Hi Maggie, To make matters worse, I've run out of ciggies too ! Since Mike Admin's changes - Reply to Sender does just that , not to the list ! Reply all copies to the original sender and the list, which tends to duplicate things ( Are you reading this Mike ? ). Can I have Daddies or HP on my cow pat please ? She turns to Hikm ? I've had 4 glasses , how many have you had ? :-) Below from my ex-boss's selection ( only the clean joke ) SOME THINGS TO PONDER: If you have a lot of tension and you get a headache, do what it says on the aspirin bottle: Take two and keep away from children. Short skirts have a tendency to make men polite. Have you ever seen a man get on a bus ahead of one? We are born naked, wet, and hungry. Then things get worse. The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong. If the shoe fits, get another one just like it. The things that come to those who wait may be the things left by those who got there first. Give a man a fish, and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish, and he will sit in a boat drinking beer all day. A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well. The only cure for insomnia is to get more sleep. When you go into court you are putting yourself in the hands of 12 people that weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty! Regards Dave > The list has been dead the last couple of days. Has everyone unsubscribed? > Also, where are the answers to the mailings that have been sent or is the > list now not encouraging trivia? Anyway, I hope you enjoy this, Maggie > > > An enthusiastic door-to-door vacuum salesman goes to the first house in his > new territory. > > He knocks, a real mean and tough looking lady opens the door, and before she > has a chance to say anything, he runs inside and dumps cow patties all over > the carpet. > > He says "Lady, if this vacuum cleaner doesn't do wonders cleaning this up, > I'll eat every chunk of it." > > She turns to hikm with a smirk and says, "Do you want ketchup on that?" > > The salesman says, "Why do you ask?" > > She says "We've just moved in and we haven't got the electricity turned on > yet." --- Outgoing mail is certified Virus Free. Checked by AVG anti-virus system (http://www.grisoft.com). Version: 6.0.230 / Virus Database: 111 - Release Date: 25-Jan-01

Dear Dave, None of us are perfect! Maggie some more trivia for you: A preacher wanted to earn money for his church. He had heard there's big money in horse racing so he decided to purchase a horse and enter it in the races. However, at the local race horse auction, the going price was too steep and he wound up purchasing a donkey. The preacher figured that since he had the donkey, he might as well enter it in the races. The first day the donkey finished third. The newspaper headlines read: PREACHER'S ASS SHOWS The preacher was so pleased that he entered the donkey in the next day's race. The donkey won. The paper read: PREACHER'S ASS OUT FRONT The bishop was so upset with the publicity that he ordered the preacher not to enter the donkey in any more races. The next day the paper read: BISHOP SCRATCHES PREACHER'S ASS That was too much for the bishop and he ordered the preacher to get rid of the animal. The preacher gave the donkey to a nearby convent. The next day the paper read: NUNS HAVE THE BEST ASS IN TOWN The bishop fainted. He ordered the nuns to get rid of the donkey. They sold it to a farmer for $10.00 .. the next day the paper read: NUNS PEDDLE ASS FOR $10.00 This upset the bishop so much that he died .... the next day the headline read: TOO MUCH ASS KILLS BISHOP Regards, Mikey. Spectemur Agendo.

<<<To make matters worse, I've run out of ciggies too !>>>> Ahh poor Dave, better go to Asda for some more LOL anon ;-)