Even though we've grown older this wish is sincere Merry Christmas to you and a Happy New Year. Sent: Saturday, December 07, 2002 1:59 PM Subject: Christmas Poem Christmas Poem Merry Christmas To My Female Friends On Memories: > > If I were ol' Santa, you know what I'd do > I'd dump silly gifts that are given to you > And deliver some things just inside your front door > Things you have lost, but treasured before. > > I'd give you back all your maidenly vigor, > And to go along with it, a neat tiny figure. > Then restore the old color that once graced your hair > Before rinses and bleaches took residence there. > > I'd bring back the shape with which you were gifted > So things now suspended need not be uplifted. > I'd draw in your tummy and smooth down your back > Till you'd be a dream in those tight fitting slacks. > > I'd remove all your wrinkles and leave only one chin > So you wouldn't spend hours rubbing grease on your > skin > You'd never have flashes or queer dizzy spells > And you wouldn't hear noises like ringing of bells. > > No sore aching feet and no corns on your toes > No searching for spectacles when they're right on your > nose. > Not a shot would you take in your arm, hip or fanny > >From a doctor who thinks you're a nervous old granny. > > You'd never have a headache, so no pills would you > take. > And no heating pad needed since your muscles won't > ache. > Yes, if I were Santa, you'd never look stupid > You'd be a cute little chick with the romance of a > cupid. > > I'd give a lift to your heart when those wolves start > to whistle > And the joys of your heart would be light as a > thistle. > But alas! I'm not Santa. I'm simply just me > The matronest of matrons you ever did see. > > I wish I could tell you all the symptoms I've got > But I'm due at my doctor's for an estrogen shot. > Even though we've grown older this wish is sincere > Merry Christmas to you and a Happy New Year. > > > >