman,Mikuszewski,Szulc. --- On Sun, 1/3/10, Carol Stevens <lashbrooke5@yahoo.com> wrote: From: Carol Stevens <lashbrooke5@yahoo.com> Subject: Re: [NYERIE] Sensitive question for Findagrave memorial To: nyerie@rootsweb.com Date: Sunday, January 3, 2010, 8:28 PM It is not necessarily true that if they don't know about FAG that they won't find the memorial. Try googling a few names of people you have memorialized on FAG. I typed in my grandfather's name on Google. First I just used given and surname. over 2900 hits, but something I had done for him on my blog showed up on the second page of hits. then, I tried a search for him and included his middle name. now there are 90 hits and the FAG memorial I built for him is on the very first page of hits. so, if someone is out there snooping around and doing google searches, they may find FAG even if they have NO idea what it is. Just another point of view for you to consider. As far as the first question. I don't have an answer, I personally do not like family secrets, because they usually come out (like you found out, etc.) and they usually are painful. Funny thing, when found out, they often have a positive outcome after the initial screaming and hooping is over. Truth can be "freeing" (horrible choice of words, but, I think you get the drift.) Good luck with your final decision. Carol Aging With Attitude Memory Is More Indelible Than Ink... Chinese proverb: "To forget one's ancestors is to be a brook without a source, a tree without a root." My blog: http://www.reflectionsfromthefence.com/ ________________________________ From: Ruth Madar <deerhardt@verizon.net> To: nyerie@rootsweb.com Sent: Sun, January 3, 2010 7:16:52 PM Subject: Re: [NYERIE] Sensitive question for Findagrave memorial How many in your family know about Findagrave and do they actually use it? I, also, contribute to Findagrave but I don't think anybody in my family or my husband's family know that it exists. However, I am a private type of person and do things without others knowing about it. If it wasn't for genealogy, I wouldn't know it exists. I agree with you that they all should be included in the memorial. From what you wrote, it sounds like you aren't sure who knows and who doesn't. My opinion: put it the way you feel it should be........that way you'll find out who knows about the situation and who uses Findagrave. If someone comes along with questions, tell them the truth and explain that you didn't know who knew about the situation and who didn't. After all, if they have the same blood running through their veins, I feel they should know (remember....my opinion). My biggest concern in these situations is 'in-breeding' when no one is around to explain. Let's face it, it's like planning a wedding........you can't please everybody but you do your best. Ruth ------------------------------- To unsubscribe from the list, please send an email to NYERIE-request@rootsweb.com with the word 'unsubscribe' without the quotes in the subject and the body of the message ------------------------------- To unsubscribe from the list, please send an email to NYERIE-request@rootsweb.com with the word 'unsubscribe' without the quotes in the subject and the body of the message ------------------------------- To unsubscribe from the list, please send an email to NYERIE-request@rootsweb.com with the word 'unsubscribe' without the quotes in the subject and the body of the message ------------------------------- To unsubscribe from the list, please send an email to NYERIE-request@rootsweb.com with the word 'unsubscribe' without the quotes in the subject and the body of the message

My wife had it easier. After one of her earlier distant cousins went to Australia , he worked on ships, serving Australian ports. When he died, both widows appeared at the funeral, all children in tow. Nice to be remembered by all of your children and all grieving widows. B ----- Original Message ----- From: "LAURIE" <laurieg14120@yahoo.com> To: <nyerie@rootsweb.com> Sent: Wednesday, January 06, 2010 9:44 AM Subject: Re: [NYERIE] Sensitive question for Findagrave memorial Carol, thank you for the advice.It is all true! Everything everyone has posted has been thought provoking! And i agree with everyone's comments! I am still pondering this. Laurie Researching: Ancestor Activist- Amico,Asciutto,Arico,Galbo,Giambrone,Mistretta,Frisa, Ortalano,Lazarra,Piacenti Van Ausdale,(Van Oesdale,Vanosdale,Van Arsdale, Van Arsdalen)Hendrickson Hartman,Mikuszewski,Szulc. --- On