> > This comes from a Catholic elementary school. The children were asked > questions about the Old and New Testaments. The following statements > about the Bible were written by children. They have not been retouched > or > corrected. Incorrect spelling has been left in. > > _______________________________________________________________________ > > 1. In the first book of the bible, Guinessis, God got tired of creating > the world so he took the Sabbath off. > > 2. Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree. Noah's wife was called > > Joan of Ark. Noah built an Ark, which the animals come on to in pears. > > 3. Lot's wife was a pillar of salt by day, but a ball of fire by night. > > 4. The Jews were a proud people and throughout history they had trouble > with the unsympathetic Genitals. > > 5. Samson was a strongman who let himself be led astray by a Jezebel > like > Delilah. > > 6. Samson slayed the Philistines with the axe of the Apostles. > > 7. Moses led the hebrews to the Red Sea, where they made unleavened > bread > which is bread without any ingredients. > > 8. The Egyptians were all drowned in the dessert. Afterwards, Moses > went > up on Mount Cyanide to get the ten ammendments. > > 9. The first commandment was when Eve told Adam to eat the apple. > > 10. The seventh commandment is thou shalt not admit adultery. > > 11. Moses died before he ever reached Canada. Then Joshua led the > hebrews > in the battle of Geritol. > > 12. The greatest miracle in the Bible is when Joshua told his son to > stand > still and he obey. > > 13. David was a hebrew king skilled at playing the liar. he fought with > > the Finklesteins, a race of people who lived in Biblical times. > > 14. Solomon, one of David's sons had 300 wives and 700 porcupines. > > 15. When Mary heard she was to be the mother of Jesus, she sang the > Magna > Carta. > > 16. When the three wise guys from the east side arrived, they found > Jesus > in the manger. > > 17. Jesus was born because Mary had an immaculate contraption. > > 18. St. John the blacksmith dumped water on his head. > > 19. Jesus enunciated the Golden Rule, which says to do one to others > before they do one to you. He also explained "a man does not live by > sweat alone". > > 20. It was a miracle when Jesus rose from the dead and managed to get > the > tombstone off the entrance. > > 21. The people who followed the lord were called the 12 decibels. > > 22. The eepistles were the wives of the apostles. > > 23. One of the oppossums was St. Matthew who was also a taximan. > > 24. St. Paul cavorted to Christianity. He preached holy acrimony which > is > another name for marriage. > > 25. Christians have only one spouse. This is called monotony. > > ================ > > > > --- Outgoing mail is certified Virus Free. Checked by AVG anti-virus system (http://www.grisoft.com). Version: 6.0.230 / Virus Database: 111 - Release Date: 1/25/01