regards Dave After leaving the oval office for the last time, Bill Clinton was seated next to an elderly priest on his flight to New York. Because of a minor technical problem, the pilot announced that the airline was offering a free round of drinks as an apology. When the charming flight attendant came by, Clinton ordered a double scotch. He leaned back with his drink as the attendant asked the priest if he would like a drink. "Oh, no thank you," replied the priest. "I would rather commit adultery than drink alcohol." Choking on his swallow of scotch, Clinton quickly put his drink back on the beverage cart. "Excuse me, miss, I didn't know we had a choice." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Hank was a not too smart kind of guy. Everyday when he walked home from work, he would get stopped by three nasty men and they would beat him up and steal his money. Finally, Hank decided that it would serve his best interest to walk a different route and then take up some self-defense classes so this wouldn't happen again. He joined a karate class and soon was doing very well to defend himself. So, one day, on the way home from work Hank took his old route home and sure enough there they were. He walked up to them and the battle ensued. The next afternoon Hank went to his karate class with a black eye, a broken nose and a busted lip. His instructor, shocked, asked him what happened. "Well," explained Hank, "I took my old way home last night so I could beat these guys up who were stealing my money, but they beat me up before I could get my shoes and socks off!" ----------------------------------------------------------------------- A guy walks into a post office one day to see a middle-aged, balding man standing at the counter methodically placing "Love" stamps on bright pink envelopes with hearts all over them. He then takes out a perfume bottle and starts spraying scent all over them. His curiosity getting the better of him, he goes up to the balding man and asks him what he is doing. The man says "I'm sending out 1,000 Valentine cards signed, 'Guess who?'" "But why?" asks the man. "I'm a divorce lawyer," the man replies. --- Outgoing mail is certified Virus Free. Checked by AVG anti-virus system (http://www.grisoft.com). Version: 6.0.231 / Virus Database: 112 - Release Date: 12-Feb-01