I found this in the Mar-May 1998 Leafy Branches from Adams Co, NE Genealogical Society and thought it was hilarious. (Much of it fits small towns anywhere...and though I live in Omaha now, I have lived in such communities.) You Know You're a Nebraskan When... (from Marilyn L. Busboom) ...during a storm you check the cattle before you check the kids. ...you are related to more than half the town. ...you can tell the difference between a horse and a cow from a distance. ...you don't put too much effort into hairstyles due to wind and weather. ...you're worried if Nebraska University's star quarterback is hurt and you're hoping it's the first thing on the 6 o'clock news. ...you use all your life savings to go to the Colorado-Nebraska football game. ...you can wear red and white overalls out in public and not feel stupid. ...there's a tornado warning and the whole town is outside watching for it. ...the local gas station sells live bait. ...you think Abraham Lincoln was named after the capital of Nebraska. ...you know the Woodman Tower isn't made out of wood. ...you don't buy all your vegetables at the grocery store. ...you know you can't tube upstream. ...you go to the State Fair on your family vacation. ...you get up at 5:30 a.m. and go down to the coffee shop. ...you're on a first name baiss with the county sherriff. ...little smokies are something you serve on special occasions. ...you go to the lake because it's almost like going to the ocean. ...you know what "the sea of red and white" is. ...all your radio pre-set buttons are country. ...you try to find the cheapest room rates when going out of town. ...using the elevator involves a corn truck. ...your mayor is also your doctor, barber, and dentist. ...you know youshould listen to the weather forecast before picking out an outfit. ...you are walking knee-deep in snow. ...you call the wrong number and talk to the person for an hour anyway. ...your excuse for getting out of school is that the cows got out. ...you talk with a friend about some big event you are going to attend, and by the end of the conversation you've decided you're both too broke to go. ...you know cow pies aren't made of beef. ...your early morning prayer covers rain, cattle, Tom Osborne, and Frank Solich. ...you wake up when it's dark and go to bed when it's still light. ...you consider a romantic evening driving through McDonald's and renting a hunting instructional video. ...you want to buy manure. ...you listen to "Paul Harvey" every day at noon. ...you can tell it's a farmer working late in his field and not a UFO. ...your nearest neighbor is in the next area code. ...you leave your snow tires n year-round. ...you know the difference between field corn and sweet corn when they are still on the stalk. ...you know the code names for everon the CB. ...you pick up all the free stuff at the State Fair. ...you'll skip your mother's funeral for the first day of deer season. ...you can eat an ear of corn with no utensils in under 20 seconds. ...you don't clean up the dog's mess because it's just fertilizer. ...you wear your irrigation boots to church. ...you know enough to get your driving done early on Sundays before the Sunday drivers come out. ...it takes 30 seconds to reach your destination and it's clear across town. ...you consider a building a mall if it's bigger than the local K-Mart. ...you can tell the smell of a skunk and the smell of a feedlot apart. ...the meaning of true love is that you'll ride in the tractor with him.