A few chuckles to start your morning. Sorry about the shouting but that's how I received it and I was too lazy to retype. Gail in Wisconsin Where we are almost above freezing and the sun might shine today. :-) The Following Were Actually Taken From Classified Ads In Newspapers: > > FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER. > > 8 YEARS OLD. HATEFUL LITTLE DOG. > > > > FREE PUPPIES: > > 1/2 COCKER SPANIEL 1/2 SNEAKY NEIGHBOR'S DOG > > > > FREE PUPPIES... PART GERMAN SHEPHERD PART STUPID DOG > > > > FOUND: DIRTY WHITE DOG. LOOKS LIKE A RAT... > > BEEN OUT AWHILE..BETTER BE REWARD. > > > > 1 MAN, 7 WOMAN HOT TUB -- $850/offer > > > > SNOW BLOWER FOR SALE... > > ONLY USED ON SNOWY DAYS. > > > > 2 WIRE MESH BUTCHERING GLOVES: > > 1 5-finger, 1 3-finger, PAIR: $15 > > > > "TICKLE ME ELMO", STILL IN BOX, COMES WITH ITS OWN 1988 MUSTANG, 5L, AUTO, > > EXCELLENT CONDITION $6800 > > > > COWS FOR SALE. NEVER BRED CALVES. > > ALSO 1 GAY BULL FOR SALE. > > > > FULL SIZED MATTRESS. > > 20 YR. WARRANTY. LIKE NEW. SLIGHT URINE SMELL. > > > > NORDIC TRACK $300 > > HARDLY USED, CALL CHUBBY > > > > BILL'S SEPTIC CLEANING > > "WE HAUL AMERICAN MADE PRODUCTS" > > > > HUMMELS - LARGEST SELECTION EVER > > "IF IT'S IN STOCK, WE HAVE IT!" > > > > GEORGIA PEACHES > > CALIFORNIA GROWN - 89 cents lb. > > > > NICE PARACHUTE: > > NEVER OPENED - USED ONCE > > > > TIRED OF WORKING FOR ONLY $9.75 PER HOUR? WE OFFER > > PROFIT SHARING AND > > FLEXIBLE HOURS. STARTING PAY: $7 - $9 PER HOUR. > > > > EXERCISE EQUIPMENT: > > QUEEN SIZE MATTRESS & BOX SPRINGS - $175. > > > > OUR SOFA WILL SEAT THE WHOLE MOB. > > 100% ITALIAN LEATHER. > > > > JOINING NUDIST COLONY! > > SELLING WASHER & DRYER $300. > > > > ALZHEIMER'S CENTER PREPARES > > FOR AN AFFAIR TO REMEMBER > > > > OPEN HOUSE > > BODY SHAPERS TONING SALON > > FREE COFFEE & DONUTS > > > > AND NOW FOR THE BEST OF THE LOT: > > FOR SALE BY OWNER > > Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica. 45 > > volumes. Excellent condition. $1,000.00 negotiable. > > No longer needed. Recently married; wife knows everything.