I love these. My funny questions were not asked at Tech Support but asked of many people on this list who had the patience to try to understand my question. Happy Holidays to All of You Rose Here are some more conversations which had actually happened between help desk people and their customers. Tech Support: "Is your computer on a separate telephone line?" Customer: "No." (clicks the button to log on to our service) Tech Support: "Well then we can't--" Customer: "It says 'no dial tone'." Tech Support: "That's because you're on the line with me right now. You need to--" Customer: "No, that's not it. It does this all the time. I just have to try a few times, and it will let me through." Tech Support: "No, ma'am. It's not even trying to dial right now because you're on the phone with me." Customer: "It must be busy. I'll try again later." -=+=- Customer: "I'm having trouble installing Microsoft Word." Tech Support: "Tell me what you've done." Customer: "I typed 'A:SETUP'." Tech Support: "Ma'am, remove the disk and tell me what it says." Customer: "It says '[PC manufacturer] Restore and Recovery disk'." Tech Support: "Insert the MS Word setup disk." Customer: "What?" Tech Support: "Did you buy MS word?" Customer "No." -=+=- Customer: "Do I need a computer to use your software?" -=+=- Tech Support: "Ok, in the bottom left hand side of the screen, can you see the 'OK' button displayed?" Customer: "Wow. How can you see my screen from there?" Tech Support: "Years of training..." -=+=- Tech Support: "What type of computer do you have?" Customer: "A white one." -=+=- Customer: "I'm going to be using Windows NT. Should I get the Server or Workstation version?" Tech Support: "Well, are you using it as a workstation or as a server?" Customer: "A server. So, which one do I get?" Tech Support: "The server version perhaps?" Customer: "Which one is that?" Tech Support: "Windows NT Server." Customer: "Ok, thanks." -=+=- Tech Support: "Type 'A:' at the prompt." Customer: "How do you spell that?" -=+=- Customer: "I can't log in to my account." Tech Support: "Ok, let's look at your configuration." Customer: "Ok... but I know that my User ID is case sensitive." Tech Support: "Yes it is. Ok, what does it say in the 'User ID' field?" Customer: "'Case Sensitive'." -=+=- Tech Support: "What's on your screen right now?" Customer: "A stuffed animal that my boyfriend got me at the grocery store." -=+=- Tech Support: "What operating system are you running?" Customer: "Pentium." -=+=- Tech Support: "What version of the Mac OS are you using?" Customer: "Word 6.0." -=+=- Customer: "How do I print my voicemail?" -=+=- Customer: "I don't need any of that SQL stuff -- I just want a database!" -=+=- Tech Support: "What does the screen say now?" Customer: "It says, 'Hit ENTER when ready'." Tech Support: "Well?" Customer: "How do I know when it's ready?" -=+=- Customer: "I have a long distance modem." -=+=- Customer: "I don't have a space bar." -=+=- Customer: "Do I have to hit 'F' and '8' at the same time?" Received from [avni] Funny-Files list. -=+=- Remember when the funniest jokes were the clean ones? They still are! The Good, Clean Funnies List: Good, clean funnies five times a week, FOR FREE! ... AND NO ADS IN THE MAILINGS! The latest GCFL funny can always be found on the web at http://www.gcfl.net/archive/latest.html For subscription and other information, go to our web page at http://www.gcfl.net, or send email to gcfl-info@gcfl.net.