Hi Lin   I entirely agree with your comments on Ray having helped many people and it is appropriate to acknowledge that like many others he contributes to making this a very useful resource to those of us with Notts roots.   Hello Ray   The reason I elected to read your post in response to John is that I know of and respect your professional background and experience. I now know much of your personal story too and it is a good read. The point is it was your choice to post it and include all the details. Young children do not make that choice and I don't think it should be made for them.   I have two illegitimate siblings, both have the same mother as me and neither has the same father! While that was a surprise I would not have been at all surprised to find half a dozen half-siblings sired by my dad in as many countries - who knows one may turn up one day! I discovered my mother's grandmother was charged with the wilful and felonius murder of her first born - not the child of her husband of three months. That was a shock and something I would never have told my mother who had a very romantic view of the grandmother she barely knew - many lies passed down. I did tell a younger aunt and let her tell her older siblings none of whom knew their grandmother. I feel it would have been very wrong to destroy an elderly person's happy memories of a loving grandma by revealing an ugly family secret. Most of my own generation now know the story, which when related to time and place and other factors isn't quite as bad as it sounds. Great grandma was acquitted on the murder charge and found guilty of concealing a birth for which she served two months hard labour. Her first (of seven) child to her husband was born almost nine months to the day of her release date.   You do make some very good points and I am starting to wonder how many people I know, who have no interest in FH, use their mother's maiden-names with banks etc. By the way I am a fiery red-head and also have strong opinions which I too will defend. I will attack someone's contrary opinion if I feel it is worth it but not the person themself. My intent was to decry the method and presentation of an opinion rather than deride the person giving it, did I fail in that?    I would write more and I have plenty of good stories to tell too but I am due at the home of a genuinely sweet old Yorkshire man who wants to get the hang of his new computer! Deaf as a post so communication via email as opposed to telephone calls are a great idea, I do hope it goes well!   Happy hunting to all Kara     From: "[email protected]" <[email protected]> To: [email protected] Sent: Monday, 6 February 2012 8:47 AM Subject: Re: [NTT] Privacy and nonsense etc Thanks for sharing this Roy, its very interesting.  I've read today's  messages with interest, but just want to say you have helped many people over  the years, myself included for which I thank you, and hope that you  continue to do so. Lin