Judy this is a good one. However down here DON"T "Go outside, yell, "Ooh! Look! A deer! And he's got a red nose!" and fire a gun" They shoot at anything that moves. We do have the the United States Redneck Forces here and they are always on alert. Norma ----- Original Message ----- From: Judy Lamken <kilkee@attbi.com> To: <NJ-MEMORIES-L@rootsweb.com> Sent: Thursday, December 12, 2002 3:37 PM Subject: [NJ-Memories] 19 Ways To Confuse Santa Claus ! > 19 Ways To Confuse Santa Claus ! > > Instead of milk and cookies, leave him a salad, and a note explaining > that you think he could stand to lose a few pounds. > While he's in the house, go find his sleigh and write him a speeding > ticket. > Leave him a note, explaining that you've gone away for the holidays. Ask > if he would mind watering your plants. > While he's in the house, replace all his reindeer with exact replicas. > Then wait and see what happens when he tries to get them to fly. > Keep an angry bull in your living room. If you think a bull goes crazy > when he sees a little red cape, wait until he sees that big, red Santa > suit! > Build an army of mean-looking snowmen on the roof, holding signs that > say "We hate Christmas," and "Go away Santa." > Leave a note by the telephone, telling Santa that Mrs. Claus called and > wanted to remind him to pick up some milk and a loaf of bread on his way > home. > While he's in the house, find the sleigh and sit in it. As soon as he > comes back and sees you, tell him that he shouldn't have missed that > last payment, and take off. > Leave a plate filled with cookies and a glass of milk out, with a note > that says, "For The Tooth Fairy. :)" Leave another plate out with half a > stale cookie and a few drops of skim milk in a dirty glass with a note > that says, "For Santa." > Take everything out of your house as if it's just been robbed. When > Santa arrives, show up dressed like a policeman and say, "Well, well. > They always return to the scene of the crime." > Leave out a copy of your Christmas list with last-minute changes and > corrections. > While he's in the house, cover the top of the chimney with barbed wire. > Leave lots of hunting trophies and guns out where Santa's sure to see > them. Go outside, yell, "Ooh! Look! A deer! And he's got a red nose!" > and fire a gun. > Leave Santa a note, explaining that you've moved. Include a map with > unclear and hard-to-read directions to your new house. > Set a bear trap at the bottom of the chimney. Wait for Santa to get > caught in it, and then explain that you're sorry, but from a distance, > he looked like a bear. > Leave out a Santa suit, with a dry-cleaning bill. > Paint "hoof-prints" all over your face and clothes. While he's in the > house, go out on the roof. When he comes back up, act like you've been > "trampled." Threaten to sue. > Instead of ornaments, decorate your tree with Easter eggs. Dress up like > the Easter Bunny. Wait for Santa to come and then say, "This > neighborhood ain't big enough for the both of us." > > > > ============================== > To join Ancestry.com and access our 1.2 billion online genealogy records, go to: > http://www.ancestry.com/rd/redir.asp?targetid=571&sourceid=1237 >