Sun, 1/3/10, Carol Stevens <lashbrooke5@yahoo.com> wrote: From: Carol Stevens <lashbrooke5@yahoo.com> Subject: Re: [NYERIE] Sensitive question for Findagrave memorial To: nyerie@rootsweb.com Date: Sunday, January 3, 2010, 8:28 PM It is not necessarily true that if they don't know about FAG that they won't find the memorial. Try googling a few names of people you have memorialized on FAG. I typed in my grandfather's name on Google. First I just used given and surname. over 2900 hits, but something I had done for him on my blog showed up on the second page of hits. then, I tried a search for him and included his middle name. now there are 90 hits and the FAG memorial I built for him is on the very first page of hits. so, if someone is out there snooping around and doing google searches, they may find FAG even if they have NO idea what it is. Just another point of view for you to consider. As far as the first question. I don't have an answer, I personally do not like family secrets, because they usually come out (like you found out, etc.) and they usually are painful. Funny thing, when found out, they often have a positive outcome after the initial screaming and hooping is over. Truth can be "freeing" (horrible choice of words, but, I think you get the drift.) Good luck with your final decision. Carol Aging With Attitude Memory Is More Indelible Than Ink... Chinese proverb: "To forget one's ancestors is to be a brook without a source, a tree without a root." My blog: http://www.reflectionsfromthefence.com/ ________________________________ From: Ruth Madar <deerhardt@verizon.net> To: nyerie@rootsweb.com Sent: Sun, January 3, 2010 7:16:52 PM Subject: Re: [NYERIE] Sensitive question for Findagrave memorial How many in your family know about Findagrave and do they actually use it? I, also, contribute to Findagrave but I don't think anybody in my family or my husband's family know that it exists. However, I am a private type of person and do things without others knowing about it. If it wasn't for genealogy, I wouldn't know it exists. I agree with you that they all should be included in the memorial. From what you wrote, it sounds like you aren't sure who knows and who doesn't. My opinion: put it the way you feel it should be........that way you'll find out who knows about the situation and who uses Findagrave. If someone comes along with questions, tell them the truth and explain that you didn't know who knew about the situation and who didn't. After all, if they have the same blood running through their veins, I feel they should know (remember....my opinion). My biggest concern in these situations is 'in-breeding' when no one is around to explain. Let's face it, it's like planning a wedding........you can't please everybody but you do your best. Ruth ------------------------------- To unsubscribe from the list, please send an email to NYERIE-request@rootsweb.com with the word 'unsubscribe' without the quotes in the subject and the body of the message ------------------------------- To unsubscribe from the list, please send an email to NYERIE-request@rootsweb.com with the word 'unsubscribe' without the quotes in the subject and the body of the message ------------------------------- To unsubscribe from the list, please send an email to NYERIE-request@rootsweb.com with the word 'unsubscribe' without the quotes in the subject and the body of the message

Carol, thank you for the advice.It is all true! Everything everyone has posted has been thought provoking! And i agree with everyone's comments! I am still pondering this.   Laurie Researching: Ancestor Activist- Amico,Asciutto,Arico,Galbo,Giambrone,Mistretta,Frisa, Ortalano,Lazarra,Piacenti Van Ausdale,(Van Oesdale,Vanosdale,Van Arsdale, Van Arsdalen)Hendrickson Hartman,Mikuszewski,Szulc. --- On Sun, 1/3/10, Carol Stevens <lashbrooke5@yahoo.com> wrote: From: Carol Stevens <lashbrooke5@yahoo.com> Subject: Re: [NYERIE] Sensitive question for Findagrave memorial To: nyerie@rootsweb.com Date: Sunday, January 3, 2010, 8:28 PM It is not necessarily true that if they don't know about FAG that they won't find the memorial. Try googling a few names of people you have memorialized on FAG. I typed in my grandfather's name on Google.  First I just used given and surname.  