> Dilbert's Rules of Order > > 01 - I can only please one person per day. Today is not your day. > Tomorrow > is not looking good either. > > 02 - I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make > as > they go flying by. > > 03 - Tell me what you need, and I'll tell you how to get along without > it. > > 04 - Accept that some days you are the pigeon and some days the statue. > > 05 - Needing someone is like needing a parachute. If they aren't there > the > first time, chances are you won't be needing them again. > > 06 - I don't have an attitude problem, you have a perception problem. > > 07 - Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky, and I > thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling? > > 08 - My reality check bounced. > > 09 - On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the escape key. > > 10 - I don't suffer from stress. I am a carrier. > > 11 - You are slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut > butter. > > 12 - Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, because you are crunchy > and > taste good with ketchup. > > 13 - Everybody is somebody else's weirdo. > > 14 - Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level, then > beat > you with experience. > > 15 - A pat on the back is only a few centimeters from a kick in the > butt. > > 16 - Don't be irreplaceable - if you can't be replaced, you can't be > promoted. > > 17 - After any salary raise, you will have less money at the end of the > > month than you did before. > > 18- The more crap you put up with, the more crap you are going to get. > > 19 - You can go anywhere you want if you look serious and carry a > clipboard. > > 21 - If it wasn't for the last minute, nothing would get done. > > 22 - When you don't know what to do, walk fast and look worried. > > 23 - Following the rules will not get the job done. > > 24 - When confronted by a difficult problem, you can solve it more > easily by > reducing it to the question, "How would your (dog/cat) handle this?" > > > > > --- Outgoing mail is certified Virus Free. Checked by AVG anti-virus system (http://www.grisoft.com). Version: 6.0.230 / Virus Database: 111 - Release Date: 1/25/01