I forgot to mention that I looked at the nearby papers hoping to find something. The only mention of an April 2 death was the same article in both the Dalles (east of Portland) and Astoria (West of Portland). Both articles were in the April 3rd edition. If they can report a death from Paris, it shouldn’t be hard to report a local death. PARIS, April 2 - Prof. Brown Sequared, the supposed inventor of the elixir of life, died here today. I love how short both articles are. Nothing more needs to be said.