Hi Mikey, Thanks a bunch for the chuckles !! Regards, Glenda >Dear All, > > >And you thought you had it bad.................... > > >ALWAYS THOUGHT GREEN SNAKES WERE OK? READ ON........ > >Green Garden Grass snakes can be dangerous, Yes, grass snakes, not >rattlesnakes. > > > A couple in Sweetwater, Texas had a lot of >potted plants, and during a recent cold spell, the wife was bringing a lot >of them indoors to protect them from a possible freeze. It turned out that >a little green garden grass snake was hidden in one of the plants and when >it >had warmed up, it slithered out and the wife saw it go under the sofa. She >let out a very loud scream. > >The husband who was taking a shower ran out into >the living room naked to see what the problem was. She told him there was a >snake under the sofa. >He got down on the floor on his hands and knees to >look for it. > >About that time the family dog came and >cold-nosed him on the leg. He thought the snake had bitten him and he >fainted. >His wife thought he had a heart attack, so she called an >ambulance. The attendants rushed in and loaded him on the stretcher and >started carrying him out. > >About that time the snake came out from under >the sofa and the Emergency Medical Technician saw it and dropped his end of >the stretcher. That's when the man broke his leg and why he is in the >hospital. > >The wife still had the problem of the snake in >the house, so she called on a neighbor man. He volunteered to capture the >snake. He armed himself with a rolled-up newspaper and began poking under >the couch. > >Soon he decided it was gone and told the woman, >who sat down on the sofa in relief. But in relaxing, her hand dangled in >between the cushions, where she felt the snake wriggling around. She >screamed and fainted, the snake rushed back under the sofa, and the neighbor >man, seeing her laying there passed out tried to use CPR to revive her. > >The neighbor's wife, who had just returned from >shopping at the grocery store, saw her husband's mouth on the woman's mouth >and slammed her husband in the back of the head with a bag of canned goods, >knocking him out and cutting his scalp to a point where it needed stitches. >An ambulance was again called and it was determined that the injury required >hospitalization. > >The noise woke the woman from her dead faint and >she saw her neighbor lying on the floor with his wife bending over him, so >she assumed he had been bitten by the snake. She went to the kitchen, >brought >back a small bottle of whiskey, and began pouring it down the man's throat. > >By now the police had arrived. They saw >the unconscious man, smelled the whiskey, and assumed that a drunken fight >had occurred. They were about to arrest them all, when the two women tried >to >explain how it all happened over a little green snake. They called an >ambulance, which took away the neighbor and his sobbing wife. > >Just then the little snake crawled out from under the couch. One of the >policemen drew his gun and fired at it. He missed the snake and hit the leg >of the end table that was on one side of the sofa. The table fell over and >the lamp on it shattered and as the bulb broke, it started a fire in the >drapes. > >The other policeman tried to beat out the flames >and fell through the window into the yard on top of the family dog, who >startled, jumped up and raced out into the street, where an oncoming car >swerved to avoid it and smashed into the parked police car and set it on >fire. >Meanwhile the burning drapes had spread to the walls and the entire house >was blazing. > >Neighbors had called the fire department and the >arriving fire-truck had started raising his ladder as they were halfway down >the street. The rising ladder tore out the overhead wires and put out the >electricity and disconnected the telephones in a ten-square city block >area. > >Time passed ----------------- Both men were >discharged from the hospital, the house was re-built, the police acquired a >new car, and all was right with their world ------- About a year later they >were watching TV and the weatherman announced a cold snap for that night. >The husband asked his wife if she thought they should bring in their plants >for the night. She shot him. > >Regards, > >Mikey.