Pat, thank you for the informative message about marriage customs for widows. There is another marriage custom called "throwing the stocking" which I have always been curious about. Jonathan Holmes described the custom in his diary as follows: 25 Apr 1737 "in the after part of the day I went unto John Bards: Peter Bowne being with me it being wedding times there. at evening as the young folks was a shoeing tricks in the outward room the Groom and Brid Luckeyly Sliped into Bed and fastened the doore: Some notice was given of the matter before the groom was gott to bed. Some indeavored to peep but the females hindered us with a seeming desire to have all to themselves & that while the groom was ondressing some said that they would open the doore and fe (see) that the brid was rightly put to bed and would throwe the Stocken. after some time the wind rose or something that drew the window sheet open & a person jumpd in and opened the Doore then all hands in a seeking for the brides stocking which after awhile I found in my hand and another I found under the bed then to throwing the stocking after some I threw & hit the brids nose which made lafter (laughter) and after we had done I saluted the brid and so shut the door & window" (John E. Stillwell, "Historical & Genealogical Miscellany", 3:368, Jonathan Holmes' Diary). Any ideas on what throwing the bride's stocking symbolized? Susan Documents Relating to the Colonial History of NJ, Vol. 22 SOME PECULIAR MARRIAGE CUSTOMS. The popular application of certain well known principles of law often leads to quaint and curious customs, and marriage is no exception to such interpretation of the law. By the common law "the marriage is an absolute gift of all chattels personals (of the wife) in possession of her own right, whether the husband survive the wife or not."1 Conversely, "a husband was to be charged for all debts of his wife, dum solo."2 These laws led to a peculiar custom in England, which was transplanted to America, and was practiced in New Jersey, as appears by the following entry in our public records: "Thomas Holmes of Woodbridge brickmaker and Lucracia the widow of John Pierce of New York [marriage license issued July 14, 1679] were married at Mr. Moor's house in Woodbridge Thursday 17 July 1679 by James Bollen. "The said Holmes disclaymed any of ye Widow's Estate, but took her naked only her shift."3 The observant Professor Kalm thus entertainingly explains the custom and its practice in New Jersey in the middle of the eighteenth century: "There is a peculiar diverting custom here, in regard to marrying. When a man dies, and leaves his widow in great poverty, or so that she cannot pay all the debts with what little she has left, and that, notwithstanding all that, there is a person who will marry her, she must be married in no other habit than her shift. By that means, she leaves to the creditors of her deceased husband her cloaths, and every thing which they find in the house. But she is not obliged to pay them any thing more, because she has left them all she was worth, even her cloaths, keeping only a shift to cover her, which the laws of the country cannot refuse her. As soon as she is married, and no longer belongs to the deceased husband, she puts on the cloaths which the second has given her. The Swedish clergymen here have often been obliged to marry a woman in a dress which is so little expensive, and so light. This appears from the registers kept in the churches,1 and from the accounts given by the clergymen themselves. I have likewise often seen accounts of such marriages in the English gazettes, which are printed in these colonies; and I particularly remember the following relation: A woman went, with no other dress than her shift, out of the house of her deceased husband to that of her bridegroom, who met her half-way with fine new cloaths, and said, before all who were present, that he lent them his bride, and put them on her with his own hands. It seems, he said, that he lent the cloaths, lest, if he had said he gave them, the creditors of the first husband should come, and take them from her; pretending that she was looked upon as the relict of her first husband, before she was married to the second."2 1 Co. Litt. 351. 2 1 Rol. 321, 1. 25; 3 Mod. 186. 3 E. J. Deeds, Liber No. 3, f. 158. >From Documents Relating to the Colonial History of New Jersey, Vol. 22 A MARRIAGE LICENSE IN 1695. The following is the oldest New Jersey marriage license known to be in existence: "THE GOVERNOUR AND PROPRIETORS of the Province of East New Jersey, To Any of his Majesties Justices of the peace In the sayd Province, to whose hands these presents shall come, GREETING Whereas Application hath beene made unto us In behalfe of Grasham Mote and Sarah Clayton both of Middletoun In the Countie of Munmouth to bee Joyned In Marriage, And WEE being certainelie Informed that the sayd Grasham Mote and Sarah Clayton are free and unmarried persones THESE are therefore to Authorize and Impower you to Joyne the sayd persones In the holy bond of Matrimonie In usuall forme, for which these presents shall bee your warrant GIVEN under the Seale of the sayd Province the twelth day of ffebruarie Anno Dom: 1696. AND. HAMILTON." This document is written on white paper, both ink and paper excellently preserved. In the upper left hand corner ----- Original Message ----- From: <der@redrose.net> To: <NJMONMOU-L@rootsweb.com> Sent: Saturday, April 08, 2000 3:12 PM Subject: Re: [NJMONMOU] Marriage Customs I missed them too. May I ask the same favor? They sound really interesting. (and hilarious as well, from the way it sounds. :)) Date forwarded: Sat, 8 Apr 2000 08:33:47 -0700 (PDT) From: LindaBch@aol.com Date sent: Sat, 8 Apr 2000 11:32:40 EDT Subject: Re: [NJMONMOU] Marriage Customs To: NJMONMOU-L@rootsweb.com Forwarded by: NJMONMOU-L@rootsweb.com Send reply to: NJMONMOU-L@rootsweb.com > i think i missed the marriage customs listing by pat! does anyone have it to > forward to me? thanks=linda > > Regards, Donna Ristenbatt ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ der@redrose.net Visit: ON THE TRAIL OF OUR ANCESTORS http://www.ristenbatt.com/genealogy ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Ships' Lists, PA and Mennonite Research Corner, Dutch Research Corner, Cemetery Lists, Rev. 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