over 2900 hits, but something I had done for him on my blog showed up on the second page of hits. then, I tried a search for him and included his middle name.  now there are 90 hits and the FAG memorial I built for him is on the very first page of hits. so, if someone is out there snooping around and doing google searches, they may find FAG even if they have NO idea what it is. Just another point of view for you to consider. As far as the first question.  I don't have an answer, I personally do not like family secrets, because they usually come out (like you found out, etc.) and they usually are painful.  Funny thing, when found out, they often have a positive outcome after the initial screaming and hooping is over.  Truth can be "freeing"  (horrible choice of words, but, I think you get the drift.) Good luck with your final decision.  Carol Aging With Attitude Memory Is More Indelible Than Ink... Chinese proverb: "To forget one's ancestors is to be a brook without a source, a tree without a root." My blog: http://www.reflectionsfromthefence.com/ ________________________________ From: Ruth Madar <deerhardt@verizon.net> To: nyerie@rootsweb.com Sent: Sun, January 3, 2010 7:16:52 PM Subject: Re: [NYERIE] Sensitive question for Findagrave memorial How many in your family know about Findagrave and do they actually use it?  I, also, contribute to Findagrave but I don't think anybody in my family or my husband's family know that it exists.  However, I am a private type of person and do things without others knowing about it.  If it wasn't for genealogy, I wouldn't know it exists.  I agree with you that they all should be included in the memorial.  From what you wrote, it sounds like you aren't sure who knows and who doesn't.  My opinion:  put it the way you feel it should be........that way you'll find out who knows about the situation and who uses Findagrave.  If someone comes along with questions, tell them the truth and explain that you didn't know who knew about the situation and who didn't.  After all, if they have the same blood running through their veins, I feel they should know (remember....my opinion).  My biggest concern in these situations is 'in-breeding' when no one is around to explain. Let's face it, it's like planning a wedding........you can't please everybody but you do your best. Ruth ------------------------------- To unsubscribe from the list, please send an email to NYERIE-request@rootsweb.com with the word 'unsubscribe' without the quotes in the subject and the body of the message       ------------------------------- To unsubscribe from the list, please send an email to NYERIE-request@rootsweb.com with the word 'unsubscribe' without the quotes in the subject and the body of the message

Bob,   Wow,what a thought provoking question!   I am going to think on that one, BUT for now   I always feel like both!  The genealogist in me documents data and records,etc. The family historian in me likes the connection and "personal touch".The ancestors are very real for me.   For me, the 2nd family is documented.Whatever happened back then,happened,it is a fact No judgement on anyone.I would just like to preserve that fact for future generations, BUT not at a cost to someone elses, peace of mind.No matter what family they descend from.   Now I have to go ponder this further!   Great question.   laurie   Researching: Ancestor Activist- Amico,Asciutto,Arico,Galbo,Giambrone,Mistretta,Frisa, Ortalano,Lazarra,Piacenti Van Ausdale,(Van Oesdale,Vanosdale,Van Arsdale, Van Arsdalen)Hendrickson Hartman,Mikuszewski,Szulc. --- On Mon, 1/4/10, Bob <rwurtz114660mi@comcast.net> wrote: From: Bob <rwurtz114660mi@comcast.net> Subject: Re: [NYERIE] sensitive question for Findagrave To: nyerie@rootsweb.com Date: Monday, January 4, 2010, 10:40 AM There is a basic question which you might want to consider: Are you a genealogist or a family historian? Bob ----- Original Message ----- From: "LAURIE" <laurieg14120@yahoo.com> To: "NYERIE" <nyerie@rootsweb.com> Sent: Sunday, January 03, 2010 5:31 PM Subject: [NYERIE] sensitive question for Findagrave : Ancestor Activist- Amico,Asciutto,Arico,Galbo,Giambrone,Mistretta,Frisa, Ortalano,Lazarra,Piacenti Van Ausdale,(Van Oesdale,Vanosdale,Van Arsdale, Van Arsdalen)Hendrickson Hartman,Mikuszewski,Szulc. ------------------------------- To unsubscribe from the list, please send an email to NYERIE-request@rootsweb.com with the word 'unsubscribe' without the quotes in the subject and the body of the message ------------------------------- To unsubscribe from the list, please send an email to NYERIE-request@rootsweb.com with the word 'unsubscribe' without the quotes in the subject and the body of the message