Aeons ago, I was 17, doing A levels in both Art and History. I wanted to make a circular, calligraphic, family tree going back say 4 generations. My paternal grandmother was positively obstructive. We all knew that her father was Italian, and she was not too keen to tell me much about him and his family, but when it came to her father-in-law, (and I never knew my grandfather who died 5 years before I was born) she became positively vitriolic. We all knew that he had started an artificial limb business before 1890 (and it still exists, but is not in Notts) but she would tell me NOTHING. Her mantra was "they're dead and gone and best forgotten" (nor did she approve of my idea to learn italian though she could speak it perfectly well) Over 20 years later, with a young family and having been struggling to continue family research, using public transport to go to distant Record Offices and libraries, and in contact with a distant cousin, descendant of the family who still run the limb business, I received a phone call out of the blue. It was an official genealogist who wanted to ask me questions about my research, and specifically about my grandmother. I told him what I knew.He was preparing a book on the centenary of the business.. I remarked that I had discovered that my great grandfather, the one Grandma detested, had left a Will, proved in August 1926, but then revoked and a new grant of probate made in February 1927. My inquirer, said, "Oh, yes. The other family challenged the Will." (My father was an incorrigible romancer and teller of tall tales, so it was ALWAYS difficult to separate fact from fiction. He had remarked now and again that several young men, the spit of his father, followed the coffin. He was 8 years old in 1926) It turned out that indeed, G grandfather had set up house with a soubrette - former companion to Stan Laurel - by whom she had a son in November 1911. The lady friend's house was within about 3 miles of the family home. My grandparents married in July 1913 and had lived next door to each other for most of their childhood. Can you imagine? - the scandal of your father-in-law playing away, with living proof, less than two years before the posh wedding you had been building up to for years! It probably also explains the stony expression on the young bride's face in the wedding photo! Father in law looks like the cat with the cream and his wife ( these 2 my g grandparents) just looks weary. Shortly after this phone call (1989 or thereabouts,) I had one long phone call and one long letter from the son of the 1911 baby. Sadly i have heard nothing since. He was very bitter about the whole business - and this 70+ years on. He was only a couple of years older than me, but was effectively my father's cousin. Jean Wood > Date: Fri, 17 Feb 2012 20:15:06 +0000 > From: [email protected] > To: [email protected] > Subject: Re: [NTT] Skeletons (was: NOTTSGEN Digest, Vol 5, Issue 48) > > > When I started researching the family tree in my teens, my grandfather > told my brother to tell me that he (my GF) wouldn't help me in any way > and that I shouldn't ask! I carried on regardless but without his help ;-) > > For his 90th birthday, I presented him with a hand written 'tree (I did > calligraphy) - him, 2 generations back and 2 generations forward - not > in great detail - just names. He realised and appreciated what I had > achieved and there and then bequeathed me his family albums and all his > diaries, etc. > > By that time, I had discovered that his father was illegitimate - what > he didn't want me to know (thus no dates on the 'tree). But it was a > year or so after his death, that I discovered that his mother was > illegitimate as well. I will never know if *he* ever knew about that or > not. > > I found it fascinating but my dad was really shocked when I told him of > the illegitimacies - 1 generation closer to him was a little too close. > I now temper my excitement when I come across a piece of juicy intrigue! > > Heather > > > > On 17/02/2012 10:03, [email protected] wrote: > > From: Shirley Elston<[email protected]> > > > >> Talking of divorce earlier,I was married in 1974 to someone and we > >> were both married before and had to obtain divorce papers to get > >> married to each other. > >> I knew my OH had been married before so didn't think anything of it > >> at the time. > >> We were together about 40 years altogether,10 of them before we > >> married and 30 years married and then we divorced just a few years > >> ago. I learned my ex had died a couple of years ago and for some > >> unknown reason I was looking on Ancestry at marriages for our > >> marriage details,just curiosity I suppose,like you do! I was amazed > >> to see that my ex had been married twice before he married me and > >> the second marriage had occurred while married still to the first > >> wife! > >> Well of course I had to persue this as I started to wonder about my > >> own marriage,thankfully the second wife had divorced him just a few > >> months before he married me. The second marriage he had was in the > >> 60's so at the in between stage of computers which is probably why > >> he got away with it. He produced the first marriage divorce papers > >> to marry me. He is dead now so I can't even ask him about it . > >> During the first 10 years we were together it suited me not to > >> re-marry after the first disaster and I suppose he didn't persue it > >> because of what he had done! I must confess I was a bit shocked to > >> discover this. > >> > >> Shirley< > > Having been in genealogy for around 40 years now, the very first thing I always tell beginners > > when they ask my advice on how to get started is this: "If you are the sort of person who is > > going to be upset by what you might discover, then don't even think about doing it!" > > > > When I began in the 1970s my late mother was horrified and begged my wife to try and stop > > me. Why? Because virtually the very first thing I found out was that not only had my father > > been married before, moreover that he had had an illegitimate daughter by another woman > > (not his wife) who was my half-sister. As it happens, my sister and I found each other a few > > years later (she lives in Australia) and we have met a number of times and got to know each > > other. We still keep in touch now and then via e-mail. > > > > I could never understand why my mother was so desperate not for me to find out, a > > generational thing I suppose. It turned out when I eventually contacted my half-sister that all > > the family had known about her, my father's brother and sisters had sent her birthday and > > Christmas cards and presents, but no-one had ever told me! My initial reaction was anger > > that I had been prevented from knowing I had a sister for the first half of my life, but that has > > now gone away and we just enjoy keeping in touch. > > > > Families and family history is a funny business and anyone who can't accept what they find > > shouldn't be in it at all! Thanks for giving us your experience, Shirley. > > > > -- > > Roy Stockdill > > Genealogical researcher, writer& lecturer > > Newbies' Guide to Genealogy& Family History: www.genuki.org.uk/gs/Newbie.html > > > > "There is only one thing in the world worse than being talked about, > > and that is not being talked about." > > OSCAR WILDE > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Notts Surname List > > > > http://homepages.ihug.co.nz/~hughw/notts.html > > > > ------------------------------- > > To unsubscribe from the list, please send an email to [email protected] with the word 'unsubscribe' without the quotes in the subject and the body of the message > > > > Notts Surname List > > http://homepages.ihug.co.nz/~hughw/notts.html > > ------------------------------- > To unsubscribe from the list, please send an email to [email protected] with the word 'unsubscribe' without the quotes in the subject and the body of the message