Dear All, I hope you enjoy this? The following appeared in a column written by Jane Fraser in The Australian, 3 Feb 2000. A man of the husband kind is in the pub standing at the counter. The mobile telephone rings. He picks it up and holds it to his waiting ear. "Hello?" "Hello darling, are you in the pub?" "Yeah." "Darling, I hate to bother you when you're with your friends, but I've just seen this beautiful and amazing full-length fur coat on sale at a mere $10,000 and I want it more than anything in the whole world - do you think I could buy myself a teensy present for little me, and I promise to be good for the rest of the year, or even my whole life?" Pause. "Well, would you wear it?" Quickly, "Oh darling, yes, yes, indeed I'd wear it all the time, in hot and cold, in wind and sun, in ice and fire. I promise you. It would be the most used fur in the history of minks, seals, sables and all the other animals who so kindly and uncomplainingly give up their lives for women." Pause. Loud shrug. "Okay, then buy it." "Thank you darling, oh I do love you, my sweetness. Now, just while I have you on the phone, as I was flying along the pavement in a flurry of anxiety about the fur, I passed the BMW dealers and in the window was the most adorable little Beamer, just the ticket for a frantically busy woman such as silly old me, and you wouldn't believe it, my angel, but there's a special promotion thingy going on, just for this one afternoon and it is $15,000 less than the usual price. I mean we really need a second car and just think of the money we'd be saving. What do you think - do you think we could stretch to $50,000 for this dear little motorola, I mean what a bargain, a one in a lifetime!" Long pause. "Well, do you really need this car?" "Oh yesyesyesyesyes, absolutely I do, pretty please with bells on." Sigh. "Well, get it then." "Oh my precious, my darling treasure, you are simply the best, I can't wait to see you tonight, grrrrr! now, and just listen to this!" "Mmmm?" "Remember that house we looked at last year, the one which was gazumped from under our very noses. Well, you'll never guess what - it's on sale again, being auctioned in an hour's time, and I understand from the agent the vendor is leaving the country and will take $1.2 mill, darling! That's almost $200,000 less than we would have paid only a year ago! I mean, I know you vaguely went off the idea, but how could we possibly refuse, such disappointment... Oh, do say yes!" Grunt, sigh, long pause, loud shrug. "Okay, but not a cent over 1.2, right?" Kissing noises from phone. Silence. Man of the husband type slowly puts the phone down, stares at it for a minute, picks it up again and holds it above his head and says: "Anyone here belong to this phone?" ROFLOL. Regards, Mikey. Spectemur Agendo.